Newt Gingrich: The Closer:

Asked under what circumstances he would enter the Republican
Presidential race, Newt Gingrich, 62, said he plans to continue
traveling the United States talking about the issues.

"My hope is that five or six candidates are going to jump up, steal
all of my ideas, and I will be able to relax and go golf," he said.

On the Iraq war, Gingrich said a U.S. victory will come when there's
an Iraqi police, military and intelligence system that could hunt down
"our enemies." He said there are "no circumstances" where the United
States can exit Iraq in defeat.

"We have to win," he said.

But he said the war on Islamic terrorism could last up to 70 years.

Newt Gingrich: a man with a plan

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"If the American People Say I Have to Be President, It Will Happen"

Newt Gingrich has always been a man with a plan, whether as a high
school student planning to marry Miss Battley, his geometry teacher
(which he did--she's the one he later dumped while she was recovering
from cancer), or as a college student plotting new ways to get
deferments to avoid Vietnam, or as the architect of the Contract With
America.

Of course, that one ended rather badly for him in the Republican
debacle of 1998, when he lost the Speakership and went home to
reinvent himself and dump his second wife, Marianne.

Now Newt's back, with a plan to become president almost by magic.
Here's what he told Fortune magazine:

"I am not 'running' for president. I am seeking to create a movement
to win the future by offering a series of solutions so compelling that
if the American people say I have to be president, it will happen."

Wow. I'm picturing David Blaine, only chubbier, older and even more
full of himself. So...if he's not running, but he's waiting for a sign
that the American people want him to be president, what do we do, text
message our votes, like on American Idol, or something?

If only. Just to hedge his bets, Newt's all over Iowa and New
Hampshire, and he's creating a 527 group that he hopes will be a
campaign cash cow, should he ever deign to campaign. He is a guy with
big ideas. He's also a guy with a big past--and not just the three
marriages. You can read all about Newt in Naked Republicans, a Full-
frontal Exposure of Right-Wing Hypocrisy and Greed, but for starters,
we can't forget the ethics issues, the creation of the sleazy,
bullying Republican revolving-door lobbyist system now known as
the K street project, and the pouty government shutdown he
orchestrated in a losing battle with Bill Clinton, just to name a few
career highlights.

And speaking of pouty, after the Allen-Webb campaign, who can forget
that Gingrich is the co-author of many books, like "1945," which
contains this steamy passage:

Suddenly the pouting sex kitten gave way to Diana the Huntress. She
rolled onto to him and somehow was sitting athwart his chest, her
knees pinning his shoulders. 'Tell me, or I will make you do terrible
things,' she hissed.

'Terrible things' like writing really bad historical novels,
presumably. Come to think of it, he writes historical fiction, and
he's trying to fictionalize his history.

The mainstream media have short attention spans and even shorter
memories, so Newt will get more than his share of uncritical free
media as he launches his magical mystery tour.

Like the new Nixon in 1968, he's trying to be the new Newt, but he's
not going to be able to shake off the old Newt as easily as he did his
ex-wives.