> The reported acute divorce statistics are so well
> documented is often goes without saying that
> a lot of marriages are no marriages, and possibly
> will last less than 5 years, where at the turn of last
> century couples would be celebrating 30, 40,50 years
> together.
>
> The wreckage divorces create and the affect on the
> closest people in our lives and unknowingly upon our
> children may also have a lasting effect on their
> emotional security and sense of fair play and well
> being.
>
> My divorce and separations were terrible and heart
> wrenching, although I did my best to see that the kids
> wern't upset and that I didnt do anything to irritate
> or antagonise the ex-partners or their closest relatives
> etc. In fact the threars against me made both fathers
> were so obvious and frightening I never completed a claim
> for financial support for either child.
>
> While both fathers in fear of losing both their cash and
> needing their ego's massaged sought the support of
> friends and legal advisors inventing outrageous stories
> and terrifying tales...I felt so frightened and intimidated
> by the louts (who after all were bigger and better off than me)
> I had to tell the Maintenence agancies in all honesty that
> a court case was too terrifying, all I wanted to do was to
> find someone close to confide in and find some peace and
> traquility after the loss and heartaches.
>
> Legally speaking...Ihave always earned and worked...
> neither father had given me money of furnishings or
> clothes or house, we never even had a joint accounts..
> we had met, fallen in love and they had moved in with me.
>
> The contents of the house are then mine...Inever needed
> to ask for charity or welfare because I had bought and
> paid and made my own...
>
> Legally of course, the case would come to our British
> courts, and I, having admitted that I was too afraid of
> violence and emotional abuse, accepted that I was too
> tired or disturbed to fight it out on grounds of mental
> or physical cruelty, elected to take the easy route and
> went for grounds of separation.
>
> In the mean time.. a mental health report had been made
> upfor the courts, there was no time to check my ex partners
> extra ordinary tales, and so the courts took a breath of air
> said that the child I was breast feeding had to go to his
> father, a while later...another court case and more phyciatric
> reports were blown out of proportion and the separation
> between one very unhappy child and a new sibling became
> a chasm.
>
> What exactly was the main problem ? a little advise...
> don't think of money, and don't tell lies.
>
> Several years down the line..I have both kids and everyone
> is doing well, but then I hav'nt anticipated, that now..I should
> HAVE to finalize a case thats never yet been completed
> regards financial support and housing. I don't ever want to have
> my children disturbed as they are doing really well at their
> school, and seem very happy together and with their friends.
>
> Secondarily...the amount of work and consequently work
> affecting wages to be made for the, lawyers, solicitors,
> health agencies and 'team workers' from the disgusting
> interest in our childrens privacy is astonishing.
>
> ..if lies and money win, and I'm made lame, too lame to
> care for the children, look after them for me, eh?