> FOR THOSE WHO TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY
> 1.    Save the whales.  Collect the whole set.
> 2.    A day without sunshine is like...night.
> 3.    On the other hand, you have different fingers.
> 4.    I just got lost in thought.  It was unfamiliar territory.
> 5.    42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
> 6.    99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
> 7.    I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
> 8.    You have the right to remain silent.  Anything you say will be
> misquoted, then used against you.
> 9.    I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
> 10.    Honk if you love peace and quiet.
> 11.    Remember, half the people you know are below average.
> 12.    Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it
> remains?
> 13.    Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
> 14.    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
> 15.    He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
> 16.    Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
> 17.    Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
> 18.    The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
> cheese.
> 19.    I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
> 20.    I intend to live forever--so far so good.
> 21.    Borrow money from a pessimist--they don't expect it back.
> 22.    If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
> 23.    Mind like a steel trap--rusty and illegal in 37 states.
> 24.    Quantum mechanics:  The dreams stuff is made of.
> 25.    The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
> 26.    Support bacteria--they're the only culture some people have.
> 27.    When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and
> going the wrong direction.
> 28.    If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you
> tried.
> 29.    A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
> 30.    Experience is something you don't get until just after you need
> it.
> 31.    For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
> 32.    Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
> 33.    Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
> 34.    No one is listening until you make a mistake.
> 35.    Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
> 36.    the colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on
> it.
> 37.    The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness
> of the bread.
> 38.    The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability
> to reach it.
> 39.    To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many
> is research.
> 40.    To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your
> principles.
> 41.    Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
> 42.    You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
> 43.    Two wrongs are only the beginning.
> 44.    The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
> 45.    The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch
> up.
> 46.    A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
> 47.    Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
> 48.    Get a new car for your spouse.  It'll be a great trade!
> 49.    Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
> 50.    Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
> 51.    If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
> 52.    How many of you believe in telekinesis?  Raise my hand...
> 53.    Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
> 54.    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.