>
> I was poking through a couple of my pimpology manuals and found a
> couple of things that seem to address the issues you are raising.
> Please point to anything that hits the bulls-eye below.
>
> Click the play button quickly before password thingy comes up;
>
http://katieakemi.imeem.com/music/oXLosnPk/ugly/
>
> WOMEN'S SOCIAL SKILLS
>
> Grammar's study of modern courtship showed that women are socially
> more astute than men. They orchestrate social interactions so
> skillfully that they can control their date, even when the man
> believes he is running the show. The view that women arc more verbal
> than men is more than a stereotype. Women score higher on verbal
> tests, speak more words in a day, are quicker to verbal aggression,
> are more articulate, get verbal responses out rapidly, have more
> friends, and spend longer amounts of time speaking to them on the
> telephone. Moreover, when women talk, they reveal more intimate and
> meaningful information about themselves. Women are better listeners.
> They tend not to let their attention wander in the middle of a long
> story. They are more willing to offer comfort to another person a sex
> difference in empathy that is present even in young children.
>
> Women are more skilled in reading and using body language. countless
> laboratory experiments have showed that they are more skilled at
> reading facial expressions and detecting nonverbal signs of lying, for
> example. This research backs up the findings of field studie on
> courtship interactions.
>
> Psychologists often point to different childhood influences in order
> to explain why women have better interpersonal skills. They argue that
> giving a doll to a little girl and giving a tool set to a little boy
> conveys important messages about the kind of skills each needs to
> develop. While this may be true, it is also true that boys and girls
> differ in their inclinations regardless of how they are treated, a
> point already made for the development of aggression in boys. Parents
> who strive to inculcate nonviolence in their sons by keeping them away
> from violent toys and violent TV are often alarmed to discover that
> the boys imaginatively turn common objects into weapons of
> destruction. Sticks are guns or spears. Pine cones are hand grenades.
> Sex differences in aggression are largely due to biology, as already
> pointed out, but upbringing does accen- tuate them, as happens in
> warlike societies. Sex differences in social skills may also reflect
> evolved differences.
>
> Thus, women's abilities to entice and manipulate men in a dating
> context would have helped to ensure male support for their children.
> In the past, they may not have had much personal interest in striving
> for political power and social status, but they were attracted to men
> who had these qualities and therefore acquired them by association. In
> other words, a woman who succeeded in marrying a high-ranking man
> acquired high social status for herself. Even today, when women's
> earning power immediately after college is almost equivalent to that
> of men, they still express the same emotional needs that helped them
> to obtain paternal in vestment in the evolutionary past.
>
> The Science of Romance - by Nigel Barber
>
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1573929700/
>
> Once a high-self-esteem male is married, he may not be notable for his
> devotion. Presumably his various assets still make philandering a
> viable lifestyle, even if it's now covert. (And you never know when an
> outside escapade will take on a life of its own, and lead to
> desertion.) Men with more moderate self-esteem may make more
> committed, if otherwise less desirable, husbands. With fewer chances
> at extramarital dalliance, and perhaps more insecurity about their own
> mate's fidelity, they may focus their energy and attention toward
> family. Meanwhile, men with extremely low self-esteem, given continued
> frustration with women, may eventually resort to rape. There is
> ongoing debate within evolutionary psychology over whether rape is an
> adaptation, a designed strategy that any boy might grow up to adopt,
> given sufficiently discouraging feedback from his social environment.
> Certainly rape surfaces in a wide variety of cultures, and often under
> the expected circumstances: when men have had trouble finding
> attractive women by legitimate means. One (non-Darwinian) study found
> the typical rapist to possess "deep-seated doubts about his adequacy
> and competency as a person. He lacks a sense of confidence in himself
> as a man in both sexual and nonsexual areas."
>
> A second sort of light shed by the new Darwinian paradigm may
> illuminate links between poverty and sexual morality. Women living in
> an environment where few men have the ability and/or desire to support
> a family might naturally grow amenable to sex without commitment.
> (Often in history -- including Victorian England -- women in the
> "lower classes" have had a reputation for loose morals.) It is too
> soon to assert this confidently, or to infer that inner-city sexual
> mores would change markedly if income levels did. But it is
> noteworthy, at least, that evolutionary psychology, with its emphasis
> on the role of environment, may wind up highlighting the social costs
> of poverty, and thus at times lend strength to liberal policy
> prescriptions, defying old stereotypes of Darwinism as right-wing.
>
> The Moral Animal - by Robert Wright
>
http://www.amazon.com/Moral-Animal-Robert-Wright/dp/0349107041/
>
http://www.scribd.com/doc/104142/Robert-Wright-The-Moral-Animal
>
> MALE SEXUAL PSYCHOLOGY AND RAPE
>
> The Science of Romance - by Nigel Barber
>
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1573929700/
>
> Given the enormous legal penalties exacted on rapists, it is a
> surprisingly common crime. It is estimated that 15 percent of college
> women experience date rape. Fourteen percent of wives are raped by
> their own husbands. About one woman in four has been sexually abused
> as a child. The lifetime incidence of rape may be as high as one woman
> in three. The tendency to commit rape is apparently more common than
> we would like to believe. When asked whether they would commit rape in
> a setting where there was no possibility of adverse consequences,
> approximately one-third of American college males admit that they
> would commit this crime. Since it is very socially undesirable to
> admit to such a propensity, it can be suspected that the true number
> may be considerably higher.
>
> What if the evil propensity to commit rape were due to genes? Men who
> commit rape would be inseminating women. If this contributes to their
> reproductive success, then the number of copies of "rapist" genes
> would increase in future generations. The bottom line would be that
> all men are rapists because their genes were making them do it. This
> is a chilling thought; however, it is not scientifically valid for a
> number of reasons.
>
> Forcible sexual intercourse is a rather common reproductive strategy
> among males of other species, but not among humans. In the case of
> ducks, males and females pair up during the breeding season in what
> appears to be the monogamous relationship seen in 60 percent of birds.
> However, the males are merely guarding females from the sexual
> encroachment of neighboring males who are always willing to engage in
> forcible copulation. We know this because as soon as the eggs are
> fertilized, the male deserts and attempts to set up another family.
>
> Forcible intercourse is taken a step further by scorpion flies. The
> male scorpion fly may use different mating tactics. The consensual
> approach involves "buying" sexual access with a piece of food. the
> nuptial gift. Alternatively, the male may bind to the female with
> specialized claspers and inseminate her without her consent. These
> claspers have no known function outside of copulation and when they
> are experimentally inactivated, forcible intercourse is no longer
> possible. In the case of scorpion flies, rape is a reproductive
> strategy and this explains the specialized clasping appendages.
>
> Forcible rape occurs also among primates. It is fairly common for
> orangutans. The rapist is usually a subadult male and these attacks
> can be quite violent, with the female being struck and bitten. Females
> normally consent to mate only with fully adult males. There is
> controversy about whether forcible copulations can produce offspring,
> however.
>
> Men do not have any specialized adaptations of anatomy or physiology
> designed by natural selection to facilitate rape. Neither is there any
> evidence that sexual predation could be a viable reproductive strategy
> in men as it is, for example, among ducks, although this case has been
> made in a recent controversial book by Randy Thornhill. A better
> understanding can be derived from looking at the potential
> reproductive benefits compared to the costs of rape. In the normal
> course of events, the costs are too high and the reproductive benefits
> too low for rape to be a viable strategy. This calculus is reversed
> during war and social upheaval, however.
>
> Instead of seeing rape as a reproductive strategy, it is probably
> better to view it as an extreme manifestation of the sexual
> assertiveness that is typical of men. In all societies, rape is
> treated as a serious crime. In our own, it is roughly equal in
> seriousness to manslaughter, carrying a potential life sentence. Many
> subsistence cultures have taken a sterner approach: the rapist is
> killed by irate relatives of the victim. Since a fertile woman may
> have unprotected sex scores of times without becoming pregnant, the
> likelihood of pregnancy from a single act of rape is very low. Given
> that the reproductive costs were normally much greater than the
> potential reproductive gain because rapists were likely to die young
> and childless-rape could not be favored as a primary reproductive
> strategy.
>
> Much of what we know about rape fits in with the view that it can be
> considered a facultative behavior. In other words, under certain
> circumstances, the normal pattern of male sexual pushiness may well
> cross the line into forcible rape. This is a controversial statement,
> but it is supported by the scientific evidence.
>
> First, it is important to establish that rape is a sexual crime. It is
> not simply the manifestation of a desire to hurt, control, frighten,
> or humiliate women, although these motives may certainly coexist with
> sexual motives. It is true that there is a small minority of sadistic
> rapes, which receive a lot of publicity, where nonsexual motives
> apparently predominate. These crimes have no more in common with the
> majority of rapes than serial killings have with the majority of
> murders. The perpetrators are a highly abnormal subgroup of the male
> population.
>
> The view that rape is essentially an act of political terrorism
> through which all men frighten and control women was advocated by
> feminist Susan Brownmiller in her book Against Our Will. The primary
> motive for rape is not political but sexual, however. The strongest
> evidence for this comes from an analysis of the demographics of rape
> victims. IfBrownmiller's view were correct, then we should expect all
> women, regardless of age, to be potential victims. The data show a
> very different picture. Young women in their early twenties are much
> more likely to be rape victims. Data for twenty-six U.S. cities found
> that women were six times as likely to be victims between the ages of
> sixteen and twenty-four years as they were at the ages of twelve to
> fifteen years or thirty-five to forty-nine years. Since the age of
> highest victimization is also the age of maximal sexual
> attractiveness, because women of this age are right at the beginning
> of their plateau of high fertility, it is clear that women are being
> targeted because of their sexual attractiveness. It could be argued
> that young women of this age go out more and are more likely to be out
> late at night, for example, making them more vulnerable to attack and
> thus providing an alternative explanation for the observed age
> pattern, but this argument is not supported by the evidence. Other
> violent crimes against women, such as homicides, did not reveal a
> similar age pattern. The vulnerability of young women to rape cannot
> be explained in terms of greater likelihood of encountering the
> perpetrators. They are selectively targeted because of their physical
> attractiveness. Although women are raped at all ages, their likelihood
> of victimization is much lower after the age of forty. This pattern
> has been observed repeatedly in different studies.
>
> While rape victims are most likely to be young attractive women, who
> are thus desirable to most men, perpetrators are often highly
> unappealing in terms of appearance and social status, although men of
> all social strata commit rape. They tend to be young (although the age
> range is wide) and to have low social status, which means that highly
> desirable women are not available to them by lawful means. Since
> attractive women elicit their sexual desire without the possibility of
> legitimate sexual access, rapists may feel frustrated and angry and
> may vent these emotions on their victims.
>
> The role of low social status and consequent rejection by attractive
> women was stressed by one (repeat) rapist in accounting for his
> actions:
>
> "I wanted this particular type of person she was a college girlbut I
> felt that my social station would make her reject me. And I just
> didn't feel that I would be able to make this person. 1 didn't know
> how to go about meeting her. Anyway, I waited one night until she had
> gone to bed. After the lights were out, I just went into the window.
> She was frightened, of course, and I took advantage of her fright and
> raped her".
>
> This account emphasizes the desirability of the victim and her
> inaccessibility to the rapist by socially acceptable channels. It
> suggests that rape is more likely among men who have no other options
> for having sex with highly desirable women. Such men would be least
> sensitive to the very great costs associated with the crime and most
> sensitive to its benefits. For men who normally have more sexual
> access to women, rape is likely to occur only when the costs are very
> much diminished, something which often occurs with the collapse of
> civil order during warfare. The motivation for rape within marriage is
> obscure, however. It might reflect a conflict of interest over
> frequency of intercourse or it might indeed be perpetrated to
> humiliate and terrorize the victim.
>
> Evolutionary psychology is not only useful in explaining the
> characteristics of rapists and victims and the circumstances under
> which rape is most likely to occur (thereby providing indispensable
> information for those who work to prevent rape), but it also helps us
> to understand the feelings of the victims. A single woman who is raped
> may experience a severe loss of desirability as a bride in many
> cultures of "honor." Even if she does not become pregnant, her social
> standing and ability to make a desirable marriage can be severely
> compromised. In that sense, something is taken away by force that
> cannot be replaced.
>
> This also applies to the psychological impact of rape. Rape victims
> are likely to experience posttraumatic stress disorder. It is
> estimated that some of the symptoms of posttraumatic stress show up in
> 95 percent of women who have been raped within two weeks of the
> attack. The symptoms include difficulty in sleeping, flashbacks to the
> traumatic event which occur during sleep in the form of nightmares,
> constant vigilance and anxiety, difficulty resuming normal sexual
> behavior, and a general sense of numbness and detachment from other
> people that can disrupt friendships and other intimate relationships.
> The severity and persistence of the symptoms is related to the
> violence of the attack. After six years, three quarters of the victims
> say that they have recovered. However, for about one-sixth of victims,
> posttraumatic stress syndrome is still present seventeen years later
> and has evidently developed into the chronic form seen in combat
> veterans. The psychological effects of rape can therefore be as great
> as any other stressor to which a person may be exposed in their
> lifetime.
>
> The Science of Romance - by Nigel Barber
>
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1573929700/
>
