On May 15, 9:44Â am, "Xan"
home.com> wrote:> As a solipsist - I am aware that no one else exists apart from me.
> The world around me is relative only to me - and only exists according to me
> and I designed my life and my existence in order to temporarily forget the
> sadness of being alone.
Of course, the perception of sadness of being alone is also of your
making.
>
> You would think - given the opportunity to design and create my own life and
> my own existence - I would create a world where I was loved and popular -
> and where I loved many - and where maybe I was some kind of star or hero.
All images you mention are also based on illusions.
>
> I used to do this at first.
> But the devastation when finding out that people I had loved were not real -
> and the let down that all circumstances were only invented and I was no star
> or hero.
It was absolutely not the fact that they were not real, but they were
under the same illusions as you. The let down goes much deeper into
the solopsistic state, being that we are each far greater than we
imagine, when we are at such a stage. That stage were we attract
people who have mutual needs in the destruction of such illusions. As
I am always saying, we have to know what it isnt first...
>
> As time passed I learnt to invent worlds where I loved and liked people less
> and less. Â This way the sadness of finding out that I had only invented them
> and that they were not real was less. Â I began to invent worlds where I
> suffered. Â Trying to make the sadness better that no world really existed -
> in the hope of almost being pleased that no world really existed.
This is a significant initiation stage, we all have an appointment
with. We consolidate our awareness of what is not real.
>
> I began to teach myself to hate people. Â I arranged circumstances to make
> them behave in such a way that I would hate them. By hating them then there
> was far less sadness in finding they were not real. Â I even began to make
> monsters out of people - in the hope that I would almost be pleased that
> there was no other life apart from me.
The condition is recognisable. "Ill get them befor they get me."
>
> The only consolation and compensation for a life of suffering - where I
> learn to hate people is that for a while I may forget that I am alone.
> That all that is around me - I invented myself - as a means of spending a
> few years without the sadness.
> The idea that this scenario does end one day.
> And I find myself back where I have always been.
> Alone.
It is this stage were you then attract the individual who has also
been through similar initiations.
>
> Although I invented the Borg - I know none of them individually as I did
> humans. Â I hate all humans which is good. Â But I love the Borg - but only as
> the Borg - and not as the unique individual humans with character I once
> created who I once loved so much and was so devastated after the years spent
> with them to find were not real and that I had invented them.
The creation was based on a reality that actually does exist. Our
whole reason for being.
>
> Does it get easier over time? Â To once again after the few years of delusion
> to find that I am alone?
One of the great illusions is the belief that it is "about time" We
hear it often "Its about time you.... blah blah"
It is infact about realization.
How much time does it take for the individual to recognise they are
causing their own accellarated demise? Bad eating/ no exercise etc.?
They know as soon as the symptoms start, and then it is a repeat
prescripton. Like the 'fitness shift', it takes self discipline to get
yourself on track, which of course, is part of the qualification to
meet another, also at the same level of motivation.
>
> Well the scenarios get more sensible. Â I do not create love affairs where I
> find that someone I loved so much does not exist. Â Families and friends are
> now selfish ugly people who I do not like - and this is easier than the
> tears of finding they do not really exist.
I hope my explaination hits home. Bear in mind, that you do not create
love affairs. Love affairs create you,(even illusiary ones) and it is
an ongoing process. Just knowing this takes you to a 'place' that is
far greater than the place you thought you were, befor such knowing.
>
> But I never give up hope.
> That one day - one day.
> Someone - somewhere - that there may be one other person who does exist.
There is nothing at any level of existence that isnt in harmony with
its opposite.
We are each the ultimate in existence. The trials and tribulations we
go through to take us to the ultimate experience is worth every tear.
For it is the tears that help to wash away the illusions.
We have to know ourself, to know another.Our ulti-mate destiny.
BOfL
> Xan
