> Philosophical jokes :
>
> 1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get
> married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was
> excellent.
>
> 2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost
> my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?"
> The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
>
> 3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,
> "I'll serve you but don't start anything."
>
> 4. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry,
> we don't serve food in here."
>
> 5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
>
> 6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his
> arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
>
> 7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:
> "Does this taste funny to you?"
>
> 8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of
> Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it
> common?" "It's Not Unusual."
>
> 9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy
> says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this
> morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no
> bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
>
> 10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids
> were nothing to look at either.
>
> 11. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull
> before.
>
> 12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My
> dog's cross-eyed, is there any thing you can do for him?"
> "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he
> picks the dog up and examines his eyes. Finally, he says,
> "I'm going to have to put him down." "Why?? Because he's
> cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."
>
> 13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but
> I couldn't find any.
>
> 14. I went to the butcher's the other day and bet him 50
> bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He
> said, "No, the steaks are too high."
>
> 16. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He
> shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor
> replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
>
> 17. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
>
> 18. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when
> they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you
> can't have your kayak and heat it too.
>
> 19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
>
> 20. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar
> tender here?"