> <
> Please note that I'm ALIVE AND WELL and not dead yet.
> <
> All those News Bulletins yesterday about my sudden passing were
> slightly exaggerated.
> <
> You can be sure, when I see Nurse Ratched, I'm going
> to grab her around the neck, just like Jack Nicholson
> did when he tried to choke her in in "One Flew Over..."
> <
> ===============================
> ===============================
> <
> THIS IS WHAT THE BASTARD WROTE...
> <
> This is Nurse Ratched and, believe me, I've had
> one HORRIBLE night.
> <
> Ed Conrad died at 4:20 this morning and, quite
> frankly, he was a raving lunatic before he finally
> packed it in.
> <
> I've already phoned the Obit Desk at the New
> york Times, Philadelphia Inquirer and Hazleton
> Standard-Speaker but, personally, I don't think
> they give two shits. I doubt they'll even mention
> him in one line of agate.
> <
> Anyway, out of courtesy to the rotten, sarcastic
> SOB who has long made a mockery of our most
> revered institutions, I'm about to push the
> send his very last nasty Internet message.
> <
> ============
> <
> ED CONRAD'S LAST WILL & TESTAMENT
> <
> Ed's dead, you said!
> I hope it's true.
> It's time for celebration
> He's squeezed our balls
> 'Til black and blue
> And I've run out of medication.
> <
>
> <
> Man-like Whale May Be Our Missing Link
>
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/SaveTheWhale.jpg
> <
> =========================
> =========================
> <
> Actually, I was laying there on a cold slab in the embalming room --
> dressed like a new-born babe --
> when an alert attendant noticed my blue lips
> quivering from the freakin' Ice House they had
> me in.
> <
> Only then did he realize I was STILL ALIVE.
> <
> May I state emphatically that I'm very happy to be back among the
> living and I will continue to fire cannonballs
> at evolutionists, corrupt scientists and scientific institutions as
> well as deep-=pocket politicians.
> <
> They include brain-dead opposition to my discovery
> of petrified remains -- SOME HUMAN -- between coal veins, and the
> deceit, deception, collusion and conspiracy that surrounds us,
> including the REAL
> terrorists responsible for 911,
> <
> Meanwhile, during my brief stay on The Other Side,
> I have to say I received quite an education.
> <
> For one thing, I've learned that God doesn't give
> damn about our "sins." Actually, He had forgiven
> us for everything we do, even before we were
> even born.
> <
> But, make no mistake, we WILL be judged in the hereafter for the evil
> we do -- but NOT by God. Instead, we'll be judged by our fellow man,
> the people we dealt with while in our physical existence.
> <
> I also learned that NOBODY burns in Hell. The real
> hell is being ostracized by those you knew so well
> on earth, especially members of your own family,
> who will be aware that you gave -- or tried to give
> -- them a good screwing.
> <
> Consequently, they won't allow you to get anywhere
> near them on The Other Side and, often, the pain will
> be a lot worse than hell, especially when you're
> shunned by members of your own family,
> <
> I've also learned that Heaven IS NOT a place of incredible splendor
> and The Big Boss is almost never
> close by. See, He's smart enough to know we'd figure he'd be looking
> over our shoulder all the time, so we'd always be as nervous as a cat
> out of fear of doing something wrong.
> <
> Heaven actually is being in the company of your loved
> ones -- your grandmas and grandpas, moms and dads, brothers and
> sisters, kids and grandkids. Also, there will be other loving people
> there -- your dear friends, your pleasant co-workers, even the
> friendly neighbors down the street whose last name you might not even
> have known.
> <
> The list will include all those whose company you
> enjoyed and who made you content, happy and comfortable during your
> short stay on earth.
> <
> Heaven is NOT some golden castle high in the sky.
> But it certainly will be A LOT BETTER than you
> ever dreamed it could be.
> <
> ==========================
> <
>> PROOF OF LIFE AFTER DEATH
>> Life Doesn't End When We "Die"
>> MAN AS OLD AS COAL
>> A Revolution in Evolution
>> SOME NEWSPAPERS IN CANADA
> Brandon Sun, The
> Brantford Expositor, The (Brantford, Ontario)
> Brockville Recorder and Times
> Calgary Herald (Calgary, Alberta)
> Calgary Sun, The
>
Canada.com
> Canada NewsWire (Ontario, Mississauga)
> Canadian Press and Broadcast News
> Canoe - "Canadian Online Explorer"
> Cape Breton Post (Sydney, Nova Scotia)
> Cranbrook Daily Townsman (Cranbrook, British Columbia)
> Daily Gleaner Online (Fredericton, New Brunswick)
> Daily Graphic (Portage La Prairie)
> Daily Herald Tribune (Grande Prairie, Alberta)
> Daily Miner & News (Kenora)
> Le Devoir (Quebec, Montreal)
> LeDroit (Ontario, Ottawa) (French)
> Edmonton Journal (Edmonton, Alberta)
> Edmonton Sun, The
> eye Weekly (Ontario, Toronto)
> First Perspective (Manitoba, Scanterbury)
> Fort McMurray Today
> Gazette, The (Montreal)
> Gazette, The (Ontario, London)
> Globe and Mail (Toronto, Ontario)
> Halifax Herald Ltd. (Halifax, Nova Scotia)
> Hamilton Spectator (Hamilton, Ontario)
> Le Soleil (Quebec City) (French)
> Lakeshore Advance (Grand Bend, Ontario)
> Kamloops Daily News (Kamloops, British Columbia)
> Kingston Whig Standard (Kingston, Ontario)
> Kitchener-Waterloo Record, The (Kitchener-Waterloo, Ontario)
> La Tribune, Sherbrooke (French)
> Le Matin (Quebec) (French)
> Le Quotidien (French)
> London Free Press (London, Ontario)
> Merritt Herald (Merritt, British Columbia)
> Muse, The (Newfoundland)
> National Post
> New Brunswick Times & Journal (New Brunswick)
> New Winnipeg (Winnipeg)
> Niagara Falls Review (Ontario, Niagara Falls)
> North Shore News (Vancouver, British Columbia)
> Nunatsiaq News, The (Iqaluit)
> Oliver Chronicle (Oliver, British Columbia)
> Ottawa Citizen Online (Ottawa, Ontario)
> Ottawa Sun, The
> Owen Sound Sun Times (Owen Sound)
> Peterborough Examiner (Peterborough)
> Plan? Qu?c (Quebec) (French)
> Prince George Citizen
> Prince Rupert Daily News (Prince Rupert, British Columbia)
> Quebec Chronicle-Telegraph, The (Quebec)
> Record, The (British Columbia, Gold River)
> Regina Leader-Post
> Saint John Telegraph Journal (Saint John)
> Sault Star, The (Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario)
> Telegram, The (Newfoundland, St. John's)
> Timmins Daily Press, The (Timmins, Ontario)
> Toronto Star (Ontario, Toronto)
> Toronto Sun (Ontario, Toronto)
> Vancouver Province (Vancouver, British Columbia)
> Vancouver Sun (Vancouver, British Columbia)
> Western Producer (Saskatoon)
> Windsor Star [Windsor, Ontario]
> Winnipeg Free Press (Winnipeg, Manitoba)
> Whistler Pique Newsmagazine (Whistler)
> <
>> A FEW NEWSPAPERS IN MEXICO
> Cambio de Michoacan (Michoacan)
> La Chronica de Hoy
> Diario de Chihuahua (Chihuahua, Chihuahua)
> EL Diario de Yucatan (Merida)
> El Informador (Guadalajara)
> El Informador (Jalisco, Guadalajara)
> El Siglo de Torreon (Torre??Coah)
> Excelsior
> La Jornada (Mexico City)
> El Norte
> El Sur de Campeche
> Reforma
> Tribuna de Campeche
> Universal
> <
>> A FEW NEWSPAPERS IN AUSTRALIA
> Age, The (Victoria, Melbourne)
> Australian Financial Review (Sydney)
> Australian, The (Sydney)
> Border Mail, The (New South Wales, Albury)
> Bryon Shire Echo, The (New South Wales, Byron Bay)
> Canberra Times (Canberra)
> Courier Mall (Queensland)
> Cumberland Newspapers
> Daily Telegraph (New South Wales)
> Gold Coast Bulletin, The (Queensland)
> Herald Sun (Melbourne)
> Mercury, The (Tasmania, Hobart)
> Sunday Herald Sun (Melbourne)
> Sunday Mail, The (Queensland)
> Sunday Times, The
> Sunday Tasmanian, The (Tasmania, Hobart)
> Sydney Morning Herald Sun (Sydney)
> Warrnambool Standard (Victoria)
> Weekly Times, The (Victoria)
> West Australian, The (Western Australia, Perth)
> <
>> AUSTRALIA
> Age, The (Victoria, Melbourne)
> Australian Financial Review (Sydney)
> Australian, The (Sydney)
> Border Mail, The (New South Wales, Albury)
> Bryon Shire Echo, The (New South Wales, Byron Bay)
> Canberra Times (Canberra)
> Courier Mall (Queensland)
> Cumberland Newspapers
> Daily Telegraph (New South Wales)
> Gold Coast Bulletin, The (Queensland)
> Herald Sun (Melbourne)
> Mercury, The (Tasmania, Hobart)
> Sunday Herald Sun (Melbourne)
> Sunday Mail, The (Queensland)
> Sunday Times, The
> Sunday Tasmanian, The (Tasmania, Hobart)
> Sydney Morning Herald Sun (Sydney)
> Warrnambool Standard (Victoria)
> Weekly Times, The (Victoria)
> West Australian, The (Western Australia, Perth)
> <
>> A FEW NEWSPAPERS IN NEW ZEALAND
> Allied Press Limited (Dunedin)
> InfoTech Weekly Online (Wellington)
> New Zealand Herald
> NewsRoom (Wellington)
> Otago Daily Times (Dunedin)
> Press, The (Christchurch City)
> Wairarapa Times-Age
> Wellington Newspaers / NZ Infotech Weekly
> <
>> THE ONLY NEWSPAPER IN ANTARCTICA
> New South Polar Times
> <
> SOME WORLD NEWSPAPERS
>> JAPAN
>
>
> Asahi Shimbun / Asahi Evening News (Tokyo)
> Chunichi Shimbun, The (Nagoya)
> Daily Yomiuri, The (Yomiuri)
> European and Pacific Stars and Stripes
> Hokkaido Shimbun
> Hokkoku Shimbun (Kanazawa City)
> Japan Times (Tokyo)
> Kyodo News
> Kyoto Shimbun
> Mainichi Shimbun (Osaka)
> Nihon Keizai Shimbun
> Toyama Shimbun
> Yamanashi Nichinichi
> Yomiuri Shimbun (Tokyo)
>
>> CHINA
>
>
> Apple Daily
> Asian Wall Street Journal
> China Daily
> China News Digest
> China News Services
> China Online
> Guangzhou Morning Post
> Hong Kong Commercial Daily
> Hong Kong Standard
> Inside China Today
> Latelinenews
> People's Daily
> Shanghai Daily
> Sing Tao Electronic Daily (Hong Kong)
> South China Morning Post (Hong Kong)
> Ta Kung Pao
> Xinhua News Service
>
>> INDIA
>
>
> Ananda Vikatan
> Andhra Pradesh Times
> Asian Age, The
> Business Standard
> Deccan Chronicle
> Deccan Herald
> Deepika Daily
> Dinamani Tamil Daily
> Economic Times, The
> Hindu, The
> Hindu Business Line, The
> Hindustan Times , The
> India Daily
> India Express
> Kaumudi
> Naidunia-Indore
> News India-Times On the Web
> Pioneer, The
> Rediff
> Statesman, The
> Telegraph, The
> Times of India, The
> Tribune, The
>> FRANCE
> L'Alsace Journal (Alsace)
> Le Bien Public (Bourgogne)
> Charente Libre (Charente)
> Le Courrier de Mantes (Mantes)
> Le Courrier Picard (Picardie)
> La D?che du Midi
> Dernieres Nouvelles d'Alsace (Alsace)
> Les Echos
> L'Est R?blicain (Nancy)
> Le Figaro (Paris)
> France-Amerique (Paris)
> International Herald Tribune (English) (Paris)
> Le Monde (Paris)
> Le Monde Diplomatique (France)
> Le Telegramme - Bretagne On Line (Brittany)
> Liberation (Paris)
> Monaco Actualite (Monaco)
> Nice-Matin (Nice)
> Le Nouvel Observateur (Paris)
> Ouest France (Brittany, Rennes)
> Le Parisien (Paris)
> Le R?blicain Lorrain (Lorraine, Metz)
> Regards (Paris)
> Sud Oest (Aquitaine, Bordeaux)
> La Tribune (Paris)
> Voix du Nord
> ITALY
>
> Alto Adige (Bolzano)
> Brescia Oggi (Brescia)
> Il Centro (Abruzzo, Pescara)
> Chiamami Citt?/a> (Rimini)
> Corriere del Giorno (Taranto)
> Corriere della Sera
> Dolomiten
> L'Eco di Bergamo (Bergamo)
> Il Foglio
> Gazzetta de Mantova (Mantova)
> Gazzetta di Reggio (Reggio)
> Giornale (Bologna)
> Internazionale
> Il Giornale di Vicenza (Vicenza)
> Il Manifesto (Rome)
> L'Arena (Verona)
> La Nazione (Florence)
> Nuova Ferrara (Ferrara)
> La Nuova Sardegna (Sassari)
> La Nuova Venezia (Venezia)
> Il Piccolo di Trieste (Trieste)
> La Provincia Pavese (Pavia, Pavia)
> La Repubblica
> Il Resto del Carlino (Bologna)
> La Stampa (Turin)
> Il Tirreno (Livorno)
> La Tribuna di Treviso (Treviso)
> L'Unione Sarda (Cagliari)
hi
