> Suicide Isn’t Painless
> It Hurts Like Hell
> It’s Set Aside For The Famous
> A Little Suicide Sells
> Well Nothing Lasts Forever
> And Nothing Ever Did
> It’s Big But It’s Not Clever
> And It’s Really Not That Big
> So No More Tears
> You’re A Big Boy Now
> Let’s Have A Few More Beers
> We’ll Work It Out Some How
>
> (Morrison/Carter) , From the album Post Historic Monsters by Carter
> USM
>
> As I write this, I’m recovering from a failed suicide attempt. I am
> receiving psychiatric treatment, which appears to be working. Like
> many people in my situation, the experience has renewed my faith. I
> could have died, but I didn’t- was some higher power looking out for
> me- was something telling me “it’s not my time yet”?
>
> The experience led me to ponder over the Book Of Revelations. My
> personal interpretation of this text helped me to reach the following
> “conclusions”.
>
> The physical world will eventually end, and everybody eventually will
> die. It is not a question of “if” but one of “when”.
>
> The final battle, “Armageddon” is a battle for personal integrity, or
> the fight for one’s true self.
>
> It is never too early and never too late to begin this fight.
>
> Everybody living is in the process of dying. As we age, our DNA
> shortens as cells divide, till eventually cells are unable to
> reproduce and our body ages and dies. Everything that is made out of
> matter will similarly decay until one day it returns to its
> constituent elements. Old stars, including our own Sun, eventually
> disappear into black holes and new ones are created. This is not
> religious speculation, but generally accepted science.
>
> What do people desire most? If I had one wish, I think it would be “I
> wish I was me!”. Not in slavery to anybody. Not in financial or
> emotional debt to anybody. Not addicted to any substance. Not
> imprisoned by my sex drive. To be able to relate to and empathize with
> all people, whatever their physical manifestation or viewpoint. Men
> and women are enslaved, in my opinion, not by the powerful or any
> other human master, but by their own minds. We make value judgments,
> and tend to project our own thoughts on to others, thus bringing
> ourselves into conflict with others. Thus we build our own “cocoons”,
> which become our jails.
>
> The line “wake up, strengthen what remains”, leaps out at me from the
> Book of Revelations. Remains of what? Integrity seems the obvious
> answer. We all have a tendency to “sell out” our core beliefs- just
> look at the world of politics! How many times do we make
> “procrastination decisions”- where we take the “easiest” short term
> solution? For an alcoholic, this might mean having a drink- when one
> is in this situation one can say “I’ll stop tomorrow”- and come
> tomorrow we simply repeat this statement.
> Besides giving up bad habits, there are many other ways in which we
> can strengthen our integrity. We can put aside more time for our
> family, friends and colleagues. We can learn new skills and hobbies.
> We can fight for a cause which is close to our hearts. We can improve
> our physical and mental health by exercise and meditation.
>
> In the Second World War, when the allied troops were being evacuated
> from Dunkirk, many must have wondered whether the war could ever be
> won. But somehow those soldiers managed to keep their spirits up, and
> were rewarded with victory a few years later. For every “darkest hour”
> follows a “finest hour”. We must resist the temptation to give up,
> remembering that success may always be hiding around the corner. Stay
> true to our true selves, and good things can only happen, and will do
> so in their own time!
>
> www.positiveparty.blogspot.com
>
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