> (Note: the person posting this message does not agree with the
> nihilistic viewpoint that follows -- but he does find the expression
> of it amusing.... :)
>
> "Deteriorata" is a famous parody of San Francisco radio and television
> personality Les Crane's spoken word recording of Desiderata . It was
> written by Tony Hendra and recorded by National Lampoon as part of
> their National Lampoon Radio Dinner album of 1972.
>
> The parody earned a great deal of cultural significance and popularity
> as a frequent presentation on the Dr. Demento radio show. Les Crane
> himself admitted to preferring this version over his Grammy-winning
> recording of the original poem.
>
> [from:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deteriorata ]
>
> Deteriorata
> (National Lampoon)
>
> (You are a fluke of the universe.
> You have no right to be here.
> Deteriorata, Deteriorata)
>
> Go placidly amidst the noise and waste, and remember what comfort
> there may be in owning a piece thereof. Avoid quiet and passive
> persons, unless you are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak
> glowingly of those greater than yourself; and heed well their advice,
> even though they be turkeys. Know what to kiss - and when. Consider
> that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do. Wherever
> possible, put people on hold. Be comforted, that in the face of all
> irridity and disillusionment, and despite the changing fortunes of
> time, there is always a big future in computer maintenance.
>
> (You are a fluke of the universe.
> You have no right to be here.
> Whether you can hear it or not,
> The universe is laughing behind your back.)
>
> Remember the Pueblo. Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and
> mutilate. Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI. Exercise
> caution in your daily affairs, especially with those persons closest
> to you... That lemon on your left, for instance. Be assured that a
> walk through the seas of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet.
> Fall not in love, therefore, it will stick to your face. Gracefully
> surrender the things of youth: the birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan -
> and let not the sands of time get in your lunch. Hire people with
> hooks. For a good time, call 606-4311, ask for Ken. Take heart in the
> deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese. And
> reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be
> worse in Milwaukee.
>
> (You are a fluke of the universe.
> You have no right to be here.
> Whether you can hear it or not,
> The universe is laughing behind your back.)
>
> Therefore, make peace with your god, whatever you perceive him to be:
> hairy thunderer** or cosmic muffin. With all its hopes, dreams,
> promises, and urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate. GIVE
> UP!
>
> (You are a fluke of the universe.
> You have no right to be here.
> Whether you can hear it or not,
> The universe is laughing behind your back.)
>
> === end ===
>
> ** Note: some version have "hoary thunderer" here: I prefer such
> versions.
>
> For comparison, a bit about "Desiderata," the writing satirized
> above. It contains many genuinely noble thoughts, in my view. (But
> that doesn't mean we can't satirize it!)
>
> === Wikipedia ===
>
> "Desiderata" (Latin for "desired things", plural of desideratum) is an
> inspirational prose poem about attaining happiness in life. It was
> first copyrighted in 1927 by Max Ehrmann.
>
> In the 1960s, it was widely circulated without attribution to Ehrmann,
> sometimes with the claim that it was found in Saint Paul's Church,
> Baltimore, Maryland, and that it had been written in 1692 (the year of
> the founding of Saint Paul's). Nevertheless, the estate of Ehrmann has
> kept various editions of the work in print. A spoken-word recording of
> the essay was made by Les Crane and reached #8 on the Billboard
> magazine charts in late 1971....
>
>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desiderata> ==============
>
> Desiderata
>
> Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
> and remember what peace there may be in silence.
> As far as possible without surrender
> be on good terms with all persons.
> Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
> and listen to others,
> even the dull and the ignorant;
> they too have their story.
>
> Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
> they are vexations to the spirit.
> If you compare yourself with others,
> you may become vain and bitter;
> for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
> Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
>
> Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
> it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
> Exercise caution in your business affairs;
> for the world is full of trickery.
> But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
> many persons strive for high ideals;
> and everywhere life is full of heroism.
>
> Be yourself.
> Especially, do not feign affection.
> Neither be cynical about love;
> for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
> it is as perennial as the grass.
>
> Take kindly the counsel of the years,
> gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
> Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
> But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
> Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
> Beyond a wholesome discipline,
> be gentle with yourself.
>
> You are a child of the universe,
> no less than the trees and the stars;
> you have a right to be here.
> And whether or not it is clear to you,
> no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
>
> Therefore be at peace with God,
> whatever you conceive Him to be,
> and whatever your labors and aspirations,
> in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
>
> With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
> it is still a beautiful world.
> Be cheerful.
> Strive to be happy.
>
> === end ===
>
> Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
>
>
http://mwkworks.com/desiderata.html
