>=============================
> EXCLUSIVE UPDATE
>=============================
<
WALLA WALLA, Wash. (Rueters)
-- The latest Presidential candidate
is coming on like Gangbuster, which
is why Republican and Democrats are
sweating their balls off..
Curtis R. Greenwald, founder, president
and chief executive officer of Bots-R-Us,
already has become the frontrunner
of all the Independent candidates.
Greenwald, a rather nice-looking chap
had revealed on Larry King Live a few nights
ago that he was running an independent
and he already has become a buzz word
across America .
"After all, Curt was born in Washington
State and lived there all his life, so he's
really the only candidate who knows
Washington inside out," said Lou Dobbs
on Hardball.
Greenwald, whose integrity is beyond.
reproach, agreed wholeheartedly.
"In fact, when elected, I wouldn't even
have to move East," he stated in a campaign
visit to Shenandoah, Pa., yesterday. "Hell,
in this day and age, you can do almost
everything by cell phone.
"That way, we'll be able to rent out the White
House and charge people an arm and a leg
to make whoopee in the Lincoln bedroom."
<
============================================
<
Larry King interviewing Curtis R. Greenwald
http://www.volpin.it/photogallery/animal/larry-king-live.jpg
<
No photo of Curtis R. Greenwald yet available. So we're
substituting a nice pix of Rush Limbaugh while on his "meds."
http://www.davidfeldmancomedy.com/archives/rush'smugshot.gif
<
============================================
<
Greenwald, founder, president
and chief executive officer of Bots-R-Us,
is internationally known and respected
for inventing bots that are used
in both computers and science textbooks
David Iain Greig, moderator of the
talk.origins news group, explained the
bots' importance to stifling truth.
"These teeny-weeny bots hurry and scurry
across our computer screens and inside
our science textbooks, poisoning minds with
deceit, deception, collusion and conspiracy,"
Greig said. "They've been doing a remarkable
job."
At that point on Larry King Live, Pope
Benedict XVI phoned from the Vatican to ask
Greenwald if he feels even a wee bit guilty
about his role in perpetrating such a monumental
hoax on mankind.
"For money, I'll do anything, Padre," he
responded. "Quite frankly, I'm a whore.
But I'm no different than the other candidates,
either Republican or Democrat.
"The thing is, I'm up front and honest
enough to say so, not like the other candidates.
Thotey'll take it up the rear end behind your back.
But there will be no secrets in MY White
House.
"Indeed, after replacing George Bush,
I'll continue the Presidential tradition of
sleeping with corporate executives seven
nights a week, except Mondays which is
my bowling night and, besides, it's the night
I service my wife.:
"As a Eagle Scout, I'm always prepared
to climb into bed with corporations and, in
fact, I always keep a jar of Vaseline in my glove
compartment."
Greenwald had made no specific campaign
promises to Larry Kingbut said he'll push to
make Iraq our 51st state "so war critics like
Olver Stone can no longer claim American troops
are dying like flies on foreign soil."
He said another priority is to eliminate
America's middle class -- those doing
most of the bitching about the deplorable
economy, which is absolutely true.
"This nation would be divided into only two
categories: the poverty level and the
filthy rich," Greenwald had explained to
Chris Matthews on Meet the Press.
"That would eliminate the middle class and
end a lot of criticism of the government.."
Greenwald, founder, president and chief
executive officer of Bots-R-Us, also said
that while in office he will NOT accept white
envelopes containing lots of green stuff,
instead having the cash wired directly to
his bank in Zurich.
On both Meet the Press and Hardball,
Greenwald received thunderous applause
from studio technicians and the lighting crew
Even the clean-up lady was clapping her
hands like crazy.
"America needs you, Curt," she told him,
seconds after the program went off the air.
"God bless Curtis R. Greenwald. And God
bless America.".
.
> MORE MORE MORE
<
> ========================================
>
< GREATEST CONSPIRACY IN THE HISTORY OF HISTORY
< (A Helluva Lot Worse Than 911)
<
> Petrified Bones, Teeth and Even Soft Organs (Some Human)
> Discovered Between Coal Veins in Pennsylvania.
<
MAN AS OLD AS COAL and PROOF OF LIFE AFTER DEATH
<
======================
<
> SMOKING GUN OF GOVERNMENT 911 CONSPIRACY
>DECLARED PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES
<
> REPUBLICAN PARTY
US Senator Sam Brownback (R-Kansas)
Former Governor Jim Gilmore (R-Virginia)
Former US House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-Georgia)
Former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani (R-New York)
US Senator Chuck Hagel (R-Nebraska)
Former Governor Mike Huckabee (R-Arkansas)
Congressman Duncan Hunter (R-California)
US Senator John McCain (R-Arizona)
Former Governor George Pataki (R-New York)
Congressman Ron Paul (R-Texas)
Former Governor Mitt Romney (R-Massachusetts)
Radio Talk Show Host Michael Savage (R-California)
Congressman Tom Tancredo (R-Colorado)
Former US Senator Fred Thompson (R-Tennessee)
Former Governor Tommy Thompson (R-Wisconsin)
<
> DEMOCRATIC PARTY:
US Senator Joe Biden (D-Delaware)
Former Army General Wes Clark (D-Arkansas)
US Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-New York)
US Senator Chris Dodd (D-Connecitcut)
Former US Senator John Edwards (D-North Carolina)
Former Alaska US Senator Mike Gravel (D-Virginia)
Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio)
US Senator Barack Obama (D-Illinois)
Governor Bill Richardson (D-New Mexico)
Rev. Al Sharpton (D-New York)
<
> INDEPENDENT
Curtis R. Greenwald, founder, president and chief
executive officer of Bots-R-Us
<
> WORLDWIDE NEWS AGENCIES
Associated Press AP
African Eye News Service
Agence France Presse
APTN
Bloomberg
Cable News Network
EFE News
Indo Asian News Service
Iran Press Service
Iranian Students News Agency (ISNA)
Iraq Press
IRIN News
Islamic Republic News Agency (IRNA)
Inter Press Service
Itar-Tass -- Russia
Latin American Press
Middle East News Agency
Pravda -- Russian News and Analysis
Prima News Agency
Reuters
Television News Archive
United Nations News Wire Service
United Press International UPI
Xinhua News Agency -- China
==========
Agence France Press, AFP
Agencia EFE, EFE
Agencia Estado
Agencia Lusa
Agency Telegraphique Belge De Press, AGNECE BELGA
Agenzia Nazionale Stampa Associata, ANSA
Agenzia Giornalistica Italia, AGI
Algemeen Nederlands Persbureau, ANP
Albanian Telegraphic Agency, ATA
Alternativna Informativna Mreza, AIM
Anadolu News Agency
Armanian News Agency, NOYAN TAPAN
ArmenPress
Asbar News Agency
Associated Press, AP
Athens News Agency, APE
ATH news agency - Kharkov, Ukraine
Atlantic News Service
Austria Press-Agentur, APA
Australian Associated Press, AAP
Baltic News Service, BNS
Bolivia Web - News from the ERBOL News Agency
Bulgarian Telegraph Agency, BTA
Canadian Press, CP
Central News Agency, CNA
Ceskolovenska Tiskova Kancelat, CTK
China News Service
COMPASS Media, Inc.
Cubapress
Cyprus News Agency, CNA
Deutsche Presse - Agentur Gmbh , DPA
ELTA - Lithuanian news agency
Eesti Teadete Agentur, ETA
H.K China News Agency
Hrvatska Izvjestajna Novinska Agencija, HINA
Indonesian National News Agency, ANTARA
Interfax News Agency
Islamic Republic News Agency, IRNA
Jiji Press (Jiji Tsushin-Sha)
Korean Central News Agency, KCNA
Kyodo News Service
LETA News Agency
MIA - Macedonian Information Agency
Makfax - Macedonian News Agency
Reality Macedonia
Magyar Tavirati Iroda, MTI
Malaysian National News Agency - BERNAMA
Mediafax - Romanian News Agency
Mercopress News Agency
Montsame News Agency, SABA
New Zealand Press Association, NEPA
Official Jordania News Agency, PETRA
Oman News Agency
Pakistan Press International, PPI
Panafrican News Agency
Polska Agencja Prasowa, PAP
Prensa Latina
Press association
Prime-TASS Economic News Agency
Reuters
Russian Information Agency, Ria "Novosti"
Schweizerische Depeschen Agentur, SDA
Serbian Press Agency, SRNA
Slovene Press Agency, STA
SNARK News Agency
Suomen Tietotoimisto
Tanjug News Agency
Telegrafnoye Agnetstvo Sovietskogo Snyuza, TASS
Tidningranas Talegrambyra, TT
Tlacova agentura Slovenskej republiky, TASR
Vietnam News Agency
Yemen News Agency, SABA
Yonhap News Agency
Xinhua News Agency
<
> WORLD'S LARGEST NEWSPAPERS
Rank Country Circulation
1. Yomiuri Shimbun (Japan) 14,532,694
2. Asahi Shimbun (Japan) 12,601,375
3. Sichuan Ribao (China) 8,000,000
4. Mainichi Shimbun (Japan) 5,845,857
5. Bild (Germany) 5,674,400
6. Chunichi Shimbun (Japan) 4,323,144
7. Sun (England) 3,718,354
8. Renmin Ribao (China) 3,000,000
9. Sankei Shimbun (Japan) 2,890,835
10. Nihon Keizai Shimbun Japan 2,705,877
11. Gongren Ribao (China) 2,500,000
12. Daily Mail (England) 2,387,867
13. Daily Mirror (England) 2,339,001
14. Chosun Ilbo (South Korea) 2,225,000
15. Dong-A Ilbo (South Korea) 2,150,000
16. Hokkaido Shimbun (Japan) 1,962,666
17. Eleftherotypia (Greece) 1,858,316
18. Xin Min Wan Bao (China) 1,750,000
19. Wall Street Journal (U.S.) 1,740,450
20. Yangcheng Wanbao China 1,730,000
21. Kerala Kaumudi (India) 1,720,000
22. Wen Hui Bao Daily (China 1,700,000
23. USA Today (United States) 1,653,428
24. Joong-Ang Ilbo (S. Korea) 1,550,000
25. Economic Daily (China) 1,500,000
26. Rodong Sinmun (N. Korea) 1,500,000
27. Kyung-Hyang Daily News 1,478,537
28. Sports Nippon (Japan) 1,452,699
29. Shizuoka Shimbun (Japan)) 1,442,310
30. Sankei Sports (Japan) 1,367,734
31. Deutche Allgemeine Germ 1,313,400
32. United Daily News (Taiwan ) 1,300,000
33. China Times (Taiwan) 1,270,000
34. O Estado de Sao Paulo Brazil) 1,230,160
35. Jang Daily (Pakistan) 1,200,000
36. Jang Lahore (Pakistan) 1,200,000
37. Akhbar El Yom/Al Akhbar (Egypt) 1,159,339
38. Hankook Ilbo (South Korea) 1,156,000
39. Hochi Shimbun (Japan) 1,119,031
40. Daily Express (England) 1,118,981
41. Los Angeles Times (U.S.) 1,067,540
42. New York Times (U>S) 1,066,540
43. Tokyo Shimbun (Japan 1,062,080
44. Daily Telegraph (England) 1,047,861
45. Nishinippon Shimbun Japan 1,041,104
46. Jiefang Ribao (China) 1,000,000
47. Nanfang Ribao (China) 1,000,000
48. Nongmin Ribao (China) 1,000,000
49. Zhongguo Qingnian Ribao (China) 1,000,000
50. Nikkan Sports (Japan) 984,058
51. Al Akhbar (Egypt) 980,000
52. Guangming Ribao (China) 950,000
53. Al Ahram (Egypt) 900,000
54. Al Goumhouriya (Egypt) 900,000
55. Seoul Shinmun (S. Korea) 900,000
56. Xin Hua Ribao (China) 900,000
57. Verdens Gang (Norway) 870,267
58. Corriere della Sera (Italy) 868,266
59. Kyoto Shimbun (Japan) 839,499
60. Chugoku Shimbun (Japan) 820,000
61 Kobe Shimbun Japan 820,000
62. Times of India (India) 813,000
63. Kobe Shimbun (Japan) 810,353
64. Beijing Wanbao (China) 800,000
65. Hubei Ribao (China) 800,000
66. Jiefangjun Ribao (China) 800,000
67. Trybuna Slaska (Poland) 800,000
68. La Gazzetta dello Sport Italy 798,243
69. Ouest-France (France) 790,133
70. Holos Ukrainy (Ukraine) 768,000
71. The Times (England) 766,999
72. ABC (Spain) 765,668
73. Washington Post (U.SSS>) 759,122
74. La Repubblica (Italy) 754,930
75. De Telegraf (Netherlands) 751,400
76. Gazeta Wyborcza (Poland) 750,000
77. Zero Hora (Brazil) 727,188
78. Diario dos Campos (Brazil) 725,000
79. New York Daily News (U.S.) 723,143
80. Sabah (Turkey) 722,950
81. Jornal da Tarde (Brazil) 709,793
82. Beijing Ribao (China) 700,000
83. Chongqing Ribao (China) 700,000
84. Clarin (Argentina) 700,000
85. Thai Rath (Thailand 700,000
86. Zhejiang Ribao (China) 700,000
87. Diario Insular (Portugal) 684,143
88. Granma Internacional (Cuba) 675,000
89. Chicago Tribune (U.S>) 673,508
90. Daily Record (Scotland) 671,267
91. China Daily News (Taiwan) 670,000
92. The Daily Star (England) 650,406
93. Guangxi Ribao (China) 650,000
94. Malayala Manorama (India) 630,068
95. La Nacion (Argentina) 630,000
96. Hurriyet (Turkey) 615,579
97. Herald Sun (Australia) 600,000
98. Hurriyet (Pakistan) 600,000
99. Liaoning Ribao (China) 600,000
100. Oriental Daily News (Hong Kong) 600,000
<
> 100 LARGEST NEWSPAPERS IN U.S.
Rank Circulation
1. USA Today (Arlington, Va.) 2,154,539
2. Wall Street Journal (NY N.Y.) 2,091,062
3. Times (New York, N.Y.) 1,118,565
4. Times (Los Angeles) 914,584
5. Post (Washington, DC) 732,872
6. Daily News (New York, N.Y.) 729,124
7. Tribune (Chicago) 680,879
8. Post (New York, N.Y.) 652,426
9. Newsday (Long Island, N.Y.) 580,069
10. Chronicle (Houston) 553,018
11. Chronicle (San Francisco) 512,640
12. Morning News (Dallas) 510,133
13. Sun-Times (Chicago) 481,798
14 Globe (Boston) 450,538
15. Arizona Republic (Phoenix) 432,284
16. Star-Ledger (Newark, N.J.) 408,672
17. Star Tribune (Minneapolis) 380,354
18. Inquirer (Philadelphia) 376,493
19. Journal-Constitution (Atlanta) 371,853
20. Plain Dealer (Cleveland) 365,288
21. Free Press (Detroit) 352,714
22. Oregonian (Portland) 342,789
23. Times (St. Petersburg, Fla.) 334,742
24. Union-Tribune (San Diego) 328,531
25. Herald (Miami) 315,850
26. Register Orange County CA 302,864
27. Sun (Baltimore) 301,186
28. Bee (Sacramento, Calif.) 289,905
29. Post (Denver) 288,937
30. Rocky Mtn. News Denver 288,889
31. Post-Dispatch (St. Louis) 285,869
32. Mercury News San Jose CA 271,997
33. Star (Kansas City, Mo.) 267,273
34. Sentinel (Orlando, Fla.) 257,222
35. Times-Picayune N Orleans 253,610
36. Dispatch (Columbus, Ohio) 252,564
37. Star (Indianapolis) 249,891
38. Journal Sentinel Milwaukee 244,288
39. Post-Gazette Pittsburgh Pa 242,546
40. Herald (Boston) 241,457
41. Sun-Sentinel (Ft L'dale, Fla ) 233,634
42. Times (Seattle) 231,505
43. News (Detroit) 227,392
44. Observer (Charlotte, N.C.) 226,849
45. Tribune (Tampa, Fla.) 224,220
46. Express-News S Antonio Tx 222,536
47. Investor's Business Daily LA 215,788
48. Star-Telegram Ft Worth, TX) 215,452
49. Courier-Journal L'ville Ky 213,176
50. News (Buffalo, N.Y.) 207,989
51. Daily Oklahoman Okla City 207,538
52. Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk, Va.) 201,141
53. World-Herald Omaha Neb. 192,075
54. Pioneer Press(St Pau, Minn 190,392
55. Times-Dispatch Richmond 188,540
56. Courant (Hartford, Conn.) 185,570
57. Press-Enterprise R'side CA 183,974
58. Democrat-Gazette (L'l Rock 183,343
59. American-Statesman Austin 183,312
60. Contra Costa Times (Calif.) 182,541
61. Enquirer (Cincinnati) 182,176
62. Record (Bergen County, N.J.) 179,270
63. Daily News (Los Angeles) 178,360
64. Democrat (Rochester, N.Y.) 173,900
65. Tennessean (Nashville) 172,149
66. Post (W. Palm Beach, Fla.) 168,147
67. Times-Union(Jacksonville Fla 167,851
68. Journal (Providence, R.I.) 167,609
69. Asbury Park Press (N.J.) 167,284
70. News & Observer Raleigh NC 163,769
71. Review-Journal (Las Vegas) 160,391
72. Bee (Fresno, Calif.) 158,651
73. Commercial Appeal Memphis 157,820
74. Register (Des Moines, Iowa) 150,851
75. Post-Intelligencer (Seattle) 150,851
76. Daily Herald (Chicago) 150,364
77. News (Birmingham, Ala.) 148,938
78. Daily News (Philadelphia) 143,631
79. Journal News Westchester NY) 142,873
80. Advertiser (Honolulu) 142,025
81. Blade (Toledo, Ohio) 139,520
82. World (Tulsa, Okla.) 139,383
83. Press (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 138,620
84. Tribune (Salt Lake City) 134,985
85. Beacon Journal (Akron, Ohio 128,511
86. News Tribune Tacoma Wash .128,511
87. Daily News (Dayton, Ohio) 126,642
88. La Opinion Los Angeles Calif 124,692
89. Post-Standard Syracuse, N.Y. 120,701
90. Tribune-Review (Greensburg Pa) 119,646
91. News Journal (Wilmington, Del. ) 116,398
92. News-Sentinel (Knoxville, Tenn.) 114,593
93. State (Columbia, S.C.) 114,442
94. Morning Call (Allentown, Pa.) 111,594
95. Journal (Albuquerque) 109,693
96. Herald-Leader (Lexington, Ky.) 106,941
97. Herald-Tribune (Sarasota, Fla.) 105,636
98. News-Journal (Daytona Fla.) 104,654
99. Telegram (Worcester MA) 102,592
100. Times (Washington, DC) 102,255
<
> U.S. PROFESSIONAL SCIENTIFIC SOCIETES
American Association for the Advancement of Science
American Association of Physical Anthropology
American Anthropological Association
American Association of Colleges of Pharmacy
American Association of Cereal Chemists
American Association of Engineering Societies
American Association of Physics Teachers
American Association of University Professors
American Association of University Women
American Astronautical Society
American Astronomical Society
American Chemical Society
American College of Dentists
American Dental Association
American Economic Association
American Educational Research Association
Acoustical Society of America
American Ethnological Society
American Fisheries Society
American Geological Institute
American Geophysical Union
American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics
American Institute of Biological Sciences
American Institute of Chemical Engineers
American Institute of Chemists
American Mathematical Society
American Medical Association
American Meteorological Society
American Nuclear Society
American Oil Chemists' Society
American Physical Society
American Physiological Society
American Phytopathological Society
American Psychiatric Association
American Psychological Association
American Society for Cell Biology
American Society for Engineering Education
American Society for Horticultural Science
American Society for Information Science
ASM International
American Society for Microbiology
American Society for Pharmacology and Experimental Therapeutics
American Society for Quality Control
American Society of Aesthetics
American Society of Agricultural Engineers
American Society of Agronomy
American Society of Animal Science
American Society of Civil Engineers
American Society of Mechanical Engineers
American Society of Plant Physiologists
American Society of Zoologists
American Speech-Language-Hearing Association
American Statistical Association
American Vacuum Society
Association of American Geographers
Association of Research Libraries
Association of Southeastern Biologists
Association for Women in Science
Astronomical Society of the Pacific
Biophysical Society
Crop Science Society of America
Ecological Society of America
Entomological Society of America
FASEB (Federation of American Societies for Experimental Biology)
Geological Society of America
History of Science Society
Hustler Magazine
Industrial Research Institute
Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers, Inc.(IEEE)
Institute of Industrial Engineers
Institute of Navigation
Instrument Society of America
International Association for Impact Assessment
International Communication Association
International Society for Measurement and Control
International Society for Systems Sciences
Marine Technology Society
Mathematical Association of America
Medical Library Association, Inc.
Microscopy Society of America
National Association for Research in Science Teaching
National Association of Biology Teachers
National Council of Teachers of Mathematics
National Geographic Society
National Science Teachers Association
National Society of Black Engineers
National Society of Professional Engineers
National Speleological Society
Optical Society of America
Planetary Society
Rural Sociological Society
School Science and Mathematics Association
Sigma Delta Epsilon/Graduate Women in Science, Inc.
Sigma Xi, The Scientific Research Society
Society of American Foresters
Society for Applied Anthropology
Society for Economic Botany
Society for Industrial Microbiology
Society for Social Studies of Science
Society of Women Engineers
Soil Science Society of America
Speech Communication Association
Volunteers in Technical Assistance (VITA)
The Wildlife Conservation Society
<
