Did you mean beat meat?
Wilhelm Stekel knew a lot about healing as well as the dangers of
candor. He was already a practicing physician when he approached
Sigmund Freud for short-term analysis in 1902. The experience made him
a strong believer in this therapeutic approach and he joined Freud’s
inner circle. In time, he became a noted psychoanalyst in his own
right but like many of the early Freudians; he parted company with the
master.
Though Stekel was a psychoanalysis pioneer and a prolific writer, he
is little known today. The reason has a lot to do with his prickly
personality. He was considered cold, aloof and unapproachable by his
students. He had a way of holding people at arms length and openly
disdained the idea of wining someone over to his point of view.
Instead, he waited for things to spontaneously come to him and they
often did. But this self-centeredness slowly worked against him. His
intellectual disagreement with Freud turned to painful estrangement.
Arguments with his once beloved wife resulted in divorce. In the end
he had no disciples—no adherents to carry to his work. Driven from
Vienna in 1938 by the Nazi advance, he died two years later in London—
alone. Ironically, Stekel was unable to benefit from the therapeutic
approach he so ardently advocated for others. He was unable to move
from self-absorption to self awareness. In the end, he was unable to
candidly evaluate his own life.
There’s nothing easy about candor. It’s tough to be candid about
ourselves and just as hard to be candid about or with others. But it’s
an essential aspect of character. It’s the foundation of trust. When
it’s present, relationships and organizations thrive. In its absence,
rumors, gossip, politicking and hidden agendas become the norm. In
such an atmosphere nothing is reliable—nothing can be considered
certain. For a few, like Stekel, the consequences will be unhappy. For
the rest of us it simply means living lives that are clouded with
doubt.
Otherwise well-intentioned people often resist candor because, as
Stekel pointed out, it’s a double edged sword. While it builds trust,
it can also tremendously complicate life. A frank assessment of a
controversial project’s risk/benefit ratio isn’t likely to create too
much pain in the long run. But throughout recorded history men have
quaked in terror when asked by wives or girlfriends, “Does this outfit
make me look fat?” (There’s only one right answer.) And women have
artfully dissembled when asked by husbands or boyfriends, “Do you
think I’m losing my hair?” (There’s only one right answer.) In either
case the victim is left with a sweat-beaded brow and a sense of relief
that they’ve dodged the bullet but feeling slightly guilty none-the-
less.
Complicated though it may be, there’s no escaping the fact that we
need candor in our lives. As the old adage advises, say what you mean
and mean what you say. Approach every relationship forthrightly.
Present your point of view openly, honestly, and with sincerity.
Operate in a spirit of fair play. And perhaps most importantly, state
opinions as opinions. If you’re rendering a judgment about something
be candid about it—don’t represent it as fact! Candor can bring
clarity to a complicated world. Rely on it—it won’t let you down!
(Though I don’t recommend it when answering the two dreaded questions
above!)
http://www.trinityriverseminars.com/CM/Stekel_04_02_06.htm
Stekel was a part of the Vienna psychoanalytic circle organized by
Sigmund Freud, and Stekel participated in the original discussion the
group had on onanism in 1910. This first discussion lasted for three
evenings and contained so much disagreement that they dared not
publish their proceedings. The group returned to the subject two years
later and, although they agreed that masturbation was representative
of the conflict between instinct and repression, they also agreed that
the topic was quite inexhaustible.
Almost alone among the psychoanalytic group, Stekel argued that, if
masturbation was entirely suppressed, the number of sexual misdeeds
would increase to an immeasurable extent. He held that all sorts of
forbidden yearnings that might have led to rape or pederasty found a
healthy outlet in masturbation. In Stekel's view, masturbation was
entirely harmless or even benign, a position with which Freud
disagreed.
Because Stekel believed that there would be negative consequences to
society if masturbation was eliminated, he was regarded as the odd man
out among his contemporaries. Stekel's reputation among them was not
very high. Ernest Jones held that Stekel wrote with inaccuracy and bad
taste of the worst kind of journalist, and had an "irresponsible
attitude toward truth."
In spite of the opposition, Stekel persevered...
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2372/is_2_42/ai_n13820383
http://www.springer.com/psychology/psychology+general/book/978-0-387-32699-3
