> In article s12g2000prg.googlegroups.com>,
> Lumpy says...
>
>
>

>>On Mar 6, 1:37=A0pm, PyrateJohn gmail.com> wrote:

>>> Notice the odds of survival with pancreatic cancer.

>
>    
>

>>Shut your fucking mouth about this, you miserable bastard.

>
> Lumpy, John Gilmer is pretty much the scum of the earth but keep in mind that
> there is nothing that you can do to him that is worse than what he does to
> himself.  Over and over he has taunted me and others...  daring us to show up at
> Deb's house where he lived.  What is most amazing is that he even admitted that
> one day a woman quite innocently walked toward Deb's garage and he immediately
> called the police.  The poor thing saw all the crap in Deb's garage and thought
> they were having a garage sale.  Now, here's the interesting part - John Gilmer
> said that, after he called the cops, they sent out what he called a mini-SWAT
> team.  Now, you have to picture this.  It couldn't have happened any other way:
>
> 4:06PM  John Gilmer:  "HELP!  GAWD, PLEASE HELP ME!!!
>
> 4:06PM  911 Operator:  "Sir, sir, what is wrong?"
>
> 4:07PM  John Gilmer:  "OH SHIT!  SHE'S HERE...  OH GAWD... PLEASE HELP ME...
>
> 4:07PM  911 Operator:  "Please calm down, sir.  What is your problem?"
>
> 4:07PM  John Gilmer:  "I just peed my pants.  Oh no...  I just bought these on
> EBay.  They're brand new."
>
> 4:07PM  911 Operator:  "Sir, why did you call us?  Is there an emergency?"
>
> 4:07PM  John Gilmer:  "What do you mean, is there and emergency?  Hell yes
> there's an emergency.  Why do you think that I called?"
>
> 4:08PM  911 Operator:  "Get ahold of yourself.  We need to know what the
> emergency is."
>
> 4:08PM  John Gilmer:  "SHE'S HERE!  SHE'S FUCKIN' HERE!  I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT
> SHE'S HERE.  WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO?
>
> 4:08PM  911 Operator:  "What is going on?  We need to know what the emergency
> is."
>
> 4:09PM  John Gilmer:  "OH SHIT!  I JUST CRAPPED MY PANTS.  Well, that's not too
> bad, I had already peed in them anyway."
>
> 4:09PM  911 Operator:  "Sir, if this is not an emergency hang up NOW!"
>
> 4:09PM  John Gilmer:  "Oh, this is an emergency alright.  There's someone
> approaching my house with a suicide bomb.  It looks like a woman but it could be
> Osama ben Laden."
>
> 4:10PM  911 Operator:  "A bomb?  Are you sure?"
>
> 4:10PM  John Gilmer:  "I'm as sure as I am stupid...  I mean...  sure I'm
> sure...  SHE JUST LIT THE FUSE AND SHE IS COMING THIS WAY!"
>
> 4:10PM  911 Operator:  "Police are on the way.  We have a special team to deal
> with just this situation."
>
> 4:11PM  John Gilmer:  "My life is flashing before my eyes.  Hmmm...  Where did
> it go?  It's flashing but I don't see anything...  what have *I* done with my
> life?  Oh shit...  now I see...  I've been a miserable excuse for a human being
> all my life.  Ohhhhhhh..."
>
> 4:11PM  911 Operator:  "You can hang up now, sir.  The police are on the way."
>
> 4:11PM  John Gilmer:  "HANG UP?!?  I can't hang up!  I'm scared!  Don't you
> understand anything?  I just peed and crapped in my pants because I'm a
> sniveling little coward."
>
> 4:12PM  911 Operator:  "Hang up the phone, sir!"
>
> 4:12PM  John Gilmer:  "I can't.  I'm scared...  where's my mommy...  where's my
> mommy...  I need my mommy!"
>
> 4:12PM  911 Operator:  
>
> 4:13PM  John Gilmer:  "WAIT!  DON'T HANG UP!  PLEASE DON'T HANG UP!  Ohhhhh... I
> know she's out there and I'm scared...  somebody help me please...
>
> 4:14PM  Police knock on door.
>
> 4:14PM  "NO PLEASE GO AWAY...  I'M SORRY I LIED ABOUT YOU...  I'm just sorry
> period...
>
> 4:14PM  "This is the police.  Open the door."
>
> 4:15PM  "POLICE?  Oh thank heaven...  I'm saved...  I swear I'll never lie
> again...
>
> (To be continued)