>> You probably wouldn't have been a boozer had you lived life more
>> like he did. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have wondered what it all
>> was supposed to mean, either.
>>
>> Do you NOW know what the answer was/is?
>
> Yes. I believe I do. The only legitimate use of one's life is to
> reduce the suffering of the sufferers. In one way or another, let that
> be what guides you.
I think I have come to understand that, too. I've read some of the
"near death" experiences and they seem to conclude that we MUST be KIND
to others...it's all about KINDNESS. Many people are naturally kind in
this life, but far too many are selfish, greedy and
self-centered....it's all about ME ME ME and they only TAKE, never truly
GIVE of themselves to make life a little (or a lot) better for someone
else. I don't believe there can be a place in Heaven for those people.
As a side note: My Mother (died 24 years ago today) had one brother --
5 years older. He was as different from my mother as night and day.
She used to tell me that "Ed thinks the world OWES him a living" and he
even would joke at times: "After ME, you come first." I wish I could
be the good-hearted and giving woman that my Mom was...always kind and
selfless. I do believe that her soul is in Heaven now..if not, then
there can't be many people there.
>> Alcohol has never dulled any experience or memories for me....the bad
>> stuff or the good. I can't relate to anybody who is at all dependent
>> on the stuff. It seems so negative ... and a waste of money.
>> Supposedly, it's such great FUN. I get high on music and bright
>> people with a sense of humour. Alcohol never seemed to enhance that
>> for me. Made me feel dull or belligerent instead. Or I got VERY sick
>> if I drank too much too fast. Just not any fun at all. And most of
>> it tastes bad, too.
>
> That's because you're normal when it comes to booze.
I'm very glad that I don't need it. I just can't imagine being a slave
to alcohol. Just don't pick up the glass or the bottle. It's not like
food where we HAVE to eat frequently. Can't just STOP eating. But we
don't HAVE to drink alcohol. I find it hard to be compassionate or
sympathetic with anyone who drinks too much and not only ruins their own
life, but everyone close to them. I'm told they "can't help it". I
don't buy that excuse.
> 80 per cent of
> people are like that. Then there's the 10 per cent who drink a lot
> but have control over it.
I suppose that's the ideal way to be...because some people claim they
love the taste of their drinks....love beer. \
Then there's us. We take a drink, and the
> feeling of euphoria and well-being is so intense that the body begins
> to demand that sensation over and over again.
That's the part I missed about drinking. The first beer tastes horrid
to be, but the second or third does taste some better. Usually the
first "feeling" I get from drinking is a HEADACHE starting. And the
last one is extreme nausea and vomiting. No thanks. Not my idea of a
good time.
For many years, it's
> party. Then one day, the balance tips and one's tolerance goes down,
> it takes less and less to go into blackout, and for some of us the
> physical and psychological need to experience intoxication will take
> us straight to hell. Taking our families with us.
I've seen some of this, heard and read about it, too. But many children
of those people drink to excess themselves and also become alcoholics.
Mom's brother (mentioned above) probably didn't drink to excess but he
had to have some every day and got drunk on occasion. He had 3 sons and
a daughter....EVERY ONE of them became true alcoholics and can't touch
the stuff today. I don't understand why they couldn't SEE all the
problems with their father's drinking and not follow that SAME route
themselves. They messed up their lives more than he did.
I'm grateful for the
> years of my sobriety.
And well you should be. I don't think it's easy and alcoholics are
fortunate if they can make it through one day at a time...and it's
always a life-long challenge. You are blessed to have been given a
couple of "second chances" and I feel that you ARE grateful and trying
to make the best of your new gifts of time to enjoy and make life
better. Not everybody is smart enough to do that when they are given a
miracle.
>> Did you ever live anywhere but in the Seattle area?
>
> Colorado for a year. Got sober there for 3 months and loved it but
> started drinking and it all turned to shit. Lost my job and had to
> come back and couch surf. Since sobriety, just here, working my ass
> off and moving my way into financial security which was very easy to
> do here. Buy a house, live in it two years, double your money, sell,
> buy twice the house, double it in two years, ..... do that five times
> and you end up on Bainbridge Island.
You started by saying "working my ass off"...that's usually where
success and satisfaction come from....HARD WORK and EARNING what you
get...then it takes some luck and managing your money, too. My condo
has about tripled in value since I bought it, but right now I'm glad I'm
not trying to sell because I know I wouldn't get top dollar...if it sold
at all. My condo in WI didn't bring me any profit at all in 18 years.
> I'm lucky I got a second chance.
You sure are....you've had a lot of good luck and blessings, but you
also are smart enough to take advantage of them and make the most of
your gifts. How many people inherit money or win the lottery and in NO
time at all....it's all gone. They just haven't a clue how to manage it
to even KEEP it, let alone make it grow and work for them by generating
more income.
> You're lucky you got that inheritance and was able to buy your condo
> and live in security.
I'm an only child and I had an aunt who had no children. She gave me
some money and collectibles, but most went to my cousins as she was
closer to them. They got quite a bundle. My parents left me all they
had, but they had also bought the condo in WI for me....some of my
inheritance early. So there wasn't as much after they died because I
already had a good portion.
I didn't intend to buy another condo when I moved here, but because of
making such a big transition so far away, my real estate agent out here
(Reid Realty) advised me to just buy a nice condo to get settled in.
Then I could look around and see if I found what I really wanted
elsewhere in Kitsap County. I looked around for 2 years and decided I
had so many good things right where I was so I bought a new travel
trailer and decided to have 2 homes instead of one big and expensive
one.
Fourteen years later I don't have the energy or stamina I had when I
first moved here so I really don't feel like moving anywhere now until I
have to for health reasons and might have to go into assisted living.
Time will tell about that. I'm on the ground floor and I just hope to
stay on my feet and can continue driving as long as possible. My health
is holding and somewhat improved in some areas so my main focus has to
be to try to maintain the status quo healthwise and the rest will take
care of itself.
Lucky to have found this safe haven, lucky to
> have picked Washington State.
Luck? Timing? Blessed? My parents guiding me from their heavenly
home? There are some strange circumstances surrounding how and why I am
here. I definitely feel I was being *led* in some way. My relatives
and others tell me how much COURAGE I had to do what I did. I don't see
that at ALL. It just seemed like the right thing to do and I never had
any doubts along the way...and I tell people all the time that I have
never regretted ONE day since I'm here that I moved here. I loved
Wisconsin for many reasons and I never feel like more than a transplant
here....my "home" is back there. But I no longer want to LIVE there at
all...
My only regret is that I didn't move here about 5-6 years sooner. But
timing means a lot in life and I never felt the strong urge to do what I
did till the time was right. And then there was no stopping me no
matter how rough the going was at times.
It's a very benevolent place for
> seniors.
Not very hospitable for walking or biking tho. I gave my bicycle away 5
years ago because I never really could ride it here. There isn't 10
feet of "FLAT" anywhere around me.
> You can postpone your real estate taxes against your estate,
Better than that. I don't have to pay any. It took me a long time to
find out that my yearly INCOME was under the limit for seniors and
disabled and I didn't have to pay taxes. I applied for a refund and got
several years back taxes refunded but not from the early years. That
was ok. I deliberately keep my income low because that benefits me in
several ways. They don't ask what my net worth is...just how much
actual income do I get? I pay my share and then some in Sales Tax but
no Property Tax anymore.
It was AWFUL in Wisconsin....most of it went for school tax and I don't
have children or grandchildren. My parents paid for my education and I
don't feel obligated to pay for somebody else's kids who don't even try
to learn or attend school regularly.
> you can get an Access bus to your door,
Yes...we are kinda far out and on a dead end road, but the city bus is
about a 1/4 mile walk away, not easy walking, tho. However, a small bus
comes in here right to the door for those who sign up and call them to
come by for a pick-up. Several older folks here don't have cars...or
gave up the one they had and still have transportation when they need
it. I don't have any friends or family here that can cart me around on
a regular basis so if I no longer can drive, I will need that bus
service. I can't imagine myself not being able to drive, tho because I
was driving at 12 years of age.
the public health is
> outstanding if one doesn't have full insurance. The list goes on.
I had some kind of basic health plan the first year I was here. I was
surprised and happy to get anything at all...moving in here from a far
away state. I had been on soc.sec. disability at one time but went back
to work. After I was out here awhile, I went back on disability and
then Medicare kicked in again and I had supplemental insurance. I went
onto old-age benefits when I was 62 and get my health care from Doctors
Clinic. I think the quality is A-1 and they are handy...both in
Bremerton and Silverdale. They seem satisfied to give good treatment
and accept what Medicare and AARP insurance pay them. I am pleased that
my health care here is far superior to what I got in WI....but times
have changed and it's probably better everywhere now than in the past.
> I admire anyone who found and made a friend of ZapRatz. :-). He
> reminds me of an old badger. Leave him alone and he's happy, doing
> his thing in the forest. Fuck with him and your ass comes off.
That's about right...and he DOES live in the "BADGER State". I think I
might have a lot of "badger" in me, too. Leave me alone and I'm as nice
as pie and entertain myself very well. Fuck with me and your FACE comes
off...
> The guy in the Alaskan wilderness. Either he didn't have that shit
> roaring in his brain like most of us do, or it was calmed out of him
> early on up there.
Being in close contact with Nature will do that. It's the most calming
influence and holds the answers to most everything in life, I believe.
So very alive...the plants, the animals, the water, the sky, the NIGHT
sky .... ever-changing; yet constant. I think Nature can put
everything in perspective for us if we will let it or even NOTICE it.
How some people can "hate" animals or "hate" anything about Nature
escapes my understanding. Or just go out of their WAY to destroy what
they can in Nature. That seems SELF-destructive to me.
That's the only way you can live with yourself,
> alone.
I can't understand people who canNOT live alone, take care of
themselves, entertain themselves. I would be afraid to be in a position
where I had to depend on somebody to "take care of me"...unless I was
truly incapacitated and then they'd likely be paid to assist me. Then
it's a job for them. But to marry someone because you fear being alone
or can't take care of yourself is a frightening thing to me. I also
never wanted to be dependent on someone else financially. I don't want
to be tied to anyone that way and be obligated to them, feel I had to
somehow "pay back".
Obviously, most people aren't like me or nobody would be married. Too
many marriages are/were due to some kind of NEED and I only wanted to be
married because we both WANTED to...not out of NEED. I think that is
worse among the older people. They just NEED to have a partner and
don't have very high standards about who it is...will take anybody who
will have them. Of course, money plays a big part when people get
older...anybody with some bucks has a waiting line to get to him/her.
I've had a few at my door....but not all at the same time. ;'))
Karen
