You Know What's Funny: Van Halen
But Not 'Ha Ha' Funny
by Trent McMartin

How much more can Van Halen fans take? First David Lee Roth was out,
though red rocker Sammy Hagar turned out to be more than a suitable
replacement. Then Hagar leaves (or was fired) and the band brings back
Diamond Dave for a doomed brief stint before settling on Gary Cherone,
who lasted one unsuccessful album, 1998's Van Halen III - the album
for which longtime bassist Michael Anthony reportedly played on only
three tracks. It's enough to make you ask, "Where have all the good
times gone."

I remember seeing that MTV awards ceremony back in '97 with Roth and
Van Halen and it reeked of nothing more than a cash grab. The nineties
were the golden age of reunions, with many groups like the Eagles,
Fleetwood Mac, Jane's Addiction and KISS getting their classic line ups
back together. The tours and coinciding greatest hits compilations
brought in a lot of money and proved that dinosaurs of rock could
reclaim their past glory, though if only for a brief time. Nostalgia
can only take you so far.

How well did that go?

The car-crash moment will be March 12, the RRHOF induction ceremony.

Wear a diaper, in case you shit yourself.

Do not think for a second that there are any guarantees when it comes
to Van Halen. Back in 1996, everyone thought that this was a done
deal. But then it blew up.

Dave and the Van Halen boys still have plenty of obstacles to leap
through before the tour takes off. There's the rehearsals, the
collaboration between Dave and the Van Halens, Ed's drinking, etc.

Seriously, what's going to happen when Dave steps into the rehearsal
studio with Wolfgang? What happens when Dave criticizes the way that
Wolfgang plays bass (you know that Ed will never hear any mistakes in
his playing, no matter how bad he plays)... what's going to happen at
the press conference and HOF induction when Dave turns on his Diamond
Dave persona (remember the 96 VMAs).... what happens when Ed tells Dave
not to say that "F" word in front of his son?

My point is, there are plenty of eggs and only a small portion of them
have already hatched. There is a lot of time between now and the end
of May. For all we know, the tour could end up being cancelled early
when Ed can't stay sober or gets his feelings hurt by Dave.

Announced:

Edward, Wolfgang and Alex Van Halen along with David Lee Roth for a 40 gig
date tour. A clip of the Mtv video "Jump" was aired along with a silent
clip of Sammy Hagar on stage with Edward Van Halen, archives. 10 p. m. news
eastern standard time, Comcast Barnstable County channel 13, Fox25 News.
Approx. 10:45 p. m. e. s. t..

Van Halen is back -- with David Lee Roth
Roth will rejoin his old band mates for a national tour that is
scheduled to reach the Southland in June.
By Geoff Boucher, Times Staff Writer
January 25, 2007

Give credit (or blame?) to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame: David Lee
Roth is back with Van Halen and planning to tour.

The mercurial Roth, who officially left Van Halen on April Fool's Day
in 1985, will reunite with his old band for a tour that kicks off in
North Carolina in early May and includes June stops in L.A., Orange and
San Diego counties, according to sources in the concert industry.

Joining Roth will be guitar hero Eddie Van Halen and drummer Alex Van
Halen. But bassist Michael Anthony reportedly will be replaced by Eddie
Van Halen's teenage son Wolfgang.

The band had been planning a splashy press conference in L.A. to
announce the news, but word leaked out Thursday. There had been intense
speculation that the reunion might happen after the announcement this
month that the band would be inducted into the Hall of Fame in New York
on March 12.

....will Dave do a bluegrass solo after Ed's guitar solo?

If you load up http://www.van-halen.com and try to enter the site
you're continuous redirected to to the logo (gateway) page... This
means changes of some sort are underway.

Van Halen reunites, Second Coming is nigh

It has come to this. The gods of metal did grunt and the thunder did
creak and Poison, Dokken, Def Leppard, Ratt, Whitesnake and the rest of
the '80s quinquagenarian rockers have already wrapped up their various
"reunion" tours of the sundry community theaters, Midwestern county
fairs and shopping malls across this fine nation, so of course now is
the time for the granddaddy of all conflagrations, the Great Reuniting
fans have been waiting for about 20 years, the real Second Coming.

Yes, the original Van Halen, easily the greatest party-metal band of
all time, is finally reuniting (well, most of them) for a summer tour.
Shudder, and hope, and shudder again.

Incredible as this band was in its heyday (and much deserving of
inclusion in the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame), you have to admit, the
signs are not encouraging.

"20 Greatest Guitar Solos Ever, With Videos"

http://tinyurl.com/3y4sgs