>> Deer Santa,
>>
>> I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy all
>> yeer.
>>
>> Yer Friend, Billy
>>
>> Dear Billy,
>> Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about
>> I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your
>> older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.
>>
>> Santa
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Dear Santa,
>>
>> I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
>> peace and joy in the world for everybody!
>> Love, Sarah
>>
>> Dear Sarah,
>>
>> Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
>>
>> Santa
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Dear Santa,
>>
>> I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
>> mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
>>
>> Love, Teddy
>>
>> Dear Teddy,
>>
>> Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
>> hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your
>> frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that
>> dream. Let me send you some Legos instead.
>>
>> Santa
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Dear Santa,
>>
>> I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
>> drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
>>
>> Love, Francis
>>
>> Dear Francis,
>>
>> Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you're gay. I'll set
>> you up with a Barbie.
>>
>> Santa
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Dear Santa,
>>
>> I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots
>> for your reindeer outside the back door.
>>
>> Love, Susan
>>
>> Dear Susan,
>>
>> Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face
>> when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a
>> bottle of Scotch.
>>
>> Santa
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Dear Santa,
>>
>> What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making
>> toys?
>>
>> Your friend, Thomas
>>
>> Dear Thomas,
>>
>> All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I spend
>> most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking
>> myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while
>> losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
>>
>> Santa
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Dear Santa,
>>
>> Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
>> awake, like in the song?
>> Love, Jessica
>>
>> Dear Jessica,
>>
>> Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm
>> skipping your house.
>>
>> Santa
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Dear Santa,
>>
>> I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE,
>> PLEASE could I have one?
>>
>> Love, Timmy
>>
>> Dear Timmy,
>>
>> That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
>> doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
>>
>> Santa
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Dearest Santa,
>>
>> We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
>> Love, Marky
>>
>> Dear Mark,
>>
>> First stop callling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your
>> ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live
>> in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just
>> like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
>>
>> Sweet dreams,
>> Santa
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> **************************************See AOL's top rated recipes
>> (http://food.aol.com/top-rated-recipes?NCID=aoltop00030000000004)

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