You are in the middle of some kind of project around the
house. Mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting
the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty.
Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes
on. You know the outfit, shorts with the hole in crotch,
old t-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old
pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home
improvement project
you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to
help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do
the following:

In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a
shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and
put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and
flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never
know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in
the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty
girl running the register.

In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean
shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick
so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your
hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a
shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute
girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you
went to school with.

In your 40's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a
sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the
crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat.
Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut Cologne is almost
empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip
to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more
sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the
register is your daughter's age and you feel weird
thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on,
wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes
because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports
car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to
wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The
cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming
and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat
you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it
says, 'I Got Worms.'

In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a
hat anymore. Hose the dog shit off your shoes. The mirror
was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you
have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your
pants. The girl running the register may be cute but you
don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go
to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready too.
Don't even notice the dog shit on your shoes. The
young thing at the register smiles at you because you
remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80's: Stop what you are doing. Start again.
Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go
to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to
think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and
you think someone called out your name. You went to school
with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.