> The North has coffee houses,
> The South has Waffle Houses
>
> The North has dating services,
> The South has family reunions.
>
> The North has switchblade knives,
> The South has Lee Press-on Nails
>
> The North has double last names,
> The South has double first names.
>
> The North has Indy car races,
> The South has stock car races.
>
> The North has Cream of Wheat,
> The South has grits.
>
> The North has green salads,
> The South has collard greens.
>
> The North has lobsters,
> The South has crawfish.
>
> The North has the rust belt,
> The South has the Bible Belt.
>
> FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . .
>
> In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a
> four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't
> try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
>
> Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....do
> not buy food at this store.
>
> Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is
> plural possessive.!
>
> Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"
>
> Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use
> it.
>
> Don't be worried at not under standing what people are saying. They can't
> understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a
> transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or
> big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this
> way. All of them are in denial about it.
>
> The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
>
> Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.
>
> If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay
> out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
>
> If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest
> accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store.
>
> It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go
> there.
>
> Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they
> are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim
>
> In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is
> to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
>
> AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think
> we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the
> oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
>
> Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and I reckon your life
> will turn into a country music song 'fore you know it.
>
> Your kin would get a kick out of it too!
>
> --
> lynn
>
> I AM...
>
> A=aware- of it all
> L=love- for all
> I=intuitive-with my body and my surroundings
> V=victorious- in all i do
> E=exited- about it all