> Gaia-web theory vs kosmic matrix theory.
> Nature mysticism vs Emptiness-form nonduality.
>
> (it's an upgrade)
>
> no tension.
> no thought. no threat.
>
> concentrate on releasing all locations of tension, and when thoughts
> are there let them pass and feel where its tension is or was.
>
> StuckGod.
> felt myself letting the world and myself fall away with all grasping,
> after looking in the mirror changing facial expressions and considering
> the possibility of changing physical forms and whether i'd want to lose
> this one... then thinking about having become mildly aware of
> everything's emptiness since 99, inc this. just managing to hold it
> together since, avoiding the fall. (with ocd and addictions being part
> of the method)
> the falling away was occuring while just walking through the kitchen
> this time.
> it reminds me of being young and having those s trange "spells"... i
> used to get dizzy and the world would start swirling away, feeling
> distant, appearing new and weird... as if i'd just snapped into
> awareness on a different level and felt loosely attached to the whole
> situation. i didn't like it, but assumed everyone had it... like
> hiccups.
>
> In Emptiness. In Me.
>
> let it happen. the waves.
>
> it's difficult to know how to think of the Beyond. even as an
> experience only.
>
> morality comes from our own heart... and personally i'd thump anyone
> thinking of murder in the head.
>
> you can turn the world off whenever you want. just pretend you're
> watching oprah.
>
> snap to...
> let go...
>
> get flow...
>
> "we are not rogues
> we are not romantics
> we are here to serve you"
>
> i believe i'm slowly opening into an instrument for the energies of the
> new aeon, with difficulties caused by lack of decisiveness, addiction,
> fear of revolution and energy.
>
> [my psyche observed that i'm afraid of success, whether in the world or
> in meditation.]
>
> we, the child.
>
> we are the children.
> the next 50 years are our responsibility.
> and the next 500 years are our responsibility.
>
> there isn't much time to "think things through, to analyze, to make
> sense of everything"... and it feels too confining, still.
> you first have to "git yo freak out". while making a practical start in
> self actualization, therapy and practice. we can think as we go.
>
> every now and then through the day let everything fall away.
>
> quickened and total relaxation.
>
> orientation and attachment.
>
> snap to yourself.
>
> the Silent Self.
>
> mute Awareness.
>
> forces. thoughts. focus. actions.
>
> body is a life lab of force-feelings and thought projections.
>
> E failed in every area... everywhere he wbent and failed i've been
> going to succeed... his energy was a danger so i've disconnected him.
> (he enjoys being a flake.)
>
> drugs, spirituality, magick, metaphysics.
>
> i believe morals spring from ones individuality and true will, which in
> highest form is ones personal soul.
>
> (ego -> soul vs god)
>
> Thus there are transcenders who never return, or if they do they
> continue with their programmed lives.
> while a bodhisattva is an individual who has shaped themselves, and
> deepened themselves, over years of virtue cultivation and vows...
> so that once Enlightenment is attained it is up to their own self and
> soul to bring out these virtues and to use the enlightened perspective
> or experience primarily to aid others.
> they've gone beyond individuality and back, and that reanimated self is
> one already cultivated into a compassionate being.
> in vajra the practice of shaping and deepening continues after formless
> enlightenment in dream and in life.
>
> i don't believe Emptiness told 'em to go out there and do good in the
> world from now on.
> it's something their individual self deserves full respect for.
>
> body-emotion-intellect-SOUL-god.
>
> god is amoral. (responsible for everything)
>
> [i could be wrong, btw]
>
> group moralilty is a respectful agreement of desires betwee individual
> wills.
> no more abstract than that. it's simply what We want.
> so perhaps there can be morality in religion, but not in god.
>
> also of interest are the evolving levels or stages of morality...
>
> god may not judge, but i do.
> (humane)
>
> there are energies interfering with the work so i don't trust much of
> what i think right now. they are trying to hijack the process...
> twisting everything for their own survival.
> sometimes i put way too much faith in my enegies whatever they are at a
> certain time, as if it were impossible to pollute me. everything does
> play it's part, and they can be turned to the purpose of course, but
> atm they're a risk i have to find my way around.
>
> meditation becomces almost an automatic reflex.
>
> has there ever been so much selfhype and so little originality as now?
> everyone's a revolution, but all i hear is mediocrity.
>
> ironic cynicism rules man.
>
> "ever since meeting so-and-so i'd become big headed... and panel
> beating just wasn't my thing."
>
> how you see yourself determines your choices.
>
> i'm coming to believe that everything i need will be provided at the
> right time.
>
> if i should go to europe next year the money will come, etc
>
> shorthaired bookworm eccentric art rebel
>
> for everone who didn't make it, continue.
>
> power. over all ones life.
> "I give you power."
>
> get serious.
>
> originalRebel.
> everyone thinks they're starting a revolution, but they're only
> joining...mine.
>
> working on an energetic-feeling level to change our mental patterns.
>
> karmic blockages.
>
> the Horus Child. (the hope of the world)
>
> working up. working down.
> to intellect and order. to body and earth.
> the peasant becoming the aristrocrat. the aristocrat disguised as the
> peasant.
> then the aristocrat lifts his head back to civil society and
> responsibilities.
> beyond this integration is soul-god.
>
> boredom takes one down. direction, up again.
>
> it's interesting to intentionally try simulating being pissed off at
> something... heartbroken... etc.
>
> the egoic contraction.
>
> you can Really do it while maintaining the higher-dimensional footing.
>
> imagine it being almost forgotten what being angry feels like... and
> simulating just to remember the taste.
>
> she's more aware when she's fallen... unhappy...
> doesn't know where to go...(never did)... and she can use that
> sensitivity... to find truer direction... and to open up to input and
> the surroundings and truer relations... truer orientation...
>
> holodeck adventures.
> all life is play. pure joy.
>
> sending the trops out to kill w/ith no solid moral reason creates
> mental conflict, depression, etc... or demoralized animals... if they
> can kill for Johnny they can kill for anything.
>
> i'm conscious of feelings as energies. (and physical tension)
>
> (beyond thoughtmindbrain)
>
> feeling as body-tension.
> feeling as energy-motion.
>
> (e-motion)
>
> brain and nervous system. energy-system (nodes, meridians, chakras).
>
> the world may be true on it's plane...
> but my Home is in a higher dimension.
>
> (no worries)
>
> so, im getting into the rugby.
> i'm camping next week.
> i'm digging holes, blistering my hands.
> went to the beach yesterday.
> had 2 fights this year.
>
> never been so bluddy aussie in my life mate.
>
> keep a distance, emotionally atleast, from all Relationship Bombs.
> cause they cause turmoil when they change their faces. stick with
> people i can trust and be at ease with, or i'll keep blowing up aswell.
>
> seems the pissed off energy has to be integrated into me or it'll just
> explode stupidly.
> i feel it coming thru me and it's hard to get rid of, and expression in
> fits doesn't always help... but it seems to be making me a stronger
> personality as i let it integrate.
>
> my body feels like it's a bit of an energy h0.
> a vessel for all the forces to pass through.
> but i think i'm also trying to have some control and standard-self
> energies (militant for one...)... soundtracks.
>
> the fact that self perception determines ones choices and thus life is
> a central magickal law.
>
> [god is the relational matrix:
> no focus on interior development-states.
> fascination with interconnection...andtheory... but the interconnection
> is only a fact known, not a harmonious-whole new perception or
> awareness to expand into except theoretically... a new Thought (beyond
> rational), closer in approximation to the holistic reality. you know
> but do not see & feel it... fundamental psychological state remains one
> of discord in self and with world, division.]
>
> i'm getting slightly militant characteristics.
> even my walk at times... the salute appeals to me... and the general
> attitude toward things. its as if my inner general is coming out and
> taking control of the situation.
>
> i could light up this
> broken clock in neon colour
> it's not the point
> there is no heaven on earth
> floor as high as the sun
>
> so really, serealty, surreal
>
> broken in shadow and moon light
>
> tired of the english speaking world.
> learning other languages gives overall language Lucidity.
>
> true will.
> don't be scared of disappointing anyone or ideal but myself and my own.
> look (lock) into oneself.
>
> underground power:
> false identities.
> alt income methods.
> hacking and technology.
> social engineering.
> realworld hacking.
>
> america will die, it's empire will be shortlived and shattered.
> the big bullyhero child doesn't have the answer. they will shout their
> solutions with brute force, anyways. and we nod politely, fearful of
> losing their friendship or worse.
> only cosmetic surgery and vampiric lunges for external resources under
> the guise of global justice will keep it alive, and even now.
>
> australia, europe... i think the major hope of the worlds progress is
> in a unitedEurope and Australasia...
> for one, europe will show integrations success as a microcosm, as will
> australasia (the golden child). but even more... europse will become a
> unified Force, a new Power, removing the need for american
> dumbFUckaheads support. they w/ill be crawling their way out of the
> ashes, catching up, after the collapse.
> australia, i believe, will be forced to open its gates to an influx of
> asians to avoid war... the integration will be a Huge benefit, as
> uncomfortable as the whities might at firs t be with the dramatic
> change of australasian identity.
> but we will have to begin irrigating the desert.
> australia has the same redneckishness as america but the racism is less
> deeply rooted and even they are rather easy going and adaptable. less
> sure-a themselves. it can be changed without dramatic revolution.
>
> Europe, the new world.
> Australasia, the new country.
>
> America is stuck to my face like bubblegum.
> I have to push it away and slice it up.
>
> they live by slogans not observations.
> hot air.
> balloon heads.
>
> ---
> martyrs are romantic fools.
> it barely does any good.
> if all the great people died we'd be left with even greater fools than
> they.
>
> dying for a cause is a sick fantasy. yet noble.
>
> major extentions and corrections.
>
> postmetaphysics.
> artifacts and heaps.
> 4 drives error. (entropy)
> mindMind-bodyBody semantic knot.
>
> emotional intelligence. psychic interpretation.
>
> object...
> feeling. associated (harmonious) thoughts.
>
> [btw. on my way to the library i had the image of a make-upless
> european clown, and laughed saying "european clown?" to myself. this
> was weird, but within 2 minutes i walked past a make-upless european
> juggling balls by the library.]
>
> if i strongly associated marijuana with america right now, giving up
> would be a sinch.
>
> red... the colour, the light.
> joy... the feeling, the force.
> logic... the thought, the brain.
>
> (subjective-objective distinction)
>
> MY iraq solution:
>
> drugs and violent video games.
>
> to low class war-riors life is meaningless w/ithout war.
> soldiers are sickened by ordinary life. (peace is dull)
> purpose is drained.
> it wouldn't matter if you gaves everybody a place in society, or even a
> million bucks... they'd just spend it on weaponry and find another
> fight.
> so... give them a virtual means of expression and enough drugs to keep
> them wrecked beyond action.
> or...another idea... send them to fight in foreign territory under teh
> guise of a peace keeping mission.
>
> take me down town in a fat suite.
>
> perfuct-frame we've bled in like a god wound
>
> digital missing teeth and art puppet scars
>
> glitter and blood lit galaxies, black owl eyes
>
> automatic revolution of the lovely stars