On Sep 9, 12:28 am, dead
gmail.com> wrote:> On Sep 9, 12:06 am, dead
gmail.com> wrote:
>>> right part of my perspective that made it interesting was that the
>> imagination became involved in the bedroom scene and theres a
>> crossover of mind with matter i suppose.
>
>> i remember the first times i had sex in australia i was driven into
>> philosophizing about solipsism during it, nothing feeling real and
>> thinking dominating the senses i guess solipsisms a conclusion.
>
>> so that's the negative functioning of a mind during sex i guess.
>> it makes me think of nonduality vs pure witnessing put by ken.
>
> emotions are important but they are also driving people, especially
> woman, blind and stupid. it's important to control them or atleast..
> important to keep emotions checked by lucid grasp of reality even
> when emotions are let to be wild..... ah whatever! :)
>
> yeah sex as metaphor in particular is a good teacher, and learning
> there rubs off into other areas of orientation and interaction in
> life...
> different to the golf spirituality craze, another audience i suppose.
> i
> think sex is over rated by people though, but on the other hand, i've
> decided sex like life can have more gotten out of it if you are
> patient
> and let the Way become clearer with experience, and if people were
> doing more than the mediocre stuff, they might extend their interest
> into later years! :) but it is just one part of things and symbolic..
>
> somehow it does have a directly animal instinct, lower physical
> consciousness centrism, although other levels and states come
> immersed into part of the whole game of what sex about yknow?
>
> it's stylized, intellectualized, fantasized, spiritualized.. although
> under all of that it's just our brains way of embracing a physical
> bodily value system that's a part of being human, not the only.:)
>
> it does have a way of spreadings itself out symbolically into the
> other parts of reality and the psyche like freud obviously becam
> fascinated by to an extreme making himself the alpha sexually
> bent psychologist of the pack that followed him.
in my first relationship i was in a delicate strange mind
and being swept into reality tempted by a female. faith
sensed material things and the people percieved by me
was not strong and i was disoriented in that regard and
still am fundamentally disoriented in how to take things.
the relationship made the issue i had which was alone
in my home and in my mind a real and urgent problem
of how to regard her and the reality she's from (here!)..
it became painful because intimacy was at stake, and
sexual involvement was just the physical level of that.
recently with the short term girlfriend girlfriend i was in
some way over that problem. i wasn't as wrapped, the
romantic and sexual experience wasn't over hyped and
i wasn't grasping onto teenage notions of love anymore.
we did have a real emotional thing going, but it was the
acceptance or realism of myself and relationships that
made it smoother than the last time. there was a time
when my emotions were peaking and i wanted much to
fully throw myself into it and let the emotions soar and
all of that but i came to the fundamental doubt and had
to go through another phase of questioning reality and
even in a conspirational way, not just sense reality but
the truth of appearances, deceit and ulterior motives.
what can i KNOW, atleast to the point i can settle my
heart upon something.. love and emotion based upon
truth became a concrete philosophy of living.
in the end i did let the paranoia settle down and heart
settle back to the love story again, but i went through
even a period of semi unconsciousness, blocking the
situation and thinking mind and desiring an "oblivion".
i realized i had over done things. however i had also
had to come to terms with that fundamentally i can't
know the truth of anything but i can have a standard
of proof and emotional faith and allow myself to love.
anyway by the way, another difference in how i came
to bring myself to the relationship was knowing that i
was making an effort and it wasn't like the first time i
felt emotions as a child anymore, and that there's an
choice factor under alot of the motion and emotions..
i could turn them off or change them easier but i was
growing comfortable with letting the play act out with
the love story. and making the motion does bring up
real feelings and familiarity and you do get "hooked"
down from that puppeteering mantle over time. :)
