Fuck an intro...

I wrote this May of last Year, on the 10th, a month or two less
before
I found Subgenius

it may be presumptous to say that i am the turner of the phrase that
i
can hold in my hand the means and method of whole universes, but it's
very likely that we all can, i must be a gnostic cause only in that
line of thinking could such a thing ever be possible. when gasping at
the air one must reach out for after scaling the mountain to reach
the
holy men and women dancing madly under foriegn stars,

when holding fast to delusions which provide no soulutions, when
confronted with the only temptation we can't beat, what does one do
but press forward regardless of the personal feelings and beliefs of
the false moment. we are true only as warriors, believing in nothing
but confronting everthing, utterly unafraid of what stands out as so
hopefully real. so here is the paen of the last man to ever cross on
cubic inch of earth, the only being to stand until the end, come back
in time early to teach maybe a little humiltity which might be
necessary to cross that black threshold of the abyss. when will we
stop being afraid of death

and the pangs of pain, when will the narcotics no longer be needed by
our species when will we just love one another unconditionally,
perhaps I am a christian and I have been fighting against the wrong
definiton of the faith, but I'm utterly heretical by most peoples
standards, an anarchist of the soul, i live free and i take like
stealing but only to further the development of will which is indeed
bigger than me, to serve the higher self of which my manifestation in
the flesh i but a shadow of, so that i may be integrated into it, and
be come consciously a part of it, and no longer live one more moment
of my life half-dazed in the stupor of a stupid acceptance of things,
but to actively reach out and shake the world tree by the roots, as
mythically wotan did when he sacrificed himself on the tree by one
legg and losing an eye gained second sight, like tiresias of greece,

the faggot gods come to help me across the centuries and millenia to
bring their spirit back too this world in all it's complacency and
gray mediocrity, but in a way that people will actively desire
themselves, this is the fun part the part no one quite understands.
it
will not at all be done with bombs or death, terror or feer, but only
by joy and anticipation of the novelty will the new man be crafted,
capable of understanding the foundation of his past posterity, and
fully able to love and play in a world he or she or it creates each
and every moment free and playful...

we should not be shackled by the conventions of making money,
building
homes, and growing families just to wither away infront of idiot
boxes
that pacify us with the purest drug ever manufactured, the artificial
alpha wave, the self-calming remnant of the organ kundabuffer, the
means by which we ignore each and every important detail around us
all
the time, any time, every time...

some people say i am crazy for thinking so deep into things that seem
irrelevant to living, and i'm afraid i waste valuable limited mortal
time on it, that's assuredly true but i turn a phrase i must say, and
that alone might be worth having gone through all of this for, the
ability to channel a bit of genius into the earth, from wherever it
orginially comes from. maybe i won't really have to plague myself
with
these thoughts for long, as i am growing up a bit better each day a
little wiser a little smarter for the worse of wear in the entropic
field of everyday existence, dying a little everyday to be born a bit
more in a different direction. this is the madness, this is the
pleasure, this is hedonics

can't help it im in that top 4%% of rare "human" beings

oh and this was in april also on the 10th...

Hello spaceship kids on a drifting orb of hot magma encrusted with a
veil of bristling organic combinations and technological matrices...
Howdy, from the highest highs and the farthest fars, from the Most
Above Space Elf it's transreal self(s), very body fabricated out of
shimmering time and space, stars embedded in the folds of it's royal
gown. Are you doing your best on this precious sapphire pocketed out
nice and safe in the cool hinterlands of your minor galaxy, you have
so much time and opportunity.

It's true your a very young race, very stupid, naive, barely able to
see past your own enviornmental egos (in the vernacular, your nose
would do just as well). Here in the body of this boy I'm playing out
my round of mortal coil shambling as best I can, enjoying the fruits
this particular corner of cosmos allows me to. I think lately am I
enjoying it enough before I get rushed off to some other body, some
other time or dimension, aye, get one shot here for the next 23
quintillion years squared before i get another go around (eternal
return).

Am I loving enough to the plants, animals, minerals, protoplasts,
boys
and girls, angels and seraphim, carrots and cherubim, Is my heart
vast
enough to intricately empathize and grok the world around me, am I
being responsible enough in terms of concern for my organic
constitution (am I taking care of this body). I can't tell you yet
where I came from before I lived here, maybe somewhere in the
bejewelled dream lands of Jein, under the rhythmic pulsing neutron
star Impathaea, where I sat on my obsidian throne high above the land
in the aerial lady fortress Zevill Kaa, waiting till my final
conflict
with Yal'dabo-aet, Mr. Arc Zeitha dae Null was I then and chewing on
a
delicious dhole, slurping down the intoxicating nectars hidden within
it's wormy hindbrain...

Yeah maybe I came from that place or maybe from Denda Carcosa, where
I
was J'uurg Enizizi Xexoxos, 778th Xexoxoi incarnated in the immortal
flesh-shell crafted and esospermed by the ever so horny and wise
arch-
incubi Nhorde'chk, tinkering with my tools and bending reality with
my
further studies till eventually i can leave my husk and be reborn as
a
freshly crafted full-vibration demon-prince of my own right, taking
place in the army of my lover-father, like all the other Xexoxoi
having preceded me, and overwatching my successor-brother in his
development over the couple of millenia it takes to develop one of
our
kind...

It's possibly all just the fevered imaginings in my lonely drifting
here on Planet Urth, or maybe it's real, just ever so far away, it at
least should be a novel at some point in my life, with all the
complex
emotions and deep interactions that I need to learn now in my life
real and vivid to carry over into my other work give it the kinda of
substance and style by which master works are recognized.

then later on in march on the tenth...

Inside Earth there was a land of mystery

I wish i had the key to time and space here in my hand, clasped
between my fingers as corporeal as such a key could be, to feel it's
volume, dimensions and heft, to touch the teeth of such a key in such
a bizarre format as such a key could have, to ponder where or when or
how the door it was fitted for could be opened with it, and where the
door could lead or when or how...

Such a strange series of automatic thoughts as I sit sipping my
southern host, having just jacked off to a gorgeous shemale from
miami
with fine tanned skin and very passable features from tip to nip,
having just smoked a cigarrette and listening to Therion, Ave Babalon
Ave Therion, reading interested suitors and play-mates messages,
planning on how to get all my finances arranged for this adventure to
floridia serendipity has placed before me, how gracious he is in his
long flowing gown of changing fortunes.

My warrior body trained diligently today my new more intense lifting
programme delivering the goods as I had foreseen them doing so. Such
is my instants and my recent pasts, along with my projected futures.
Lovingly the Furies have been kind to me, or best to speack, not
unkind, and for that I am as much Joy as woe, for hand in hand to
they
ride sidesaddle in tow.

Drums pumping the air across the void to reach my ears, complex
chemical relays making harmonious sense out of outre stimuli in the
cacaphony it origins from. May I stand before the judgement throne of
my own King of Heart and be judged well and of good solid standing, i
don't feel like it though, so wishy-washy and lacking comitment that
I
sorely need in life, but no time for change like the present. Glory
be
to thee, long loves you will see, kiss softly in three

then in march on the same day earlier on the 22nd

What a funny world I had the exquisite pleasure to incarnate upon.
What a beautiful orb ever so imperfect in its tenuous balance of
fortunate co-incidences, how many "goldilock's" zones layered over
layer to bring about the possiblity that we could ever look out and
question how it all happened. Ancient maternal fire-mistress,
futurist
brother holding wormholes in technoastral hands, dancing about never
quite sure which foot will lead to the next, partners spinning in all
directions, holy temple ablaze with the the flowing forth of
pangenesis from the false vaccuum just behind us.

Our trillion doubles and triples, the parts of us stuck forth like
stiff thumbs in hyperspace, half a dozen or more dimensions twisting
our sensations back upon themselves and outwards, a tonal sensation
of
the nagual situation. How many tunnels of set can we dig for ourselve
with nose-cones of imaginal power plumbing the puzzling space as
thick
as it is empty.

Angles and angels, gods and cogs, machines and spirits, organisms and
membranes made of everything out of nothing, universes splitting off
of universes, subspace strings vibrating with the harmonies,
melodies,
symphonies of creation righout out of the frothy foam, big as it is
small, strange as it is normal, may you please come and make the most
impossible the everyday ordinary that I may play with you old aeon in
your game of golden balls, young as you are ancient, boyish as you
are
girlish, up as down, in as out, black as white, positive as negative,
dead as alive, I can feel the sweet soft caresses of your invisible
tentacles across my dark matter flesh invisible, interpentrating the
real with the unreal, the no with the yes.

Yog-So-Thoth, Aza-Thoth, Nyarlathotep, Sidereal faces of
Dominoplexia,
Nyx and Nox, Neither-Neither of a Zos Kia Kultus, fancy swirlings in
a
inverted mirror as all the smoke falls towards the strange attraction
in variable hearts of paradoxical darkness so shining in it's
tunneling outwards. May all man one day have vision of You who are
Many, Many who are None, Some who are Done, and None who has yet to
begin,

Ave Thelema, Ave Babalon, Ave To Mega Therion, Ave Neurochromo
Ja'Domo, Ave J'uurg Enizi Xexoxos, Ave Zevill Kaa, Ave Pan, Io Pan
Pan
Io Io Pan Pan Io Pan, Ave IAO, Ave OAI, Ave AOI, Ave IOA, Ave
Gibberish and Ave Glossalia, Ave Barbarous Tongues and Ave luscious
licks- Celebrate the Night of Pan,

and dream of the forgotten ones who sit as close as a breath to you
right now- All gods of man are dead, Only them that are other ever
have or ever should, shall shan't be not to thee that which is only
unseen forever see

.... In short I coveted the Earth and a hell of a lot more before I
learned to Obey... pointless, maybe... But I'm spinning the Spell of
the Sidestepping of "Bob", the "Jerry", Jackpot Julian "Jerry"
Jubillee...

or maybe I'm just drunk.