Running green lights
+++

you know

some ppl

dont have a psychic blog

to annoy th piss out of em

wot ave ya got to say for yrself ?

+++
travis
'why does it always rain on me'
+++

poor cunt

+++

went surfing on my unicycle
in th city

at lunchtime

this day

hang on man

i'm not stoned enough

.

..

.

i ran a couple or three
green lights but

mostly i was well behaved

+++

"wot does a red light mean jenny ?"

go liek shit

"hmm"

+++

this cunt locked up a wheel

in th mid city

i was just

oozin across this redlight and

fuck he went off

+++
1

teach ya to slow down ya cunt

+++
icehouse
'love in motion'
+++

like nuthin better
than a four lane road

one way
and i'm goin th other way

playin
zig zag thru th cars

on th suspension monoshock
extreme unicycle

+++

just umm

it aint midnight

or later

when i used to ride

but

noon

+++

havin a dispute with th local council

+++

well that cunt's got no balls
"values his duco on his car"

nup
just got no nuts

+++

hey little boy

u know who u are

+++

only had 3 bourbons inside me

and i'd

only smoke a coupe bongs

in th back of a motorcycle shop

before headin out

to run amok

+++

i told ya cunt
i do not
ride a safety bicycle

dont fine me for ridin one

+++

poor little girl
i think she's had a happy accident

dont ride thru there paulie
it'll be slippery

+++

this one guy

+++
tenacious d
'inward singing'
+++

maybe he should of
kept it internal

standin with a
hardhat on

in th street
a council guy ?

asked me
where my other wheel was

bad move man

+++

do i look like i fuckin need it ?

cocksucker

+++

he didnt liek bein called a cocksucker

+++

felt he didnt deserve it

+++

i woulda put him in hospital

if he wanted to argue further

he didnt

+++
katie noonan
'what;s going on?'
+++

who do ya think ya are cunt ?

+++

just fuckin yellin
at me

out in th street

+++

have i got a sign on me
somewhere
sayin

pls ask me a fuckin stupid question

then jam it up yr arse

cocksucker

+++

cunt

+++

i was in a bad enough mood

and a one percenter unicyclist

i ride a
man;s bike cunt

i woulda torn him a new arsehole

+++

i was sorely tempted

to pick up one of yr
large traffic cones and

stick it where th sun dont shine

+++
wall of voodoo
'mexican radio'
+++

how fuckin dare u

ask me

where's my other wheel

+++

die cunt

+++

slowly and horribly

+++

why's unicycling underground ?

cause we have to put up
with cunts liek that

+++

i didnt hear u make a funny

i heard u insult me

and i'm a

man

44 yrs old and

my biggest failing is

i'm a cunt

+++

and this is

brisbane

+++

i'm not paid
to smile at cunts

+++

but i did smiel at a lot of em

most of whom

were smilin back

ah unicycles

+++

wet pussie everywhere

smilin at me

+++

it's fuckin rare
a chick asks

where's yr other wheel ?

+++

i'd tell her to get fucked too

+++

i'm th wizard

i do as i fuckin pls

+++

didnt have a single cop

tell me off

+++
tool
'hooker with a penis'
+++

ran a green light with one

a pedestrian cop

goin off duty

outside city hall

didnt even look at me

+++

hit this post with a knee

huge

bang

didnt lose

any balance in th wheel and

didnt even miss th next post

a left

by memory

+++

bleep bleeped

a coupel young blades

who looked behind them and

seven foot of

muscled unicyclist

bearin down

hard

didnt u move fast little boy

+++

that one
wont be asking

where my other wheel is

+++

and i only ran about
three green lights

so sue me

+++

i went overboard

and started jumpin gutters

+++

took five roads in th wrong direction and

nearly took off

a couple council workers toes

+++

sharkey is in a
fuckin bad mood

+++
skyhooks
'why dont you all get fucked'
+++

if yr just smilin
yr pretty safe

but dont mouth off

+++

"did ya have fun sis ?"

oh yeah

+++

love that sound

of th unicycle tyre

slidin

with th background

of a pretty young thing

squeeling how fuckin cool it is

+++

cooler than that
i havent got a fuckin scratch

from today's ride

+++

fell off two gutters

roundin trees

+++

first hit one hit hard tripper

+++

we'd been talkin earlier

about goin eleven tenths

+++

if ya cant be good

get photos

fuck that man

they take enough already

+++

th tree
has lifted it;ls surroundings

that gutter edge
is about four inches

i hit it sideways and

she fell off

+++

i pulled a gorgeous runout stack

and missed th car mirror by inches

+++

easy as

+++
mash ups
'Blvd of Broken Songs' (Green Day & Oasis mash-up)
+++

no worse than
th unicycle

droppin into a hole

in th beach

at low tide

+++

but without th water

+++

this chick man

it fuckin blew her mind

+++

i was so fuckin casual

climbed back on

up on th first attempt and

straight back around th same tree

+++

yr a bad girl nippleclamp

+++

fuck that tyre is gettin bald

th slides are gettin

interesting

+++

that really wild boy um

robbie williams by name

is playin here tonight

hmm

+++

ya gotta be pretty wild in brizzy

ask billy connelly

+++

not his favourite town

+++

brizzy boy in th crowd

went to punch him out

+++

i like to run th odd
green light
it keeps em coonfused

+++
placebo
'running up that hill'
+++

u've got nice tits for a blonde

is wot i would have said

i was a little busy

gettina round th strete furniture and

takin th big hill

+++

a couple tourists

thought i;d be arrested

before i got to th end of th street

oh yeah of little faith

six yrs man

+++

<<< smile >>>

+++

it is special
to stick it up th suits

fat cunts

+++

although
a coupel today

were just grinnin man

+++

i arrived at th post sideways

and i was still
replacin th battery

in th mp3 player

and still

didnt put an arm out

just landed

at th shoulder

on th post

+++

boing

oh hello little girl

wot;s that ?

+++

sorry didnt mean to frighten u

+++

nice smile

+++

tits were average

+++

at least yr not blonde

+++

thang ya cunt

more drugs over here ...

.
.
.

+++
tenacious d
'lee'
+++

i know i havent rung back lee

mad redhead

+++

usually takes me about a week

+++
george
'release'
+++

when ya get outta hospital

ok

+++

when yr released

+++

redheads and
skin cancer
go together

real well

+++

dunno man
i dont do sunscreen

+++

every cunt used t call me

black

+++

it wasnt me ok

runnin all those green lights

did th cunt have really long wild hair ?

well there ya go

went in disguise as a maori

i think

in a beanie
and wraparound

dark safety glasses

cant believe it takes

all that fuckin hair

+++

jam a white
plain jane

bicycle helmet on top

more for th trees

than th law

got holes in it

+++

no rego plate

on a unicycle

prove it was me cunt

+++
city high
'city high anthem'
+++

"think th prototype unicycle is a give away"
touch it i'll kill u

+++

"ya have a good surf?"
fuck yeah

+++

where have th flagpole sitta's gone ?

+++
10cc
'i dont like cricket'
+++

rather get my
man's bike sideways

and listen to th little girls
squirt

+++

my other brother
th oen i dont share a head with

dont liek me
lookin liek a maori

instead of a coon
i get more respect though

out there

+++

th usual scene

th black man
from another country

is usually ok

+++

and if i travel
closer to th

edge of th island

less think i'm black at all

just bronzed aussie

+++

i'm comin home just takin my time

i dont um

make decisions

about movin into threesomes

overnight

+++

has th cutest chick in th cul de sac turned ?

swear i saw her

blow a kiss to a chick

i know her sister went gay

and then back

+++

jeez ya hate it
when i say gday by

hello little boy

just

makes ya

stick yr tits out better

u know

+++
icehouse
'love in motion'
+++

gotta love it

+++

go hard freak

one of our'n

+++

no-one else will call ya it

+++

black likes ya too

+++

i met this chick
waitin for ya

and said

tell her she's slack

for me

too

+++

dont think ya have turned but

i'll watch developments

+++

yr sister and i

have had some mad times

+++

that time

she had her girlfriend
on her lap

and we were wanderin

in my old ute

and she had a bong in her hand

smokin a cone

and we hit th

RBT

and th cop

was just pickin up

th first cone

traffic cone

and we breezed thru

funny as

+++

kuta's magic

+++

jeez man
it takes nine bourbons

before i start

collectin th walls

+++

fuckin pussies

+++
jewel
'do you want to play ?'
+++

hey kuta lady
yr eyes rolled

when i told ya
i was

naked in a bed
with a guy and a chick

but that chick
wants a child and

those condoms
are white boys condoms

just roll up
and jump off th top

well
if u didnt used ta

have bongs with me
while i had a bath

well there ya go

+++
the cranberries
'no need to argue'
+++

i'm a polite boy
i stayed in th bed
for th cuddles

with a couple rips
in th left shoulder

from low flyin trees

from surfers paradise

night life

i'm missin ya folks

+++

top song
in th playlist

now

under
all music

is

where did you sleep last night ?

+++

magical kuta

+++
violent femmes
'degradation'
+++

we got a bad name

see

ruthless religions

ah well

+++

honey of a stingless bee

+++
jewel
'this way'
+++

poor little delusioned boy
thinks i'm

gunna
get arrested

yeah ok

+++

every now and then

i send

the man

an update

on how many i;ve killed

+++

as my alter ego

009

+++

typical double o
no respect for authority

+++

look

i didnt whack th dr death

that had still to come

before th oz courts

+++

it was a beautiful
classic bone of death witchdoctor kill

we marked
dr death

in a newsgroup server and
kuta

did some
magic and

th bomb maker
for both

kuta beach bombings

took seven bullets in th head

12 days later

a doctor

dr azahari

we're happy

u happy ?

+++
robbie williams
'tripping'
+++

thanks robbie man

+++

009

has finally gotten modern and

put in a

myspace page

+++

and
SCUD

th society for cutting up bicycles

has moved in

got me banned last time

+++

but umm

+++

i wont be as forgiving this time

+++

get banned again i'll

stick a witchdoctor curse on em

and if they can read

they know it

religious freedom

+++

i wouldnt fuck with my half brother

black

+++

most witchdoctor kils
in recorded

human history
which in our ppl

goes back

tens

of thousands of yrs

+++

oldest religion on earth

+++

but we're running with th times

australian aboriginal

witchdoctor religion

+++

not the
instrument of yr death

just ask for it

all i care is

u die

+++
icehouse
'love in motion'
+++

and they put yr body
in th icehouse

seven days

plus or minus

six days

after i point th bone of death at ya

so science tells us

+++

one to fourteen days

+++

hey christopher skase

day seven

died of

natural causes

it's all good

+++

so i
put smiles on dials

for my karma
and scare th fuck

out of a lot of ppl

my job

as th witchdoctor

the lethal witchdoctor of kuta

+++

ya bombed

kuta beach

a second time

i waited 7 days

and retaliated

pointed th bone of death

from

kuta

at the islamic
terrorist cunts

the very soul of the problem pls lord

and went to bed after posting it
on th net

got out of bed

huge earthquake

in northern pakistan

they ravin on th telly

th kids

still in their religious schools

gone under th rubble

+++
the verve
'lucky man'
+++

a hundred thousand dead

+++

give or take

+++

hmm

+++

still fits

+++

with ancient rites

+++

and th witchdoctor of aus

racks up

a hundred thousand kils

because we lost

five aussies

not

we lost five

white aussies

u understand ?

+++

one mob

+++

th next
witchdoctor of kuta

to bee
appointed

is a white chick

her magic is

huge

+++

kuta lady

+++

kuta man's
life expectancy

liek all

double o's

is less than

minus five minutes

+++

i ran a couple green lights today

i apologise

is pissy of me

+++

at least

i'm not much bothered

droppin into th skatebowl

over th wall

on my modified
unicycle

"man's bike"

+++

hey black

+++
joel turner and the modern day poets
'these kids'
+++

liek all double o's
i wanna retire

but i didnt start this war
"u sure ?"

well

+++

that blood money curse
on my murdered mother's money was

seven days before

the world trade centre dropped

+++

depends on how ya read it

+++

"and we were reading when it dropped ?"

tom wolfe

the right stuff

fuckin hard page to read

wacthin th towers burning

on th telly

and look down
page three

and this guy is

bein burnt alive

in aviation fuel

+++

wot it is

to be psychic

+++

and in touch with th land

+++

i will get u osama

+++

didnt go down
with th kiddies u employ

in th caves

+++

yr beef
so ya said

is with all earthly religions

+++

means we're at

war

+++

allied as i am

although loosely

with th oz gummint

+++

australian border security

agent 009 reporting for duty

i know i'm a month early

i love my job

+++
the panel
'closing theme'
+++

it all cums in opposites

+++
joslyn rechter
'the habenara'(from carmen)
+++

hey robbie williams

i proposed to an old friend of yrs

a yr to th day before she got married

on th net

one nicole kidman

i pull up today

to go surfin in brisbane
yr playin here tonight

to a packed house

sinkin a bourbon
before takin off

and this chick
bops by

a blonde
in a car

with th number plate

NIC 333

by memory

and i just

fuckin lost it man

+++

fuck off

+++

no seriously

fuck off

+++

who's stalkin who

+++
28th street crew
'cosmic gate-fire wire'
+++

brizzy copped it

+++

poor brizvegas

+++

wot's th mad black cunt on th
strange unicycle

goin off about today

+++

course
my
psychic blog
would have it all backwards

propose to th bitch
on th same date

she got married and

be ravin about a picture i did for her

from romeo and juliet

we fuckin knew

+++

for 12 months

+++
powderfigner
'since you've been gone'
+++

not fair kuta

+++

not fuckin fair

+++

half brick on standby

.
.
.

the edge was
a little closer today

love ya's fuckin HARD

.
.
.

pirate jenny
and
"black - 009"

in

the adventures of the land surfer

+++
p.s.

+++
the verve
'this time'
+++