> I keep flashing back to childhood memories that I don't remember
> having. They have really been troubling me for some time. It is kind
> of like a archetypal garden of eden, adam & eve memory. I remember
> waking up one night and creeping quitely upstairs when I heard a man
> yelling at my father. He was dressed in a dark suit, and carried a
> briefcase. He said it was about a fire... but I don't remember there
> ever being a fire.. A fire he said I started. I felt like it was a
> metaphor. I'm remembering now that the man wasn't an official.. And
> my mother was in bed.. She still has the same dream. He was a
> criminal.. He yelled at me to go back to bed, my mother slept through
> it. The next day my dad had a stroke, and went to he hospital.. He
> wasn't ever the same, and couldn't talk after that.
>
> Tonight I had another flashback, remembering my dad talking to me
> about his Will, and the home we owned. He told me that if I didn't
> Fuck Up Again, I would be taken care of.. After that, my whole life
> changed. I must have been 13. We used to live in a big castle, out
> in the middle of the most beautiful nature preserve. Native Americans
> would come and hold sweat lodges every week, and they would come from ...

>
> Anyone know anything of these types of flashbacks, or how to make
> sense of them?
>

> I keep flashing back to childhood memories that I don't remember
> having. They have really been troubling me for some time. It is kind
> of like a archetypal garden of eden, adam & eve memory. I remember
> waking up one night and creeping quitely upstairs when I heard a man
> yelling at my father. He was dressed in a dark suit, and carried a
> briefcase. He said it was about a fire... but I don't remember there
> ever being a fire.. A fire he said I started. I felt like it was a
> metaphor. I'm remembering now that the man wasn't an official.. And
> my mother was in bed.. She still has the same dream. He was a
> criminal.. He yelled at me to go back to bed, my mother slept through
> it. The next day my dad had a stroke, and went to he hospital.. He
> wasn't ever the same, and couldn't talk after that.
>
> Tonight I had another flashback, remembering my dad talking to me
> about his Will, and the home we owned. He told me that if I didn't
> Fuck Up Again, I would be taken care of.. After that, my whole life
> changed. I must have been 13. We used to live in a big castle, out
> in the middle of the most beautiful nature preserve. Native Americans
> would come and hold sweat lodges every week, and they would come from ...

> For a long time I thought the only problems I had were from being
> ugly, and using drugs.

> surface. The only really scary memory I had growing up, was seeing a
> man shot & bleed to death in the desert on vacation.. At least that
> comes to mind. Now that I'm older I feel like I have to watch my back
> because I try to be of service to the community and report criminals,
> because I don't want people winding up with as many problems as I
> have.

>The medication I take has terrible side effects that give me
> seizures at night. I had put on so much weight since I started taking
> it too, I look like someone completely different, and all the good
> pictures of myself I had in highschool have dissapeared. Along with
> so many other memories, including my origonal social security card.<

> Yeah!!! It is all starting to RESURFACE now! I'm having memories
> clearing things up, that aren't even memories.

> his kid I know doesn't know how to take any responsibility for himself.
> He still drives around drunk & high, gets into car accidents & takes
> people to court.

> On Aug 9, 7:15 pm, CoreyWhite gmail.com> wrote:
>

>> For a long time I thought the only problems I had were from being
>> ugly, and using drugs.

>
> No one is ugly Corey. Just people who make us feel ugly. Drugs, yes
> can be a life long haunt, I suppose if enough damage was done by LSD.
>