Subject: Part Four of Lost Bloggers of the Outernet
Newsgroups: bigpond news:alt.bible.prophecy
Date: Sun, 12 Aug 2007 22:38:41 +1000
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Subject: Part Four of Lost Bloggers of the Outernet
Newsgroups: bigpond
news:alt.fiction.original,alt.flame.pascal,alt.flashback
One of my babies is missing
+++
[umm boss]
[we found an escape pod in one of the]
[baby spaceship catch nets]
[from th passenger liner we snotted]
[we have a survivor]
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 16:13:31]
+++
Moby
'Porcelain'
+++
thank you jenny.exe
+++
make her comfortable and
i'll contact th insurance mob
with cover on th
unfortunate liner
+++
we cant give th bitch a ship
she'll have to sue th insurance company
+++
"hmm"
+++
[deal made with insurance mob they'll]
[take that 243 km long baby ship we]
[wanna get rid of]
+++
ok we stick th bitch in it and
send it back to civilisation
no wurries
+++
[she doesnt agree]
[wants to talk to th captain]
+++
how far down th ship is she ?
[fifty thousand kilometres]
tell her to get fucked
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 16:17:27]
+++
The Kinks
'Starstruck'
+++
[she still wants to speak to th captain]
have u told her th passenger cabin
doesnt meet th crew quarters
takes a spacewalk
+++
[yes]
[she still arguin]
tell her th truth
i'm allergic to women
+++
[still doin her nut]
put th bitch on screen
+++
hi
look
i'm sorry my ship
ate yr ship but
i'm just followin th law
my ship done a deal with th iunsurance mob already
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 16:20:00]
+++
Basement Jaxx
'Where's Your Head At'
+++
i cant give u a ship legally
u will be placed on an oversize baby ship
and sent back to civilisation
if u steal th fuckin thing
on th way
not my problem
end transmission computer
+++
ok ship
my inventory shows
two ships left when she departed
+++
RING RING
+++
RING RING
+++
pick that up will ya
+++
gday
+++
no
we despatched a 243 km long shark class space ship to u
waddya mean ya didnt receive it
+++
oh
a hundred kilometre
baby space ship
arrived empty
instead
no passenger
+++
hmm
+++
jenny.exe
front and centre
did u help this woman steal that ship ?
+++
i apologise
my ship
appears to have cut another deal
+++
end transmission
+++
fuk im
+++
at that size they
worth th same money
+
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 16:24:36]
+++
A Perfect Circle
'The Nurse who Loved Me'
+++
tell im to read his guide to
space ship prices
and stop bothering me
th bill is paid
fuck off
+++
se walked away with
far more than they would have paid her
how was her trip down th
escape pod
deceleration tube
ok
+++
lucky bitch
she musta been in it
when we took out th liner
was inspecting it hey
doin a drill
lucky she had th door closed
saved her life
+++
psychic cow
+++
i agree with th ships actions
put it in th log
+++
wendy
we'll meet again
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 16:27:53]
+++
Amy Winehouse
'Rehab'
+++
had th stones to
leave a record in my log
complaining
she only got a third full belly in th craft
sheesh
+++
she bounces back fast
+++
i dunno
th beast had just had
a full refit of it;s
mouth
a new and larger set of teeth and
+++
th nerve of er
+++
insurance mob;s comuters
say she didnt have any relatives on th liner
and our apolgies int h record
hit at over light speed
fair and square
we didnt have to pay off
+++
dont give me this
trauma shit
this is normal life
+++
magic bitch
was lucky enough
to escape a
quarter million kilometre long
spaceship
takin out her liner and
eatin it
whiel i was asleep
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 16:31:40]
+++
Various Artists
'Jefferson Airplane / White rab'
+++
isnt she smart enough to sell her story
jenny
release th pics to th media and
show th vid of
of her goin down th
deceleration tube
+++
and hack into th pod's
memory
+++
lets see her walkin into it
and closin th door
+++
ok send that bit to her only
+++
she owes me a hundred kilometre long
baby ship
th first
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 16:34:12]
+++
4 Non Blondes
'?'
+++
one her ship builds
will be sent back to us
send it
+++
she not happy but
i control her computer
+++
th ship will send it back
+++
stop bitchin
it half built already
clingin to th hull
+++
doin my bookwork
+++
drug time
.
.
.
[boss i count 203 little ships]
[currently feeding from th]
[gills of th mother ship debris]
[do we need that ship back?]
+++
no but
it's th principal of th thing
i didnt mind her stealin a ship
whose idea was it to t give those cunts one
all gone silent
+++
[nuclear explosion off th poort bow
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 16:39:31]
+++
Visage
'Fade to grey (Remix)'
+++
]
+++
its one of ours isnt it ?
+++
[nother one just gone off, off th starboard bow]
+++
BOOM
[cascade boss]
[th whole ship's batteries]
[all just decided to unload one]
+++
[we must of taken in too much plutonium in th last week]
+++
[we could raise th stores count]
[and make another storage bunker]
too many onboard now
+++
just make sure th batteries are
stopped from loosin off excess
when we got company
"unless attacked"
+++
not goin fast enough
otherwise we 'd throw em out th rear
wastin energy
and goin too slow
+++
fuckin sharks
+++
throw five percent of our nuclear arsenal out th rear end
and lets get th fuck out of here
+++
got five different propulsion systems and
so much redundancy
always a trail of matter we dont want
waftin out th bum
+++
[crazi ivan]
thanks for th headsup
i'm already hangin on to something
+++
[clearing datum]
.
.
.
+++
ZAP
+++
moreliek fly
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 16:46:08]
+++
Tokyo Ghetto Pussy
'Tokyo Ghetto Pussy - I Want Yo'
+++
ing submarines
+++
break out th ship's bong
SMOKO
.
.
.
[one of th baby ships doin point duty has reported]
[a BOrg vessel]
th cunts dont know how dangerous
solipsism is do they
[no]
+++
is it small enough to fit in our gob ?
[we could swallow it whole but]
[these are Borg]
our last run in was
nasty
+++
hmm
+++
[they not stupid enough to]
[use a tractor beem on us again]
[sucked thirty shark ships right thru it]
+++
not to mention
th big btich
much bigger gravitational object than them
keeps draggin you to it;s
mouth
doesnt have to move to eat
+++
have they opened com's ?
[no]
[playing dead]
[no lights]
+++
have they scanned th mother ship yet ?
+++
[they know there only one human life sign aboard]
[the bee hiive condfuised them]
th stingless bees will do that to ya
+++
it bigger than their normal
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 16:53:40]
+++
Big Audio Dynamite II
'The Globe'
+++
cube
+++
[we dont need th mass boss]
[still doin repairs frm our last encounter]
+++
how'd we come out of it ?
[about even]
+++
well if they arent threatening any humans then
i spose we can leave em bee
+++
[they'll follow us]
they can eat my dust
not th only ones
+++
relax jenny
nuthing can find a human
inside of one of these things
+++
cant even read my life signs but
they knwo who we are
+++
got more armour around my
ships bridge than
they got around their whole
cube
+++
[yeah but their new armour is]
[shark class space ship teeth]
+++
[we dont break up hulls boss]
[throw em into stars]
+++
[we made it, we cant break it]
+++
jenny
we destroy black holes as
a matter of daily business
these fuckers are wipe outable
+++
[no they;re not]
+++
but they wont touch us
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 16:59:37]
+++
The Kinks
'Better Things'
+++
it's a
quarter of amillion kilometres long and
we stopped it growin any longer
we can turn th feature back on but
there isnt much a
quarter million click long shark
need fear
+++
vapourizes most of it;s prey
in th intial attack at over light speed
all that mass behind th mouth
+++
we could take that cube
theoretically
+++
leave remote probes and
have th odd one return to th ship with a report
+++
[no use insto communicator?]
no
they;ve cracked it
+++
[ok boss]
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 17:02:38]
+++
Golden Earring
'Radar Love'
+++
come hoem to mummy and
tell me wot th cunts have been up to
+++
they so good at electronical jamming
we gone low tech
+++
film and
mechanical devices
+++
[doin translation to computer readable format]
+++
[here's th mpegs]
+++
bein selective wot they use for mass
but interesting
+++
yr right
it is growin
+++
got a shark class space ship
dermal skin
+++
well lasers
are gunna be in trouble meetin that
+++
keep an eye on
how thick they building and
keep in mind we can tip th
horizon of a black hole
anytime we want to
we still cartin that singularity ?
+++
it;s a fuckin heavy tail
+++
she eject so much mass
when she asked to
we have to keep checking th inventory
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 17:09:06]
+++
Wolfmother
'Minds eye'
+++
i can think of
maybe five ways
i can use wot we got
to wipe yr cube
off my viewscreen but
u cunts are evrywhere
+++
got other smart critters to go hunt
that soem mad human dreamt up
or
alien
+++
fortunately
most of them
think small
+++
th kind of critters who
only wanna run th planet
they livin on
fuck that;s thinkin small
+++
think big
+++
th size of my shark spaceship gives me
a fair degree of immunity
+++
and even in th ships gig
a mere hundred kilometres long
not much can swallow us
and live to tell th tale
+++
not th standard model
and
th mother ship
behaves like shark
it swallow u with
me inside it and
i still come out unscathed
+++
been there
done that
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 17:14:11]
+++
?
'?'
+++
nicole kidman
sparkling diamond
+++
all those huge diamonds
in th mouth of th leviathan
+++
th amount of planets we had to crack and
still crack
for raw materials
+++
th borg know abou th other
hundred thousand or so
who counts
of over hundred thousand kilomtere long sharks
+++
if we blow u up fine enough we can
just all wander thru th mess
we'll reclaim th metals
+++
just thinkin out loud
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 17:16:57]
+++
City High
'Caramel (Remix)'
+++
he didnt fuckin threaten me on this meeting
+++
we not picard
+++
magic is
makin th borg spin their heads
+++
i dont ask th navy
how big they build
they get th cream of resources
+++
bump into em occasionally
my ship too big for them
+++
havent had to call
them
for rescue
+++
when th navy claims a system
no life signs in it and
they takin everything
they shoot at everything
+++
i'm th same
+++
fuck off cunts
find yr own
+++
read th posted warnings on th way in
+++
got 230 odd baby ships
runnin around feeding while
th big mother
blowin up all th planets
one by one
+++
its a fuckn mess at th moment
+++
whoops
just ate a baby
and spat it out th gill
+++
a bit of hull damage no
worries
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 17:22:12]
+++
Hunters and Collectors
'The Slab'
+++
baby ships
comin to th mouth of th mother ship
and
droppin morsels down its gullet
+++
little buggers are full
preprocessing now
+++
wot's that fuckin plaent made up of jenny ?
+++
ok crack th fuckin thing open
+++
RING RING
when we're done feedin th beasts jenny
+++
if it other human shark ships
they can wait
+++
nice little gas giant
wot have u got in yr heart
i can use
+++
release th baby sharks
+++
ah man
make em disgorge their full loads into th mother ship and
start anew
+++
start packin fill segments with
raw mixed high grade mass and
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 17:26:13]
+++
Nirvana
'Paper Cuts'
+++
lets chop that mess down to
an eatable size for th rest of humanity
+++
when they've all
flown thru here and
thinned it out considerably
they'll blow th star
so thick in this bit of space
there another a light yr distant
+++
.
.
.
ok
major feeding operations are over for now
recall all our babies and
we'll leave wot;s left to th other sharks
we're outta here
pick a direction jenny
oh and
pack me a bong
.
.
.
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 17:30:23]
+++
Limp Bizkit
'Rollin (Uncensored)'
+++
a month frm now
i'll have another five hundred
hundred kilometre long
baby ships
all clamouring for food
mindless missiles
+++
stoppin th bitch growin has
some expected consequences
+++
gift two hundred of th new batch to
nigel six and
have em send emselves to em
as soon as they all tested
+++
their war with nigel five is gettin bloody
+++
[the man will give a similar number to nigel fiv
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 17:34:06]
+++
Metalica
'The Unnamed Feeling'
+++
e]
+++
it'll stop em arguing
at least with guns
+++
a bit of feeding and
th ship's computers will start makin
bigger weapon systems
+++
[hardwired in]
+++
it;s alive dude
+++
u cant kill it
+++
fuckin wendy
at 243 clicks long
she got a ship
that can crack planets
[and eat em]
+++
[the human compact]
+++
it'll keep growing
and it;ll keep having babies
who u give em to is
sometime;s th ship's decision
+++
all of em are linked and
always will be
a shark hive
+++
if u obtain one and
dont speak english
u have to learn th language to fly it
otherwise it just sit there
it;ll still eat
+++
oh it will crack yr language but
it only respond to
english tongue commands
kind of important over light speed
+++
u better learn then
enough supplies onboard a baby ship to
keep u alive five yrs or more
th ship always catchin somethin
+++
it wont attack another shark class ship
on purpose
u gotta be smarter than th ship
difficult
+++
u'll learn to think in english
and that makes u
talkable to
+++
if yr language any good
we'll steal bits of it
+++
our history
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 17:41:15]
+++
1200 Techniques
'Karma'
+++
otherwise ya couldnt deal with
traffic control
when ya hit th
denser bits of
so called empty space
+++
u got no idea
hwo many shark class ships
are out there
we dont either
+++
none of th ship's
would fill out th e man;s
census form
+++
we know they;re out there but
+++
space is big
+++
so yr lost dude
ya gotta near impervious spaceship
why sit on yr arse
+++
too small to crack solar systems yet but
go and play in an asteroid belt for a whiel man
is fun at speed
+++
it'll make ya a better pilot and
yr ship will grow and
make things u aint got now
+++
arent u into th ships help system yet ?
dickhead
+++
th first port of call
+++
if u articulate th word help
th ships computer will respond with
it;s standard greeting
which u can change
+++
hey cunt is
still considered crude
+++
gorgeous
female head appears
a hologram
hey cunt
how ya goin ?
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 17:46:51]
+++
Korn
'Korn - Mr. Rogers'
+++
my name is jenny.exe
+++
a pleasure to meet u mr rogers
+++
he's lying
it;s australian slang i speak
+++
not english at all
+++
well
+++
can i help u ?
+++
a list of all th things th ship can build
that arent currently available
[proscribed]
+++
u'll be informed
frm time to time
wot has been added
+++
less u catch it
+++
i'm sorry
it always building nuclear weapons
part of th
emergency drive system and
defense and
for feeding man
+++
breaks big chunks into little chunks
+++
occasionall
yif th racks are full
a cascade will go off and
we get a light show
full length of th ship
+++
means th ship is
well stocked
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 17:52:09]
+++
Noosha Fox
'Only you can (Single Version)'
+++
wot did she just say ?
playin ancient music computer
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 17:52:58]
+++
Pink Floyd
'Echoes'
+++
and again
+++
th gravity indicator
doesnt tell me its
a borg cube but
ya get a feeling for these
things
+++
when five or six of th big buggers
sharks
have come up and sniffed it
they'll move along
+++
if to many of us
free agensts
come up and sniff at it
th navy will intrude
+++
fuck knows wot they;d do
+++
dont seem to be sharing their rulebook
+++
all i know is
nigel four
pays tax to em
+++
nigel five and
nigel six are
hangin around
different stars and
are still arguing
+++
mad cunts
+++
[black hole alert]
cant u see these things earlier ?
+++
[it not listed]
+++
where's it headed ?
+++
we werent on divergent paths
just followin th curve
nup
we wouldnt have met
+++
waddya mean it';s fuckin turned ?
+++
cunt
+++
give it th singularity and
not too much else pls
just enough to tip it it over
+++
i want my singularity back
+++
.
.
.
ok we're trackin
set th controls for th heart of
wot was th black hole and
hang on
+++
my precious
so handy
+++
put her back in th tail and
replenish supplies out of th mess
+++
always feel naked when
th huge arse is off on a job
+++
tail snaps off
like a terrestrial lizard
got soem on board
pets
big goannas
livin on a desert plain
it;s a big ship
+++
i like to ride thru their playground on one wheel
got mad cunts disease
+++
put all th footage of th
black hole
spewin everythin back out
in my blog
with my usual
unappropriate words and
claim th bounty dear
+++
they make th geld out of th footage
yr ship will do these things one day
+++
th black holes ar getting smarter
+++
i dunno
is is t a plasma life form ?
when one dies
th psychic in me
squeels and
thrills with th kill
is big
+++
knocks me psychically for a week
i read about it coming for a week though
in my diary so
is all good
+++
wobmble feeling in th tummy
when ya kill one and
we so far off
it;s horizon
+++
it fucking streamed man
+++
liek a huge teardrop
+++
i dont think we got it all
+++
i got four hundred views of th
implosion explosion but
we still missed much
i'm still watchin it
+++
one singularity and
a pinch
+++
keep throwin shit at it
all th heavy stuff
our tail grown so heavy
+++
fuckit
blow th whole tail section
+++
that got im
+++
greedy fucker
+++
cause it;s black
and fadin off into th distance
it fuckin hard to see
did we get it all
that end was runnin away
did it tear ?
+++
we'd have to ask
our wheelchair bound genius
none of th films got it
+++
that much mass here now
we cant see if
it threw a singularity of it;s own and
split
+++
[i think part of it just collapsed again]
+++
its not fuckin here now
+++
th dot in our tail
is telling me
it's brother got away
+++
we gotta get better at catchin em
+++
mine;s happy enough
always stops to be picked up again
stops dead relative
+++
our catch rate is dismal
one in a thousand
across th fleet
+++
we feed em well they just
liek to be free
+++
with that thing in th tail
all i i have t do mr borg
is face u
+++
teeth first
+++
u'll end up at th tail
i promise u
+++
like sand thru th hourglass
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 18:16:38]
+++
james blunt
'?'
+++
why we keep th shark class moving
just liek it;s namesake
it always eating
+++
it'll eat anything
literally
anything
+++
a star
a gas giant planet
a black hole
+++
havent caused a supernova
just to feed th ship yet but
it probly happen
+++
space is
big
+++
some prick always complainin
i liekd that star
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 18:23:28]
+++
Marianne Faithfull
'Pirate Jenny'
+++
ah well
i stole that
+++
[ i have a distress call]
[coming in]
[from the mining ship red dwarf]
it;s a tv show dear
we've had this conversation
[solipsism boss]
+++
so th real dave lister is still squeeling then
+++
pencil it in jenny but
its a fuckin small ship
+++
not worth stealing
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 18:27:51]
+++
Kylie Minogue
'Red Blooded Woman'
+++
that fuckin kochanski bitch
+++
i could see her drivin a shark class space ship
a big fat bitch
+++
could ya imagien th bitch arguin with th ships computer
[the ship has to eat]
[otherwise we die]
+++
[sometimes other beings are killed in this process]
[this is called life]
+++
[th machine will not let u kill it]
+++
it'll go hunting when yr asleep otherwise
rackin up fines
better to get along with it
+++
otherwise u too will wake up one morning
with th ships computer informing u
[we drove thru a five thousand ppl luxury liner]
[during th ships night]
[the pigs on th phone]
+++
why wasnt i woken up
[th damage was done]
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 18:32:17]
+++
A Perfect Circle
'Thinking of You'
+++
thnk u
didnt disturb my sleep
+++
th bitch was onboard for three hours
befor ei was told
+++
u had a good gossip with her didnt ya jenny
+++
presented it to me as a fait accompli
encourage th bitch to steal th ship
we send her back in
it not keyed to anyone yet
just break open th envelope and
read th directions
+++
anyway
they got a tougher spaceship
to run their passengers on and
their safety record should go up
now
+++
it was fdoin over light speed
hunting
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 18:36:55]
+++
Roberta Flack
'The First time Ever I saw Your'
+++
BLAM
+++
wot was tht ?
+++
jenny.exe just doen a booboo
my bad
+++
my bad
i blame th random number generator
it was flyin th ship
lookin for mass
+++
hmm
+++
should i wake th idiot human ?
+++
thinking is...
+++
no he'll yell at me
+++
we got one survival pod
with a character alive in it and
we'll process her
+++
sleep paultje
+++
i've go tthis
oversize baby with
a few things it shouldnt have that
th ship wont give back its
inventory
we been arguin with it for
a long time
it bigger than most
+++
u welcome to it
we fond of it
+++
tricked up thing
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 18:41:15]
+++
Scribe
'Not Many (Remix)'
+++
was th runt of th litter
no-one could figure it out
+++
it's bigger than all it;s brother and sister craft
now
we keep track of em
+++
and put in th size limits
according to
well
+++
as long as
jenny.exe
takes her runnin code
frm th master vessel
+++
her updates
which she needs
+++
its th how to
of how to build th;latest and
greatest gadgets
with what we got now
+++
machine dna
+++
yr ship
falls behind th other
shark class vessels and
they can take ya
+++
and th machine wont
update unless
it looked after
properly
+++
u receive new drive specs
over th outernet and
it cme sou tof th machien shop
a week later
to be installed on one engine pod
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 18:46:05]
+++
Ted Mulry Gang
'JUMP IN MY CAR'
+++
a little
test drive
+++
whiel we run th performance figures
+++
ok we'll install three thousand of these
+++
give em a larger trial over
a greater percentage of th ship
still not enough to bother th whole
+++
dont trust their figures
run yr own tests
+++
negotiate a license fee and
fuck that
steal th cunt outright and
+++
jenny.exe now floggin her own version
+++
five percent more thrust than th navy's and
we ran em thru hell to get th figures
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 18:49:04]
+++
?
'?'
+++
beth gibons and rustin man
sand river
+++
a sand river
is close computer
+++
very good
for yr nxt trick
.
.
.
+++
shower time
play amongst myself
.
.
.
[pirate jenny can u get black's attention for me]
that's never easy
+++
"hi little jenny"
[i cant give u th info u asked about-how many versions of me]
[are currently running]
+++
u not supposed to operate thru time
not anywhere in our specs
[isnt yr gift th same ?]
touche
+++
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 19:01:45]
+++
Do Re Mi
'1000 Mouths'
+++
i never shoudl ahve written that
wobblie random number generator wheel
+++
oh
got three of em runnin
now
feedin th song chooser
+++
th hearing code isnt ready jenny
it over complicated
black's
waitin for it to gell
+++
stuck his nose in it again yesterday and
u know th man
nuthin happens
and nuthin happens and then
there;s a deluge
+++
and back to
[Song data auto inserted by jenny.exe at 19:05:07]
+++
R
