> whyzard wrote:

>> mila wrote:

>>> intense semi-intellectual semi-therapeutic semi-egoicslime
>>> semi-OCDconstruction focus upon myself.
>>>
>>> natural result of self breakdown, keeps little me from slipping away or

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>> take a break.
>> rest
>> not just you, all of your other personalities too!!!
>> and you've probably got parallel dimensions happening
>> so you gotta rest once for each parallel timeline too.
>> and you probably think you're God, so you're gonna have to rest on the
>> seventh day of each week
>> and you probably think the CIA is watching you, so i think its time to
>> quit the KGB. Or at least go on vacation.
>> of course, if its space aliens then you're justified to stress out
>> cause them space aliens got ufos and robots and all that so they can
>> time travel and stuff like that. Can't do nothing about the space
>> aliens
>> all that other stuff though, is just your imagination scaring you
>> although imaginary space aliens might present some degree of difficulty
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> "just" your imagine.
> almost made the mistake of common sense
> common sense is sensing the uncommon
> where does imagination come from?
> from whence comes its fantasies?
>
> you have very nice prose
> try writing out some stories and use the same characters over and over
> again
> here you have a cobraman and a gorillaman.
> make a story for them or let them make one for you
> like maybe write a story about you going out to lunch with them
> let the narrative unfold by itself spontaneously and let the characters
> do or think what they want.
> with enough practice eventually you will be able to get your
> imagination to take on a life of its own.
> your characters will seem to have autonomy and great infinite wisdom
> yet it is all coming from you

> think about it, your DNA is so complex, that if you put input sensors
> and output controls on each rung of the genetic ladder of just one
> strand of dna you would have a computer powerful enough to account for
> every facet of your life. Now, you have billions upon billions of these
> genetic supercomputers. Any one of these is powerful enough to write
> stories make up characters, create dreams, make fantasies, make
> daydreams, etc.
>
> although you can get lost in the exercise too. The characters can take
> on a life of their own and become parasitic on you and drain all your
> attention time. Nietzsche pretty much invented this writing method for
> the west. And he went even crazier cause he let the fictions take over
> his life. The point of the exercise though is to show you that your
> imagination is very powerful and can do very miraculous things. Not
> only do you respect the products of your mind, you also have to realize
> that they are just your own fictions. Not necessarily reality, yet also
> sometimes just as real. Give reality and fiction both their space and
> respect.
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>>> into pieces.
>>> also a death-parade presentation.
>>> the relief of my death and reposession by grace.
>>>
>>> the intense attention to self and at the same time distance is a
>>> symptom of a large %% of genXY, peeking beyond ourselves only to examine
>>> our genXY comrades and likemind hero personas not unlike the hippies
>>> did.
>>> this resulted from the breakdown of ww2 and the 60's and the 60's
>>> parents.
>>> in which old structures were exposed and dismissed and we ended up
>>> being brought up without a clear Way by retired revolutionaries and
>>> hypocrites without a clue how to play or who to be.
>>> the world was a shit hole before and now we know, disregard the old
>>> value systems and games and haven't found much of any replacement or
>>> way or newself, so we're focused upon it with anxiety.
>>>
>>> IVP (Inner Voice Practice-Processing) appeals to this tendency aswell
>>> as my desire to control your minds.
>>>
>>> they CAN'T (this is what i Can't understand) understand how much they
>>> mean to me. i felt every twitch of meani-ness and blankness of
>>> concern.
>>>
>>> in close relationships my sensitivity is attached to selfconsciousness
>>> which to any high sensitive in this reality would mean a victimised
>>> sense of self and desire to isolate or escape somewhere without these
>>> love- imperfect beings driving us to insanityism and forcing us to
>>> fight fight with fight with self disgust and weak control over these
>>> sharp and fiery feelings everyone else appears to be born with the gift
>>> of wielding naturally.
>>> but as some self assertion is satisfied to apoint that a sensitive
>>> neither feels victimised nor feels it to be a necessary rule to defend
>>> oneself the sensitivity may finally turn away from self defense and
>>> fear and simply feel all of the people touching it.
>>> there is a sense of motherly care of unconditional love growing.
>>>
>>> you have to be careful of sensitives becoming cruel because when they
>>> are they're worse than a bitch...
>>>
>>> I like to feel you twist.
>>> I like to know you bleed.
>>> tell me how it hurts.
>>> feed my bitter seeds.
>>>
>>> so as genXY grows older into controlling this world I believe there is
>>> this fiery defense and warefare aspect that will still come out on a
>>> larger scale than an upset highschool student is capable.
>>> and mixed with this is the possibility of deep cruelty if we don't
>>> continue to grow beyond ourself, aswell as stupid insensitives huffing
>>> themselves up with us dragging it down (but they are being turned to
>>> the purpose).
>>>
>>> an outburst is Very necessary.
>>>
>>> eventually is this sensitivity growing into an awareness of everyone
>>> with interest and "motherly compassion" feelings.
>>>
>>> KingKong is the generally positive rage reaction to this self-snagged
>>> sensitivity to others leading to a hopefully controlled assertion.
>>> CobraMan is this intellectualized cruelty and poison transformation of
>>> the sensitive self given up to a stronger evil capable of handling
>>> things better than he can.
>>> cobraman is the aspect of myself i fear.
>>> the part i don't trust and reason i'm afraid of practicing magick or
>>> even unintended leakage of this venom.
>>> as my normal self this energy presence has me jumping about like a
>>> monkey i n a snake pit and my protectivity mechanisms go nuts trying to
>>> shield those i love. in fact ive only started consciously talking about
>>> this issue to myself because im so afraid of people being hurt that i
>>> don't want words to strengthen the issue, but it's way too late for
>>> that.
>>>
>>> if any force is pure evil this is it.
>>> the only compassion possible for it is knowing the alchemy it resulted
>>> from (the history of the individual) and perhaps the "evil" part we had
>>> to play in its making.
>>> only someone who was very sensitive and aware is capable of such a
>>> depth of fucking evil, and only one who has experienced it upon
>>> themselves.
>>> but in that person driven by that force all pussy identification with
>>> helpless hurting and SOSing is annihilated as self assertion turns to
>>> revenge turns to the blood lust of children who like to kill.
>>>
>>> the faces of the child. (we will always be children)
>>>
>>> KingKong is the rage of the picked on illiterate Hunchback poet in
>>> drag. lol
>>> the big brother who has been there too, and fights knowing only that he
>>> has a right to be who he is until deeper wisdom sets in.
>>>
>>> intellectually conscious cruelty. = lack of love.
>>>
>>> CobraMan cannot exist as a loved being.
>>> opposition reinforces his existence.
>>> he doesn't want love he wants frightened respect and disgust.
>>> he eclipses the needy child and despises its revealing by stupid
>>> softhearts who all turn on him, all with little self awareness (he
>>> spits).
>>> but cobraman is an intense pathalogical split off from KingKongs
>>> "outbursts".
>>>
>>> i'm not liddle!
>>>
>>> hitler was a cobraman.
>>> his misconception of the NewMan as based on this slip. but it's a
>>> misconception that may yet make itself true.
>>>
>>> 'The new man is living amongst us now! He is here!' exclaimed Hitler,
>>> triumphantly. 'Isn't that enough for you? I will tell you a secret.
>>> I have seen the new man. He is intrepid and cruel. I was afraid of
>>> him.'