> On 8 Sep, 23:38, HG wrote:

>> Executive Function hotmail.com> writes:

>>> On 2 Sep, 18:53, mika gmail.com> wrote:

>>>> On Sep 2, 3:09 am, Executive Function  wrote:

>>

>>>>>   I didn't like the way you
>>>>> automatically assumed I must have misinterpreted the threat though (I
>>>>> didn't).  You could have asked for clarification about that first.

>>

>>>> Even if you didn't misinterpret the threat, it is irrelevant.  You
>>>> have two choices:  live your own life as you choose according to your
>>>> own nature, or live a life based on other peoples' desires and
>>>> expectations.

>>

>>>> Every time you are provided with a suggested course of action to deal
>>>> with your shit, you come up with some excuse why you can't take that
>>>> action.  This claim that people are out to get you, whether accurate
>>>> or fantasy, is just another attempt to avoid facing and dealing with
>>>> the actual practical work you need to do (that is, you would need to
>>>> do if you actually wanted to address the problems you have been asking
>>>> for advice about here).

>>

>>> If we would/were to compare ourselves as akin to musicians when we
>>> work together, then I would be the drummer to your violin Mika.  I can
>>> look after the beat but outside of the gig I need a bit of help.  It's
>>> a trade off.

>>

>>> Yesterday I was in a hotel, in complete meltdown, and asked my ex to
>>> take me to the nearest psychiatric place because looking at myself
>>> from the third person I knew that a fuse or two was not working
>>> upstairs, and willing yourself to die for a few hours whilst propped
>>> up against the corner in fetal position was a definate no no.

>>

>>> If I could simply do what I want without overload or meltdown then I
>>> would have much more options practically - but as I have to work with
>>> what I've got (including brain damage from birth because our genetics
>>> don't react kindly to drugs and birth trauma) then no matter how
>>> intellegent I seem to be ordinarily then I have to give over my
>>> independance and decision making sometimes.  And this is very scarey -
>>> and all I want in such times is to feel safe, because when I am like
>>> this there is so much going on up top that I am very
>>> ssssssslllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

>>

>>> To be a practical aspie - I have to take this shit into account.  If
>>> people would give me advice while taking this into account like I have
>>> to - I might get much better advice i think.

>>

>>> I've met a lot of aspies that stay with thier parents and never move
>>> out of thier own personal comfort zone wey beyond the norm, and others
>>> who just put up with the overload and the meltdowns and try and 'go
>>> for it', whatever 'it' is.  I really would like some good advice from
>>> this forum, and occaisionally I've got it.  You, Tom, Erwin, and
>>> (*very* appropriately at the time, (he knew it, and you didn't))
>>> Archangel, have all helped me at one time or another, and I truely
>>> appreciate that as the years come and go.

>>

>>> My relationships with people, whether online or off are very important
>>> to me, whether I show that or not, and more often I do not.  Sometimes
>>> I have all the emotional intelligent response of a teaspoon
>>> unfortunately.

>>
>> You know, E.F., I have an idea.  Let's have a fucked-upness competition.
>>
>> You tell your sob story, then I'll tell mine, trying to out-misery yours.
>>
>> Then you'll tell more horrible things about how your life sucks, again
>> attemting to take the lead in misery and fucked-upness.
>>
>> Eventually, one of us will concede and the other is declared winner.
>>
>> But you know what?  One funny thing:
>>
>> No matter who wins - how much has that wallowing in misery and self-pity
>> helped either of us to live a better life from now on?
>>
>> Zero.
>> Zilch.
>> Zip.
>> Nada.
>>
>> And let's repeat what Mika said: "Every time you are provided with a
>> suggested course of action to deal with your shit, you come up with some
>> excuse why you can't take that action."
>>
>> And look!  In the post I'm replying to, you're *doing just that*.
>>
>>                 HG- Hide quoted text -
>>
>> - Show quoted text -

>
> Acknowledged HG. And I despise myself when I'm fucked about and I try
> and be brave. I get angry with myself about 2 seconds after I have
> went into 'poor me' mode, and then - I'm still dealing with meltdown.
> And I'm NOT rejecting advice HG - I'm just saying - it needs to be
> framed within longer time zone with a few different priorities to
> work, because I have to be working for *it* to work. Thats all!

> It isn;t a case of mimicking you to get it right. It's a case of -
> what is right for for you is cool, but doesn't work for me, and that's
> why I need some folks to advise me who know this because the world is
> not an aspie world.