| Re: Enlightenment - Instantaneous vs. Path |
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Group: alt.magick · Group Profile
Author: Executive FunctionExecutive Function Date: Sep 8, 2008 13:51
On 2 Sep, 18:53, mika gmail.com> wrote:> On Sep 2, 3:09 am, Executive Function  wrote:
>
>> Â Â I didn't like the way you
>> automatically assumed I must have misinterpreted the threat though (I
>> didn't). Â You could have asked for clarification about that first.
>
> Even if you didn't misinterpret the threat, it is irrelevant. Â You
> have two choices: Â live your own life as you choose according to your
> own nature, or live a life based on other peoples' desires and
> expectations.
>
> Every time you are provided with a suggested course of action to deal
> with your shit, you come up with some excuse why you can't take that
> action. Â This claim that people are out to get you, whether accurate
> or fantasy, is just another attempt to avoid facing and dealing with
> the actual practical work you need to do (that is, you would need to
> do if you actually wanted to address the problems you have been asking
> for advice about here).
If we would/were to compare ourselves as akin to musicians when we
work together, then I would be the drummer to your violin Mika. I can
look after the beat but outside of the gig I need a bit of help. It's
a trade off.
Yesterday I was in a hotel, in complete meltdown, and asked my ex to
take me to the nearest psychiatric place because looking at myself
from the third person I knew that a fuse or two was not working
upstairs, and willing yourself to die for a few hours whilst propped
up against the corner in fetal position was a definate no no.
If I could simply do what I want without overload or meltdown then I
would have much more options practically - but as I have to work with
what I've got (including brain damage from birth because our genetics
don't react kindly to drugs and birth trauma) then no matter how
intellegent I seem to be ordinarily then I have to give over my
independance and decision making sometimes. And this is very scarey -
and all I want in such times is to feel safe, because when I am like
this there is so much going on up top that I am very
ssssssslllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
To be a practical aspie - I have to take this shit into account. If
people would give me advice while taking this into account like I have
to - I might get much better advice i think.
I've met a lot of aspies that stay with thier parents and never move
out of thier own personal comfort zone wey beyond the norm, and others
who just put up with the overload and the meltdowns and try and 'go
for it', whatever 'it' is. I really would like some good advice from
this forum, and occaisionally I've got it. You, Tom, Erwin, and
(*very* appropriately at the time, (he knew it, and you didn't))
Archangel, have all helped me at one time or another, and I truely
appreciate that as the years come and go.
My relationships with people, whether online or off are very important
to me, whether I show that or not, and more often I do not. Sometimes
I have all the emotional intelligent response of a teaspoon
unfortunately.
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