CoreyWhite wrote:
>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>> Interesting. I used to read tarot, my daughter is named after Justice,
>> and she is a Libra. I can not show you my latest artwork. I can tell
>> you what it is about. It is a vision of me and my master. I am afraid to
>> show it to you. I drew it last week while sitting in a meeting. I will
>> say this much. He is fully clothed and I am fully naked. He is facing
>> towards the viewer, and my back is to the viewer. He is sitting on a
>> throne and I am kneeling before him all bound up.
>>
>>
>
> And I am sure it is one of your best. You have the skill for it more
> than I do, even though I may be a more creative thinker.
>
But I can not show it to the world until he apologizes to me. I have to
keep it a secret. I must not waste another page on him. Send me your
picture, let me work on your portrait. You are a young magician. Tell me
who you identify with.
>
>> My brother and father have legal careers and I get along with lawyers.
>> In addition my community knows I am one of the few with a legalistic
>> mind. In fact, my intellect is seen as a two edged sword.
>>
>>
>
> And you certainly can top me, but I have one heck of a spirit. I don't
> think you could ever brake it. I would just pull myself right back up.
> It is because I have always had so much support and encouragement, and
> I'm always smiling.
>
Perhaps we ought to subscribe to soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm.femdom
together. I have a friend who is a dominant who is helping me with my
submissive side so perhaps I can explore my dominant side with you in
that group. ssb-b is not safe for my submissive side. I must keep that
private and in my friend's private group. I have not met a dominant yet
that I trust so it is going to take time for that kind of relationship.
Perhaps I am polyamorous. Who knows. I do not think that is allowed in
my religion, but again who knows. What do you think about polyamory?
Paul Evodokimov writes about women in Tibet who practice polyandry so it
is not impossible. Barrister perceived that I could have two tops or
doms at once, so perhaps that is my destiny. This would be a very
interesting subject to research: the practice of polyandry in Tibet. I
used to practice Tibetan Buddhism too and had a Native American Tibetan
Buddhist teacher as a teenager! He would take me out to dinner in
Chinatown or this Vietnamese restaurant on Polk Street in the city in
his sports car when I was still a minor living at home with my parents.
>
>> You are indeed clairvoyant Corey. We share this gift. But Eastern
>> Orthodox are not allowed to talk about it, nor disclose it. It must be
>> identified by others. Your vision of my naked body was not entirely off
>> the mark. Send it to me again, I will print it out and edit it for you.
>>
>
> I'll send it to you Atlanta.
>
Ok. I just sent you the portrait of me I told you about.
>
>> I am thinking about sending you a photograph my daughter took of me in
>> my bedroom with a very sexy dress on. I wore it to church one day and a
>> woman said in a whisper to me "that is a very sexy dress". I never wore
>> it again... but if I send it to you, it will be like inviting you into
>> my bedroom where no man has been since I kicked my husband out. But
>> since you already had a vision of me naked... that is kind of going
>> backwards. I have print photographs going back to when I was a
>> teenager. I may mail you one of those.
>>
>
> I could capture all of your beauty. And I desperately would like to
> see.
>
>
I just sent it. Remember you must show me your sketch before you post
it. And keep in mind that this photograph was right before my 30th
birthday and right after I kicked my husband out so I was very
traumatized. It was during the period of domestic violence.
>> That photograph you drew a sketch of me of was taken in my parent's
>> kitchen, so in essence you have captured this moment for all eternity
>> and displayed it to the world. Not a bad start for your devotional. ;-)
>> How are you feeling?
>>
>>
>
> I'm feeling like I'm too obsesed with you, and should work on getting a
> job and getting my own appartment. You said that's what you want for
> me?
>
>
Yes. That is what I want you to do. Let us find a more positive word.
You may be devoted to me and I will channel the Goddess for you. This is
our destiny. I can do this. I was devoted to the Goddess before I was
devoted to Christ. Since I do not have a master right now I can do this.
It is ok. I am totally at peace with it.
I am going to start training so I can get a new job very soon. We will
do this together. I have my own 2BDR apartment so I can really support
you in getting your own room. Start out with that. At your age... I was
in a serious transition. I can barely remember.
Tell me your exact age again and I will tell you where I was at your age.
>> I have been hitting the caffeine, I finally broke down and bought some
>> coffee, and the nicotine. I was feeling so angry the other night I asked
>> my ex to bring me a pack of American Spirit cigarettes when he came by
>> to drop off something for our daughter. I told him I know how to use it
>> like medicine like the Native Americans, and its true, I do. He
>> protested at first, but then I lectured him about his vices and he
>> relented. He likes to think marijuana is superior to tobacco. Common
>> Rastafari delusion.
>>
>> I have smoked one so far.
>>
>>
>
> If you have quit before you can do it again. I think it is just what
> you need right now, and could really help you cope. You just have to
> stop buying them if you ever want to stop.
>
I never have been addicted to nicotine. I only smoke it when I need it.
It is better I smoke a cigarette when I am angry then to be abusive. I
did not buy it. I asked my ex too. I rarely buy a pack of cigarettes.
>
>> I guess my decision to war even harder against masturbation has made my
>> vice come out in other directions.
>>
>>
>
> I've been doing the same. But as a man I can't go for ever. The
> orgasms I've been having since I started dieting, exercising again, and
> drinking lots and lots of water, have been intense. That's the way
> they should feel.
>
I can not masturbate as an Eastern Orthodox woman so I am in hell right
now. I am trying not to hate my sexuality. It is hard. I must not
repress it or oppress it or suppress it, but sublimate it. That is what
my art is for and has always been for, as well as my dancing... This is
a new experience for me, to be a celibate Eastern Orthodox woman. My
Eastern Orthodox friend in another group is trying to help me. You might
want to join the conversation on alt.religion.christian.east-orthodox.
>
>> I have been losing weight. I here that about a few times a month, you
>> are losing weight. Oh well. This medication I am on causes muscle
>> weakness. But I kind of wanted that. I am trying to become more yin,
>> more feminine. I am letting this process work its course.
>>
>> Atalanta was not a mother goddess. She was a maiden. You are bringing
>> back my lost maidenhood. Thank you.
>>
>>
>
> You aren't lost Atlanta.
>
Well vladyka thought I was lost. That was one of the first things we had
a horrendous fight over. He still has not apologized to me over that
one. And it just got worse. He had the nerve to tell the Eastern
Orthodox I was a lost soul from the city my parish is in! He named my
parish by allusion before I did.
When I am with you, I don't feel lost, Corey. You restore my roots, for
I am indeed a magickal wiccan gothic pagan Eastern Orthodox woman.
>
>> I blind carbon copied some negative messages from some users of this
>> group to a dom friend and he told me what to do in order to have a more
>> positive peaceful experience in this group. So we can continue to
>> converse here now, peacefully and positively. Thank you for your
>> positive energy. You are restoring me to sanity!
>>
>
> Thank you. You are like a guiding light to me in these turbulent waves.
>
>
It is not me, it is the Goddess. Remember to give homage to her. I am
really struggling with the Virgin Mary. I have a Catholic friend who is
devoted to her. He was nagging me on Monday to pray to her. My former
chapel is dedicated to her. I have so many prayers and icons to her.
My friend sent me his book on the Winter Pascha for the chapter on the
Virgin Mary. It has been on my mind. I had a very hard time reading his
book this Winter Pascha. The Scripture is confusing me. It seems that
the Virgin Mary knew her husband after her Son was born, but that is not
Eastern Orthodox doctrine.
I am having a very hard time with the virginity of the Theotokos. At
church on Sunday there were all these little icons of the Theotokos and
I picked up a couple. Priests and monks and abbesses and nuns have given
me icons of the Theotokos. I prefer putting them up in my daughter's
room. Her saint is a virgin martyr deaconess.
