No cluons were harmed when Tom wrote:

And sometimes with flavored oils and sometimes with whipped cream. Often
with chainsaws which may or may not be weilded in your defense, but which
will likely scare that obnoxious neighbor enough to make him call the SWAT
team. They could also come bearing goldfish, which probably falls under the
"ineffective" heading, but oh, the frat stunts you can pull, especially if
the chainsaw and whipped cream people join in, but not Mr. Obnoxious -
he'll just complain about the noise, put whistlers in the exhaust pipe of
your Harley to get even and sic his Pomeranian on your friends. And he
would just get annoyed by the eels in his mailbox from last week, when
nobody was trying to help because of that thing with the grease on the
trampoline and the rabid mayflies, but it seemed like a good idea until the
damn do-gooders took HIS side. Still, he's bitter because his ex is your
new girlfriend, and she teases him by sunbathing nude on the roof of your
condo, which is what started the fire and the explosions (you never should
have stored the gunpowder so close to the steam-powered vibrator) - oh,
and the fireworks were pretty. But anyway, don't worry about the help - the
lawsuits will take a long time wind through the courts and they'll never
find your house in the volcano until it's too late to avoid yet another
zombie apocalypse.

Or something.

Mark Edwards