> In article <3Fwtk.24423$f%%6.5...@newsfe09.ams2>,
> zan...@hotwankmail.co.uk says...
>

>> When i went to London a few weeks back i went past the scientology 'shop'
>> and saw books so went in to have a look. It was a bit like walking into some
>> bizzare set off the xfiles on mushrooms, all uniformed and brainwashed up
>> sort of thing. Somehow i was psychologically goaded into buying Dianaetics
>> which i took home with me. After having a flick through it and had a bite of
>> the apple i was absolutely horrified, it is hard for me to believe that
>> people could be taken in like this.

>
> l. ron hubbard's diary is funnier still, if you're into that sort of
> thing.
>
> http://www.holysmoke.org/ga/ga07.htm
> full quote down below:
>
>
>

>> Obviously if it lightens a persons path
>> or makes life better for people who am i to complain, like Nietzsche said,
>> if some false belief makes a person happy what difference does it make? Odd
>> that he said that considering the clonking great battle axe he had to finely
>> grind with Christianity. There was a review of Dianetics on amazon where a
>> reviewer said they were a hardened bibliophile and that it was the only book
>> they had ever destroyed rather than given away to charity etc.

>

>> But, what the heck, Do What Thou Wilt.

>

>> Please note that the views expressed here may not be those of the
>> schizophrenic.

>

>> mail.com> wrote in message
>>news:a988b874-001b-4334-bcb0-80a5e1f9787e@v1g2000pra.googlegroups.com...

>>> i've listening to ozzy osbourne's guitar player, mr. crowley
>>> and i read from a website that he was one of those scientologists
>>> is aleister crowley a member of your clubs?
>>> is he in any movies?
>>> i really enjoy his guitar playing and want to see if he has 6 digits,
>>> an extra finger, because when i try to play guitar like him i start to
>>> hallucinate and hear phantom flute sounds
>>> and the medication nurse tells me that it's just a dream of the day
>>> and to just rest my head on the padded walls
>>> its okay too, the flute playing isn't that good
>>> i know its the psychiatrist trying to cheer me up
>>> he doesn't know the pan myths
>>> but i don't play pan flutes
>>> you should get one
>>> i thought you said i was the nurse
>>> well you are now

>
> THE ADMISSIONS OF L. RON HUBBARD
>
> [Quote]
>
> Course I
>
> The purpose of this experiment is to re-establish the ambition,
> willpower, desire to survive, the talent and confidence of myself.
>
> To accomplish the above the following fears must be removed
>
> Fear that I have written myself out by writing junk. I built certain
> psychoses in myself while living with my former wife as a means to
> protect my writing. I affirmed that my writing was hard work and took
> much labor. This was a lie. I was always anxious about people's opinion
> of me and was afraid I would bore them. This injected anxiety and
> careless speed into my work. I must be convinced that I can write
> skillfully and well, that I have no phobias about writing and no fears
> of it. People criticized my work bitterly at times. I must be convinced
> that such people were fools. I must be convinced that I can write far
> better than ever before, that a million people at least would be happy
> to see my stories. I must be convinced that I have succeeded in writing
> and with ease will regain my popularity, which actually was not small. I
> must also be convinced that I dictate stories to a dictaphone with ease.
>
> I must be told that my memory is strong and reliable, that I can
> remember all I have ever read or studied, that no illness or medicine
> has affected mind or memory.
>
> (b) My service record was not too glorious. I must be convinced that I
> suffer no reaction from any minor disciplinary action, that all such
> were minor. My service was honorable, my initiative and ability high. I
> have nothing to fear from friends about my service. I can forget such
> things as Admiral Braystead. Such people are unworthy of my notice.
>
> (c) I can have no doubts of my psychic powers. My magical ability is
> high and clear. I earned my titles and command.
>
> (d) Any distaste I may have for Jack Parsons originated in a psychic
> experiment. Such distaste is foolish. He is my friend and comrade-in-
> arms.
>
> (e) Sexual feeling has been depressed by several things amounting to a
> major impasse. To cure ulcers of the stomach I was given testosterone
> and stilbesterol. These reduced my libido to nothing. While taking these
> drugs I fell in love with Sara. She can be most exciting sexually to me.
> Because of drugs as above and a hangover from my ex-wife Polly, I
> sometimes am unexcited by anything sexual. This depresses me.
>
> My wife left me while I was in a hospital with ulcers. Polly was quite
> cruel. She was never a woman for me. She was under-sexed and had bad
> sexual habits such as self-laceration done in private. She was no mate
> for me and yet I retained much affection for her. It was a terrible blow
> when she left me for I was ill and without prospects. I know, by this,
> she actually wanted no more than my ability to support her. This has had
> an effect of impotency upon me, has badly reduced my ego.
>
> Polly was very bad for me sexually. Because of her coldness physically,
> the falsity of her pretensions, I believed myself a near eunuch between
> 1933 and 1936 or ? when I found I was attractive to other women. I had
> many affairs. But my failure to please Polly made me always pay so much
> attention to my momentary mate that I derived small pleasure myself.
> This was an anxiety neurosis which cut down my natural powers.
>
> In 1938-39 I met a girl in New York, Helen, who pleased me very much
> physically. I loved her and she me. The affair would have lasted had not
> Polly found out. Polly made things so miserable that I finally detested
> her and became detested by Helen, who two-timed me on my return to New
> York in 1941. This also reduced my libido. I have had Helen since but no
> longer want her. She does not excite me and I do not love her.
>
> In 1942 - December 17th or thereabouts - while training in Miami,
> Florida, I met a girl named Ginger who excited me. She was a very loose
> person but pretended a great love for me. From her I received an
> infection of gonnohorea (sp?). I was terrified by it, the consequences
> of being discovered by my wife, the navy, my friends. I went to a
> private doctor who treated me with sulfa-thiazole and so forth. I
> thought I was cured but on a plane headed to Portland, Ore. I found I
> was not. I took to dosing myself with sulfa in such quantities that I
> was afraid I had affected my brain. My wife came to Portland. I took
> what precautions I could. I think actually that the disease was utterly
> cured very early. This fear further depressed my libido. My wife
> disliked the act anyway, I believe, even after she had a hysterectomy in
> 1938. (She was always terrified of childbirth but conceived despite all
> precautions seven times in five years resulting in five abortions and
> two children. I am quite fond of my children but my wife always tried to
> convince me that I hated them.)
>
> I carried this fear of the disease to sea with me. I was reprimanded in
> San Diego in mid-43 for firing on the Mexican coast and was removed from
> command of my ship. This on top of having sunk two Jap subs without
> credit, the way my crew lied for me at the Court of Inquiry, the insults
> of the High Command, all combined to put me in the hospital with ulcers.
>
> I returned to sea as navigator of a large ship and was subsequently
> selected for the Military Government School at Princeton whither I went
> in 1944-45 for three months. During my Princeton sojourn I was very
> tired and harrassed (sp?) and spent week-ends with a writer friend in
> Philadelphia. He almost forced me to sleep with his wife. Meanwhile I
> had a affair with a woman named Ferne. Somehow, perhaps because I had
> constantly wet feet and no sleep at Princeton, I contracted a
> staphloceus infection. I mistook it for gonnhorea and until I arrived at
> Monterey, believed my old illness had returned. I consulted a doctor
> there who reassured me. This affair again depressed my libido. The
> staphloceus infection has not entirely vanished, appearing as rheumatism
> which only small doses of stilbestrol will remove. The hormone further
> reduces my libido and I am nearly impotent.
>
> Sara, my sweetheart, is young, beautiful, desirable. We are very gay
> companions. I please her physically until she weeps about any
> separation. I want her always. But I am 13 years older than she. She is
> heavily sexed. My libido is so low I hardly admire her naked.
>
> I mean to be constant to her. I love her very much. But to live with her
> I must regain my sexual powers, my stimulus.
>
> I must cease to take hormones. I must rebuild my feeling of excitement
> about things sexual.
>
> I have a very bad masturbatory history. I was taught when I was 11 and,
> despite guilt, fear of insanity, etc. etc. I persisted. At a physical
> examination at a Y when I was about 13, the examiner and the people with
> him called me out of the line because my testicles hung low and
> cautioned me about what would happen if I kept on masturbating. This
> "discovery" was a bad shock to me.
>
> I had to be so silent about it that now when a bedspring squeaks I lose
> all libido. I eventually found out I would not be insane, or injure
> myself but the scars remain.
>
> Polly pretended a hollow passion which disgusted me. But I am
> lingeringly fond of her even so. I am also nostalgic about Helen.
>
> By eliminating certain fears by hypnosis, curing my rheumatism and
> laying off hormones, I hope to restore my former libido. I must! By
> hypnosis I must be convinced as follows:
>
> (a) I can write. I need not think commercially about writing.
>
> (b) My mind is still brilliant. My memory unaffected by drugs or
> experience.
>
> (c) That masturbation was no sin or crime and did not injure me. That no
> sexual practice has ever dulled me.
>
> (d) That things sexual thrill me. That I am now returned ...
>
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