It is rumoured that Rasputin's member was pickled and is in a jar in a
museum in Moscow.

Men pickled Rasputin's small dick
To prove that it weren't worth a lick
But ladies all knowed
It's not what he showed
'twas how he could moisten them quick!

I'm offering all bestest wishes,
And hopes for a Christmas delicious,
And in the New Year,
A lot of good beer,
And oodles of ladies lubricious.

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Dirruk wrote:

Now Dirruk's full name came out grand,
In snow that was fine as beach sand.
The spelling correct,
From a nozzle erect,
All written in Sallie Mae's hand.

Jeff

From "http://www.thisistrue.com">This is True" by Randy
Cassingham:
When "the" narcotics officer at the Smith County, Texas, Sheriff's
Dept. got a tip that there was a marijuana growing operation in a rural
part of the county...the resident not only answered the door, but
consented to a search since "he knew we were coming sooner or later."
...John Daniel Miller III, 55, who claimed it all was for his personal
use, was arrested for felony possession.

John Miller's gone off to the klink.
I wonder, does he really think
They'd leave him alone
With all that he's grown,
When he, daily, raises a stink?

The Bodyless Head

A woman is in the delivery room in labor. One final push and the baby
comes out. Above the baby's pitiful first cries, she hears the
horrified
gasps of the doctor and shrieks of the nurses. The baby is rushed away
before she can see it.

Later, a doctor comes in and says, "I'm afraid there's a...problem
with
your new son. It seems he was born without a body."

She stammers, "You mean..."

"Yes," the doctor says, "he's just a head. But, on the bright side,
he's
a perfectly healthy and normal head."

Mortgages they can't repossess,
Our sniggers we try to repress.
Those wonderful bankers
Were blunderful wankers
And nothing exceeds like excess.

Adventurous and wanton is Ida
She likes to have two men inside her
With one in her bum
And one where I cum
She IS our own Hardon collider.
Ærchie

Followup-To: set to alt.jokes.limericks where it should be

observer msn.com> said:

The limerick's run isn't over
but the arts group isn't a mover.
Between you and me
it's just too PC
and restricts me to only one lover.

Something about that is not quite right...

If the end of the world is nigh
How come I can still see blue sky
I would have thought
That planet's end ought
To include the Large Hadron Collider?