I'm certain some of the readers will have plausible explanations .........

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered
rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for
your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be
a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up
like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

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http://hi.baidu...

"Juan M" hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:i_6dnTuV-tZ2J8zUnZ2dnUVZ_szinZ2d@centurytel.net...

Many old, most corny, couple new ones!

......................

The roundest knight at king Arthur's round           table was
Sir Cumference.
                    He acquired
his size from too
      much pi.
            2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on
an Alaskan...

The Bodyless Head

A woman is in the delivery room in labor. One final push and the baby
comes out. Above the baby's pitiful first cries, she hears the
horrified
gasps of the doctor and shrieks of the nurses. The baby is rushed away
before she can see it.

Later, a doctor comes in and says, "I'm afraid there's a...problem
with
your new son. It seems he was born without a body."

She stammers, "You mean..."

"Yes," the doctor says, "he's just a head. But, on the bright side,
he's
a perfectly healthy and normal head."

Extract from Public Relations: a Matter of Spin by N E RentonA mathematician, an accountant and a public relations officer all applied for the same job with a large company.

The interviewer called in the mathematician first and asked, "What does two plus two equal?"

The mathematician replied, "Four."

The interviewer asked, "Four, exactly?"

The mathematician looked at the interviewer incredulously and said, "Yes, of course: four, exactly."

Then the interviewer called in the accountant and asked the same question, "What does two plus two equal?"

The accountant said, "On average, four - give or take 10 per cent; but on average, four."

Then the interviewer called in the public relations officer and again posed the same question, "What does two plus two equal?"

The public relations officer got up, locked the door, closed the shade, sat down next to the interviewer and whispered, "Well, what do you want it to equal?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

A newly established public relations consultant, wanting to impress the first client coming into his office, picked up the telephone and said, "I'm sorry, but I have a tremendous workload at the moment and I won't be able to look after your campaign for at least a month."

He then hung up, turned to the young man in his office and asked, "What can I do for you, sir?"

"Nothing," replied the young man. "I'm just here to hook up your phone."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man went to the human resources department of a large public relations company and handed the manager a job application and his cv. The manager scanned the material and noticed that the applicant had had a lot of job changes. Naturally, he queried this and got an explanation from the applicant.

"I must say," said the manager, "your work history is terrible. You seem to have been fired from every job you ever held."

"Yes," admitted the man.

"Well," continued the manager, "there's not much positive in that."

"Hey!" responded the applicant. "You can see that at least I'm not a quitter."

Nick Bell wrote:

Ireland: Where the people are angry.

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

Nick Bell wrote:

Ireland: Where the people are angry.

This was written by a black gentleman in Texas and is so funny. What a
great sense of humor and creativity!!!

When I was born, I was BLACK ,
When I grew up, I was BLACK ,
When I went in the sun, I stayed BLACK,
When I got cold, I was BLACK ,
When I was scared, I was BLACK ,
When I was sick, I was BLACK ,
And when I die, I'll still be BLACK .

NOW, You "white" folks....
When you're born, you're PINK,
When you grow-up, you're WHITE ,
When you go in the sun, you get RED,
When you're cold, you turn BLUE,
When you're scared, you're YELLOW,
When you get sick, you're GREEN,
When you bruise, you turn PURPLE ,
And when you die, you look GRAY.