Read this only if your bored. It's long, and the best is yet to come.
I'll post the rest tomorrow if anytone wants to take a peek. Maybe
I'll even post the picture of the bill that came from God.

God gives you ample amount of time to decide whether he exists. I have
prayed, and prayed, and prayed in my earlier years only to be met with
absolutely no identifiable results. Those days have long passed and I
stand before you to tell you this: God does indeed exist. I know that
in a world this fucked up it is hard to see the light. In America
everything is all cherries when the rest of the world gets the pits.
Even the homeless have it made. It’s easy to find food, easy to find
good cigarette butts, and hell, even in California good trim is thrown
out the window, left on the highways for any homeless pothead to find.

I think one of the main problem atheist’s have is that the only way
for them to believe is to have seen. When at the same time we read in
the bible that ‘blessed are those who believe but have not yet seen.’
I have seen but you may never will. All I can give is testimony;
testimony so strong that many have been convicted of capital crimes
with the evidence I give to you. I can even show you a picture, but
you could just as well argue that what was photographed did not come
from God. When in the end, everything that comes to us comes from God.

Let me tell you of the miracles I have seen. This may be lengthy, and
in the end it may make no sense at all, but in the end this story is
just beginning.

Let me start from the top... My mother’s name is Mary and my father’s
middle name is Joseph. I think I get bonus points when I get up to
heaven, maybe, just maybe, I get a bigger room. I am no Jesus, it is
all just a coincidence. Now let me start to rattle off the first
coincidences of this very long story.

It all started with a prayer. I had been living up in Seattle on the
money I saved up from working at a local newspaper near Portland
Oregon. I had spent all of my money on good bud. I don’t smoke bud
anymore but at the time I smoked way too much. I had been having
trouble finding a decent job and so I decided to get on my knees and
pray. I prayed for a good job so that one day I could save up a little
bit of money so that I could go help the poor in some impoverished
nation. Maybe build a school or start up a little business. Nothing
major, just give back to the people who have given me so much.

And so I wake up the next day and head down to Pike Place Market where
I meet this fellow who suggests going to get a job at a local temp
agency up atop the international district. I go there but do not get a
job and instead this other guy tells me to go to this place called
Casa De Latino, another temp agency which supposedly pays better. I go
there the following morning and am waiting for my number to get called
(they give you a number and if it gets called then you get to work)
and this guy comes up to me and asks me if I want a job. I of course
say yes and he tells me that he felt like he was being led to me. That
really freaked me out. Anyway and so the guy (named Dave) leads me to
this other guys house (Bobby Z) and Bobby Z asks me if I want a job
selling cars, making real good money. And so there it is, I pray for a
job, and one random coincidence after another, after another leads me
to working for a local Jeep dealership up in Bellevue Washington.
Guess what... That job was hell. EVERY single motherfucker there was
snorting dope on the hour twenty fucking four hours a day. I go behind
the managers desk and whaddya know, a Jeep magazine with more razor
blade marks then pins in hellraisers face.

One funny thing I remember is that Bobby Z had just bought a used car
for his girlfriend (like an ’85 Honda accord) and he asked me :
“Hey Frank, you think this car will get me a blowjob?” I said no, and
that it would probably get him a handjob at best.

That job lasted forty fucking days. Then the manager asks me if I want
a line of dope, I say no and the next day they fire me. I actually
lost about twenty pounds because I had no money to eat, all I ate was
at my friend Tuan’s place, he liked to fix me fried chicken.

Now this story is just ready to begin........