Joe Bageant: 'Adam Smith meets Cousin Ronnie's boy'

That ain't no class underclass; it's 250 million rugged individuals being
pissed on.

Joe Bageant

Unbelievable as it seems today, there was a time when such people as doctors
and lawyers did not necessarily live apart from the dirt front yards and
Saturday night domestic scraps of the laboring class. The doctor who
delivered me in 1946, the most prosperous in town by all accounts, lived
just a few short blocks from the rundown Kent Street "white trash and nigger
street" my parents called home. His fee for dragging my screaming ass into
the light was an exorbitant $100 --and for a caesarian birth at
that--because the US Army was writing the check. The good doctor lived close
enough that my old man could walk a five-dollar payment over to his house on
payday, close enough that I could see his rooftop from my upstairs bedroom
window. As a kid, knowing such an educated, prosperous man lived so near was
somehow comforting. And at least it gave an example of what one might
possibly aspire to, given the education.

Not that the working people then generally aspired to an education. In those
days most folks could make a living without being very educated, or even
very bright. A high school education was adequate for the jobs available in
East Coast agriculture and manufacturing based town like Winchester. As for
the professions, our medical and legal needs were meet by a handful of
physicians and semi-savory lawyers ground out by the University of Virginia,
"men of tradition" who made much of graduating from "Mistah Jeffah-sun's
University," then went about their business of real estate theft and keeping
the bubbas out of jail. As for teachers, nearby Shepherdstown State Teachers
College provided the class in between the bubbas
("Yore-Honor-I-never-meant-to-kill-that-guy-with-my truck,
I-was-only-trying-to-take-out-his-mailbox...") and the country club lawyers.
But overall, life required little education. Nobody was yet writing computer
programs to put multibillion dollar cybernetic nuclear dildos in outer
space. It was just plain American life in a plain American town. I know I'm
sounding like one more cranky fart lamenting the good old days, but hang on,
it takes me a few licks to get good and wound up.

While we of the sweating classes were straining the limits of our educations
to read the new fangled TV Guide, the smarter bugs were swarming elsewhere
to build colonies of their own. People more relentless in the pursuit of
actual intelligence--the cognitive elite, as they have been called--were
aggregating in universities, scientific laboratories, publishing and
financial institutions.... Bright folks who understandably enjoyed each
other's company much more than beer drinking and arm wrestling contests with
the rest of us down South or out in the lonelier reaches of Midwest.
Predictably enough, they married their own kind--everyone being smarter,
better educated and having a reasonably attractive number of remaining
teeth--and raising similarly bright children in neighborhoods of other like
couples. From that point all it took was social, political and professional
networking, and a diligent sex life of course, for them to become a class
apart from the majority.

In fact, they considered themselves the majority (and still do.) When they
looked around in their communities, they saw themselves. They saw people who
had read a good book recently, people who understood the ramifications of
compound interest, office politics and cheese fondue too close to bedtime.
There was not a bus driver or carpet layer or cop in sight. America to them
was Scarsdale or Brookline or a variation thereof, where everyone's job
consisted of fiddling around with some type of paperwork or other in as
serious a manner as possible, pursuits such as engineering, academia,
advertising or market research, or perhaps physics and engineering,
developing resource gobbling "modern miracles" of the suburban lifestyle
such as central air, and more currently , ominous ones such RFID chips for
our driving licenses as an intermediate step on their way into our necks.
But these were not real jobs mind you, not the kind that made you sweat, but
the fun kind the rest of us saw on television with pretty, wise cracking
secretaries who seemed to regulate traffic in riotously enjoyable
workplaces. The kind of workplace Dick Van Dyke had. And they sure looked
like they were getting smarter. And richer too. I remember my family's
amazement when Laura bought a $40 outfit: "A clothes horse is what that
woman is!" declared my old man. But I'm sure he thought to himself: "Nice
legs though." These people, who invariably lived Up North somewhere, even
played tennis and golf and ate things like chicken ala king, whatever the
hell that was. They were definitely "holding the good end of the stick."

Here on the other end of the stick, places such as Winchester, Virginia and
the Stockyards neighborhood of Cleveland and true working class environs
large and small, the opposite was happening. Hopelessly stuck in the pre-war
industrial working class tradition, somehow, we were becoming dumber and
more given to consumer spectacle such as stockcar racing. Arm wrestling and
the even Saturday night fights could no longer hold our pitifully debased
attention, in which television doubtlessly played some part. So speed and
stupidity were added to the mix, begetting NASCAR.

There were exceptions among the workers. Some blue collar people managed to
get advanced degrees and flee into more upscale realms, where they
presumably mowed their lawns in Madras shorts and anticipated their 6 PM
highballs. But most of us stayed here, or moved to similar places following
employment, and continued to breed our own sturdy-if-dull stock in an
atmosphere where the values of labor, actual hard physical work, prevailed,
mainly because we had a lifetime of it before us.

One is forced to contemplate what effect, if any, generations of flight of
the brightest from the blue collar America had on the vast working class
gene pool. It may even help explain the popularity of such things as
snowmobiles, Garth Brooks and hot chicken wings. Or the inexplicable
willingness of people to wear foam rubber cheese wedges on their heads and
display threatening tribal sports slogans on exposed beer bellies in
freezing weather.

Whatever the case, today we are unarguably looking at the uncurried jowl of
a white underclass. One far, far larger than is acknowledged by our media,
which are obsessed with the Latino and black portion of the underclass,
mainly because color coding the class struggle enables even the ditziest
airhead anchor person or insulated urban liberal to connect the dots. And
let's face it, street gang killings make for better TV ratings than Cousin
Ronnie cooking a weenie on his bug zapper for amusement. For those
interested, cooking time is measured in seconds, and NEVER try a chicken
breast. Still, as my sainted father used to say, "Ignernt is ignernt. Some
people just never amount to nothing and he's one of'em!" While most of the
underclass may not be chortling in the glow of a bug zapper, enough ignernce
prevails to sustain the heartland's delirious happiness with the
Wal-Martization of America. An underclass exists and has become the biggest
class. Don't be fooled by the Discount Dockers and the polo shirts.

You can't smell the rabble from the putting green

The potential genetic implications of class-flight-as-selection are
something liberals refuse to even consider, though I cannot imagine why,
given their enjoyment of moral and intellectual superiority over any kind of
majority. But when it comes to the possibility of people, especially black
and brown people, being possibly born dumb, their minds snap shut. Being
born dumb is a special category reserved mostly for Southerners (Not that
Southerners don't make every effort to prove them true). Such liberal denial
is likely the result of now-calcified liberal dogma developed over many
years, and created in a time when society was better mixed and the divide
was not so great nor so firmly established.

Once we subscribe to the idea that all people are born geniuses, the
solution becomes easy: Affirmative action and more computers in the
classroom. I want to go on record here as not being against affirmative
action, despite that it has blessed us with the likes of Condee Rice and
Clarence Thomas, thus proving that some people probably shouldn't be
educated no matter what color they are. But it's the computers and
technology in white underbelly classrooms which has not panned out as
expected. Nevertheless, cognitive elite Democrats, who themselves have no
problem at all setting up a spreadsheet or a digital video conferencing
program, believe ever more computerization of the classroom will somehow
make underclass kids prefer Immanuel Kant to cruising the mall and smoking
dope. A laptop on every desk simply enables them to cut and paste written
homework assignments faster so they can get to the mall sooner. At best,
under the current system, it prepares them for a life of data entry in the
Empire's electronic plantations. The bottom line is that they can't read.
Feel free to blame anyone you want here, except the free market system's
extreme preference for dim-witted consumers. Most people blame the teachers,
who don't have much say in any of this, but what the hell, they are close to
the crime and easy to hit. Ultimately these kids will join the millions of
adults who cannot read because: 1--They do not have the necessary basic
skills; 2--it's not entertaining enough to compete with the electronic
stimulation they are constantly subjected to; 3--they cannot envision any
possible advantage in reading, the advantages stemming from extended
involvement; never having practiced such, the benefits are understandably
beyond their comprehension; and 4--their peers do not read as a serious
matter, thereby reinforcing the original premise that it's obviously not
worth the time and effort. On underclass planet, it's a reasonable
assumption.

Nevertheless, members of the educated American overclass, liberal and
conservative, assume we are all equally capable of learning new ways of
doing things, and need to learn exactly those sorts of things they perform
daily in the service of the empire that rewards them for managing its
educational, financial and technical affairs. "All are created equal," runs
the mantra. Every last one of them knows it's not true. Not in the society
we have created. But it's vital that everyone keep up the pretense that
Cousin Ronnie's flabby 220-pound 16-year-old, who recently speculated on
"how they manage to grow spaghetti so straight," has an equal chance in
society with the kid in private school purposefully taking his SATs three
times in order to get the highest score possible. Equal or not, somebody has
to muck out the Imperial stables and fight the corpocracy's wars. It won't
be that kid with the huge bookbag lugging his laptop around.

Some part of it is not pretense. Some of it is the ignorance of educated
elites, who will take umbrage at the term and swear up and down, WE ARE NOT
ELITES DAMMIT! Ensconced out there in suburban cupcake land, or perhaps
Manhattan, they seldom if ever encounter this class they inwardly loathe but
claim to care about. Someone needs to tell them that loathing is not only
legal, hell it's OK with the loathed. We don't much like them either. It's
the pretense that galls we the ignernt. Which is one reason so many of us
mutt people see the highly educated as arrogant phonies. This is by no means
entirely true of course. Educated phonies are heartfelt and genuine by their
own peer standards. But still, phoniness and arrogance, the two biggest sins
by working class lights, are the only terms we have in which to conceive of
and counter the inherent insult posed by the overclass pretense of equality.
We ain't all equal, and a hundred more years of affirmative action will
continue to liberate only the brightest among us, who will then promptly
move into the American overclass, if they are lucky, and join in the
unacknowledged loathing. Maybe they'll become the producer of My Name is
Earl, therein being highly paid for expressing their loathing by painting
the underclass as untroubled petty criminal philosophers, living happily and
hornily one step out of the jailhouse and one step ahead of the bill
collectors. Louis XIV staged the same sort of illusions of a naive, ribald,
content underclass--milkmaids, bold sexual bumpkin cowherds, and such--for
his amusement. Lacking the mass hypnotic capabilities of television however,
his overclass fantasies never got outside his gardens.

Conservatives, on the other hand, entertain no illusions about computers in
the schools or anything else. Instead, they stick by the bootstrap myth, and
free marketism as the course to personal and national success. We have over
200 years of evidence strongly suggesting that America's favorite
theological premise, Adam Smith's "unseen hand," like the gravity defying
bootstrap theory, is a sorry thing indeed for any sane person to hang his
ass on, given that both are endorsed chiefly by the smuggest, the greediest
and richest among us. Most working folks would simply prefer an even
start--a fair break for everyone without depending on bootstraps or unseen
hand theology crafted by a man who offered that the self-interested pursuit
of money somehow made men more altruistic. Despite modern apologists'
assertions to the contrary, Smith also believed the unseen hand was actually
that of God, "whose wisdom works itself through competition for wealth," and
that "providence rightly divided the earth among a few lordly masters." He
disliked government except when it was clubbing down "the vice ridden and
slothful poor." Property is government, he said, and "Till there be property
there can be no government, the very end of which is to secure wealth, and
to defend the rich from the poor," thereby writing the Republican Party
platform a full 89 years before the party was even born. Even allowing for
the times, the guy was a bloodless prick. But then, so was Ronald Reagan,
yet we are forced to suffer a similar deification of his addled free market
cowboyisms. Feel free to hold your head and scream.

Us? An overclass? You're nuts!

By now you have asked, "How can the largest class be an underclass?" Simple.
The few can indeed fuck the many (Shock and horror! Who would have guessed?)
even here in the shadow of Lady Liberty, who lifts her lamp beside the
Golden Arches, beckoning cheap labor, Arab oil and Chinese loan sharks
willing to participate in the global ponzi scheme known as the Federal
Reserve Bank. Again, it's the pretense, the utter refusal to call a spade a
spade, that allows the overclass to deny its advantage. But if the bright
cognitive elites are standing on the throats of an unacknowledged majority
while setting up a college fund for their little Cameron, then they are an
overclass. If they go off to the office to write the deep psychographic
marketing campaigns that make Ronnie and Tracy believe they need to buy a
Dell computer on overstretched credit cards for the educational benefit of
their kids, despite evidence to the contrary (Oh boy, now I can print out
pictures from rotten.com!") then they are an overclass. And if they are
financial managers of the extractive economic schemes that bleed ole Cousin
Ronnie to death by a thousand tiny cuts hidden in his utility bill, and if
the same bright elites own portfolios of non-union industries that pit
Cousin Ronnie against Malaysian villagers living on 1000 calories a day,
just to keep his job soldering worthless gewgaws on an assembly line, then
they are an overclass. And if they send him off to Iraq (all the while
swearing they are dead against the Iraq War, but what the hell, it's just
redneck Ronnie, and his sort actually likes that kind of thing, being dumb
crackers and all) to defend their investments in Halliburton, or IBM or
ConAgra, then they are an overclass. It isn't numbers that define an
underclass. It's which end of the screwjob you are on. It's not about money.
Some of the underclass, such as coal miners, earn surprising wages. It's
about inherited advantage and never having to dodge IEDs in Iraq but selling
insurance policies to those who do.

The widening affluence gap aggravates an already existent class system,
though neither class is willing to acknowledge it. The national mythology
holds that we are a "nation of rugged individualism," the implication being
that there are no classes, no masses, just 300 million rugged freedom loving
Daniel Boone/Marlboro Man types completely in charge of their own destinies.
And on rare occasions when class is acknowledged by working Americans, they
express the simplistic consumer state induced view that class has entirely
to do with money, and say they are all "middle class" in a country that is
pretty much divided into only two classes. An astonishing number of families
in the $30,000-per-household bracket believe they are in the top 10%%,
according to some surveys.

Regardless of media-manufactured underclass hallucinations as to class, only
one class is paying half a week's wages or more for a single doctor visit to
a member of the other class. Only one class is counting on Social Security
for its entire retirement income (at least 64%% of Americans and rising, by
last count.) Yeah, yeah, more than half of Americans are invested in the
stock market through 401Ks etc. we are told. But only at a few thousand
dollars per household. When it comes to the much-ballyhooed stock market, 10
%% of Americans split the national hog between themselves, tossing the ears
to the other 90%%. At this point bona fide pinkos may be excused from reading
the next paragraph. You've heard it a million times, but I just can't help
myself, comrade.

Cometh the old familiar numbers so oft heard, but worth repeating in hope
that their meaning may by mysterious courses known only to God, take spark
in the football besotted minds of my fellow underclass mutts: The richest 10
percent of families own a little over 85%% of all outstanding stocks, 87%% of
all financial securities, and 90%% of all business assets. If you throw in
assets such as homes, checking and savings accounts, CDs and money funds,
and pension accounts, then 20%% of Americans own 83%% of all wealth. The
bottom 20%% have no assets, no net worth at all. Put simply, the top 20%% eat
the cake, the middle 60%% eat the crumbs and the bottom 20%% get to lick the
plates while they do everyone else's dishes.

Most true liberals know these numbers by heart. So do conservatives,
although conservatives these days seem to take perverse glee in them. They
usually explain them in terms such as those of Michael Medford, who cherry
picks Will and Ariel Durant's pop history books for gems like:
"Concentration of wealth is a natural result of concentration of ability and
special attributes [one immediately thinks of George Bush and Paris
Hilton]... The rate of concentration varies with the degree of economic
freedom, democracy and liberty ..."

I would not argue that it may derive from a concentration of abilities due
to the aggregation of the brights into a clear-cut self-serving elite who
make the rules, and author bills (such as the one passed by the House this
very morning which would raise the estate tax exemption for couples up to
ten million dollars.) They're bright, they're tight and out of sight. It's
the "freedom and democracy" part that stinks up the conservative argument,
as if Republican logic were not already rancid enough. It's to be expected
though. The bullshit misuse of the terms freedom and democracy has ever
ripened the hubris of the rich and near rich of the business class. But for
the hell of it, we might ask exactly what abilities and "special attributes"
are being concentrated in America these days by the gilded classes of
government, business and media? Paris Hilton's are clear, attractive even.
Jack Abramoff's are obvious as hell. George Bush's talents are genuinely
astronomical, in the same sense as those astonishingly energetic gamma rays
from outer space--they are unobservable.

In any case, Adam Smith lived in a time when money was described in terms of
its effect on human beings, breathing entities who encountered one another
on the streets even as chamber pots of both the rich and the poor were being
emptied in the gutters in plain sight of all. He lived in what cyberheads
now call "meatspace," a place where most of the things that governed life
were out in the open and fairly obvious. Money simply meant gold. Now money
consists of digits coursing through the telecommunications satellites of a
global financial system that manages teeming humanity for its own
perpetuation, hollowing out the common classes in a new financialized
feudalism, although preserving a smaller carriage class necessary to
administrate and preserve the system for a handful of unseen global lords in
New York, Zurich and Beijing. Calculating bastard that Smith was, I doubt he
would much like what we have today.

Lest I sound unnecessarily mean spirited here, I must give the America
overclass its due. Say what you want about the overclass, but godammit, they
love us to death. We may not get a kiss when they rape us, but we seem to
have the undying affection of perps. Liberal or conservative, the overclass
professes belief in and affection for "the people." Then they do everything
humanly possible to assure their families will never be exposed to them. Not
that they know any of the underclass personally, but they know they do not
want to be around them and definitely don't want them anywhere near their
kids. Visions of venereal warts and crystal meth, I suppose. Yet, about the
worst that could actually happen, should we all be forced to live in the
same condominium, is that all parties would be mutually bored to death.

Affection aside, the screwjob continues to escalate. Now you'd think the
screwees would rebel. Hell, illiterate Indians in Chiapas are doing it and
getting results--finally. It all comes down to awareness and the way the
awareness of the classes are purposefully cultivated and manipulated by the
cognitive elites who run media and education. Take health care for example.
Were cultivation of underclass awareness of the health care industry, every
doctor in America would be strung up by the nuts. Spell out how Citibank
actually makes its money and no banker in America would dare leave his
house. So far though, bread and circuses (produced by, guess who?) seem
enough. That, plus a steady deluge of cheap electronic crap. Having sprung
from a tool and artifact producing labor culture, the underclass LOVES
gizmos, however crass. Then too, we cannot discount the value of the
overclass' lush affection for the people.

So what is to be done to establish at least some semblance of an equitable
society in which all or most members operate on a reasonably common plane,
rather than compete by claw ant tooth? One in which mutual human respect
dominates because long denied classism is exposed, then, over time,
dissolved? To put it more practically, what is to be done about kids such as
Cousin Ronnie's?

Liberals, bless their hearts, do know the answer to that one. But it will
cost more than ten Iraq wars, so they never will demand it. Most of what
needs to be done needs to be done before first grade and over generations.
Things like universal health care and purposeful husbandry of security and
love in the homes where children are raised, because these things are
actually allowed to flourish in the home. Flourish because mom and dad are
not clawing their lives away in the Darwinian Survival Working Class Reality
Show. Hillary Clinton pays lip service to it. So does the Black Caucus. But
nobody has the ass to demand an American makeover that will cost, at the
very minimum, maybe ten trillion dollars over at least two or three
generations. And besides, the money is no longer there and never will be
again. When empires die they die broke.

Meanwhile, there is the overclass itself to maintain. Honestly speaking,
most of them work harder these days than ever before and few of them
underestimate their own replaceability as they watch the early stages of the
hollowing out of their own class. But somebody's has to keep on paying lest
they, god forbid, be forced to drink boxed wine. And money must be extracted
from the system to pay for their kids' education, and quickly too, before
the housing bubble bursts, evaporating all that digital fiat dollar equity
everyone knows is not really there. Nothing for the members of the financial
overclass to do but design new hidden charges into Ronnie's credit card
debt, which will indirectly pay for their kids' enrollment at the
university's academic summer camp so that he can compete and remain in the
overclass in which he grew up. No wonder Ronnie's kid smacks the snot out of
out of "the rich kid" after school. Somewhere down inside he grasps the
truth of it all.

This morning I watched an upscale mom and her two kids get out of the Nissan
Maxima at the Smithsonian Naturalist Center next door to the office complex
where I work. As the big tinted plate glass door flashed in the sun, then
swallowed them into its serene quiet realm of mysterious bones and flies
sleeping off eternity in amber, I noticed that both kids were armed with
notebooks and digital cameras for their "unique hands-on museum experience."
I couldn't help but think of Ronnie's kid and his straight spaghetti theory
of botany. It's a laughable thing. Even Ronnie laughed at it. But it was the
kind of laugh meant to hide family shame.

Acknowledged or not, it is also our national shame, this denial of the
existence of class. Ultimately, it is denial of the one truth held common by
every enlightened civilization existent: We are our brother's keeper.

Joe Bageant is the author of a forthcoming book from Random House Crown
about working class America, scheduled for spring 2007 release. A complete
archive of his online work, along with the thoughts of many working
Americans on the subject of class may be found at: www.joebageant.com. Feel
free to contact him at: joebageant@joebageant.com.

Copyright (c) 2006 by Joe Bageant.

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"A little patience and we shall see the reign of witches pass over, their
spells dissolve, and the people recovering their true sight, restore their
government to its true principles. It is true that in the meantime we are
suffering deeply in spirit,
and incurring the horrors of a war and long oppressions of enormous public
debt. But if the game runs sometimes against us at home we must have
patience till luck turns, and then we shall have an opportunity of winning
back the principles we have lost, for this is a game where principles are at
stake."
-Thomas Jefferson