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Author: George DanceGeorge Dance Date: Jan 29, 2010 03:19
On Jan 27, 9:53 pm, rain_shadow gmail.com> wrote:
> On Jan 27, 2:22 pm, George Dance wrote:
>
>> In the Garden
>
>> First rose of spring
>> blooms in the garden
>> where my lady strolls.
>
>> --
>> George Dance
>
> George,
>
> This poem needs an exclamation point -- a punch line, if you will.
> Maybe a word that shows how she feels about spring or the roses or
> even the walkway where she strolls.
> IMHO.
>
> /z. ...
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Author: PrettyStuzzPrettyStuzz Date: Jan 29, 2010 04:55
In article
n7g2000yqb.googlegroups.com>,
George Dance wrote:
> It's caused me to look at 'strolls'. I liked and still like how it
> sounded with 'spring'; but your comment's got me thinking that it's
> too nothing a word to end on; there's a suggestion of indifference.
>
> While thinking that, I got the idea of changing the last line to:
>
> where my lady lingers.
hot fat rose
my lady's lingerie
spring rolls
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Author: matt13matt13 Date: Jan 29, 2010 05:04
On Jan 28, 8:55 pm, PrettyStuzz bellsouth.net> wrote:
> In article
> n7g2000yqb.googlegroups.com>,
> George Dance wrote:
>
>> It's caused me to look at 'strolls'. I liked and still like how it
>> sounded with 'spring'; but your comment's got me thinking that it's
>> too nothing a word to end on; there's a suggestion of indifference.
>
>> While thinking that, I got the idea of changing the last line to:
>
>> where my lady lingers.
>
> hot fat rose
> my lady's lingerie
> spring rolls
hey...this is good stuff, stuart
Romance in Country
Rayette's overpouting lips cooed round
I'll do anything you want if
you'll only love me Lucky for
me she can't pronounce womanizer
Rayette was working Denny's mopping floors
vacuumed mudroom floormats...
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Author: Will DockeryWill Dockery Date: Jan 29, 2010 05:35
On Jan 28, 11:04 pm, matt13 gmail.com> wrote:
> On Jan 28, 8:55 pm, PrettyStuzz bellsouth.net> wrote:
>
> hey...this is good stuff, stuart
>
> Romance in Country
>
> Rayette's overpouting lips cooed round
> I'll do anything you want if
> you'll only love me Lucky for
> me she can't pronounce womanizer
> Rayette was working Denny's mopping floors
> vacuumed mudroom floormats straightened them
> took out trash and freshened up the rest rooms
> we met I went there cause they featured entrees
> chicken cordon blue -- French stuff
> and boocoo freshly brewed coffee that
> Kept me up all night watching cotton balls
> between her toes at the place we shared
> where she also mopped and vacuumed ...
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Author: PrettyStuzzPrettyStuzz Date: Jan 29, 2010 05:38
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Author: Will DockeryWill Dockery Date: Jan 29, 2010 05:47
On Jan 28, 11:38 pm, PrettyStuzz bellsouth.net> wrote:
> matt13 gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> hey...this is good stuff, stuart
>
>> Romance in Country
>
>> Rayette's overpouting lips cooed round
>> I'll do anything you want if
>> you'll only love me Lucky for
>> me she can't pronounce womanizer
>> Rayette was working Denny's mopping floors
>> vacuumed mudroom floormats straightened them
>> took out trash and freshened up the rest rooms
>> we met I went there cause they featured entrees
>> chicken cordon blue -- French stuff
>> and boocoo freshly brewed coffee that
>> Kept me up all night watching cotton balls
>> between her toes at the place we shared
>> where she also mopped and vacuumed ...
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Author: PrettyStuzzPrettyStuzz Date: Jan 29, 2010 07:08
In article
p24g2000yqm.googlegroups.com>,
Will Dockery gmail.com> wrote:
> On Jan 28, 11:38
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Author: =z==z= Date: Jan 29, 2010 07:25
On Jan 29, 1:08 am, PrettyStuzz bellsouth.net> wrote:
> In article
> p24g2000yqm.googlegroups.com>,
> Will Dockery gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
>> On Jan 28, 11:38 pm, PrettyStuzz bellsouth.net> wrote:
>>> matt13 gmail.com> wrote:
>
>>>> hey...this is good stuff, stuart
>
>>>> Romance in Country
>
>>>> Rayette's overpouting lips cooed round
>>>> I'll do anything you want if
>>>> you'll only love me Lucky for
>>>> me she can't pronounce womanizer ...
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Author: Will DockeryWill Dockery Date: Jan 29, 2010 07:50
On Jan 29, 1:25 am, "=z=" gmail.com> wrote:
> On Jan 29, 1:08 am, PrettyStuzz bellsouth.net> wrote:
>> Will Dockery wrote:
>>> On Jan 28, 11:38 pm, PrettyStuzz bellsouth.net> wrote:
>>>> matt13 gmail.com> wrote:
>
>>>>> hey...this is good stuff, stuart
>
>>>>> Romance in Country
>
>>>>> Rayette's overpouting lips cooed round
>>>>> I'll do anything you want if
>>>>> you'll only love me Lucky for
>>>>> me she can't pronounce womanizer
>>>>> Rayette was working Denny's mopping floors
>>>>> vacuumed mudroom floormats straightened them
>>>>> took out trash and freshened up the rest rooms
>>>>> we met I went there cause they featured entrees
>>>>> chicken cordon blue -- French stuff
>>>>> and boocoo freshly brewed coffee that ...
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Author: =z==z= Date: Jan 29, 2010 08:01
On Jan 29, 1:50 am, Will Dockery gmail.com> wrote:
> On Jan 29, 1:25 am, "=z=" gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
>> On Jan 29, 1:08 am, PrettyStuzz bellsouth.net> wrote:
>>> Will Dockery wrote:
>>>> On Jan 28, 11:38 pm, PrettyStuzz bellsouth.net> wrote:
>>>>> matt13 gmail.com> wrote:
>
>>>>>> hey...this is good stuff, stuart
>
>>>>>> Romance in Country
>
>>>>>> Rayette's overpouting lips cooed round
>>>>>> I'll do anything you want if
>>>>>> you'll only love me Lucky for
>>>>>> me she can't pronounce womanizer ...
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