> kat wrote:

>> yahoo.com> wrote in message

>

>> New wife of Biodad will not

>>> feel imposed on.

>>
>> Again something that the new wife should have considered befrore the
>> marriage. (not knowing the background information
>> this might not have been possible)

>
> Just for the record, there is no "new wife of
> biodad." There's a girlfriend of biodad who's pregnant.
> No mention so far of even an impending marriage.

> "chickenfishies" (dtm608@yahoo.com) writes:

>> DH is willing. He said he would
>> have to think about it and asked if we would still let him contact her
>> and keep him updated.... my first impulse is actually YES. She should
>> know him in some form. But.... is that wrong? More confusing for her???
>> Our intention was NEVER to deny her a relationship with him.

>
> I believe it's important for her to have a relationship with
> her biodad. I think it would be wrong to deny that just
> because it would be "confusing" for her. To me, that would
> be like excluding two grandparents from a child's life just
> because it would be "confusing" to have to explain to the
> child why there are two "grandpas" and two "grandmas".
> The more caring adults in a child's life, the better.
>
> It's hard to predict the future, but I believe likely it
> would be better for the girl not to be adopted by her
> stepdad. It seems likely that adoption would lead to
> less involvement from biodad. (Or whatever you want to ...